Am I over reacting?

My fiance and I have been together for 3 1/2 years and a year and a half of on again off again before that because he wasn't ready for another relationship. Last year we bought a house together and got engaged this past Christmas and are in the wedding stage process.

Now, I've know from the start about one of his old friends who at one point was his "sex buddy" when they were both single. It has also come up that during our year and a half of on again off again, when we were still sleeping together, we was also having sex with her. I know he doesn't see or talk to her often and I know that during our 3 1/2 years there were times when she wanted to hang out with him, but when finding out he was bringing me along, she would cancel. We all actually just hung out over the holidays when a good friend of his was visiting from Florida and everything seemed to be fine. I know that he doesn't really talk to her often and that she usually sends him stupid forward emails, a recent one about if "I need you would you..." Well, I also noticed that he responding with "But remember love is like the wind you can't see it, but you can feel it" something he has also said to me numerous times. When I saw this, I was on his email account checking for wedding stuff, but I don't want to confront him because I don't want him to think I was "snooping." Am I worrying about this for nothing?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • This in my opinion is definitely not "nothing" especially if you are planning to spend the rest of your lives together. The only advice I have is to talk to your fiance about this. Can you really get married with this weighing on your mind? I am friends with an ex sex buddy but I would never try to come in between him and his new girlfriend! Sex is sex but love is a whole another story. You owe it to yourself and him to get your feelings in the open, otherwise you will enter a marriage with unneeded baggage and that is definitely not the way to start your lives together!

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What Guys Said 1

  • That would have me tossing and turning at nights too.

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What Girls Said 1

  • Seems to me that there was more than sex buddy thing - why would he respond to her something like this about love. You are definitely not overreacting :(

    try to find a peaceful moment and bring it up calmly, just say the way it was that you saw this e-mail and what did he mean by that. Try to talk calmly and hear him out.

    engagement is a big thing you want to start your marriage with certainty that he is the right one for you and treats and will treat you right.

    good luck!

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