How many people would accept a marriage with a prenup?

If you're dating someone and it's nearing the marriage stage, if your S/O was OK with getting married but insisted on a prenup, would you go through with it?

  • Yes
    57% (25)75% (30)65% (55)Vote
  • No
    43% (19)25% (10)35% (29)Vote
And you are? I'm a GirlI'm a Guy
Updates:
The conversations here are definitely interesting. I think we should keep this going to discuss how marriages are today.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • No, I would not. I mean if I'm in a relationship and it's nearing the stage of marriage

    then the guy should know me pretty well by that point. Well enough to know,

    I could care less about money and I'm more of a giver then a taker. So, if

    we ever got divorced he could have whatever he wanted, has long as I get

    my personal belongings and my dog, he can have everything else. If I ever get married,

    it would because we love each other, not for fincial reasons. So, if we ended up divorcing

    there wouldn't be anything materielistic that could replace the one thing I wanted the

    most and that would be the man I married. So, if it didn't work out, I would just walk away.

    I wouldn't want his money and if he was gonna marry me, he should know that.

    Besides, if he's asking for prenup "in case" of divorce. I would take that as red flag,

    that he doesn't think our relationship will last, because (in my opinion) that's a strange

    question to ask somebody. "Will you marry, but before you say yes. Just sign

    on the dotted line, it's prenup in case we get divorced" Who does that? Why do that?

    The bottom line, if two people get married it's for love and (hopefully) the right reasons.

    It which case, they'd be able to get through any adversity together and divorce

    wouldn't be an issue. But, if they marry for the wrong reasons, then I suppose it's

    a possibility.

    Also, prenup's should only be for people who make millions of dollars. I mean, if she

    works at the prefume conuter at Macy's and he's a machanic at autobody repair shop.

    Honestly, how much money are they really going to accumulate? Not enough for either

    one to want a prenup, because what would they stand to lose fincinally? What a

    beat up car and an apartment, unless you have A LOT to lose fincially, I think it's a bad idea.

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    • I agree. I have no want of a prenup at all. I was married before and we didn't have one and she didn't want anything of mine nor did I want anything of hers. We divorced and went our separate ways. A divorce should be civil depending on the circumstances of it. So no. I don't do prenups. I also make sure of the woman I would marry in the first place.

What Girls Said 15

  • I would only want to get married with a prenup, I just think it is being responsible and looking long term at the big picture. I don't want to picture myself getting a divorce, but if I did, do I really want the headache with all the heartache? I would much rather deal with lawyers and such when I am blissfully unaware of them. I would also not want to have children without life insurance and wills written up for both me and my partner! I just believe we have to be realistic and prepared for the worste so we can enjoy life more without the worry. There is no good way out of life or marriage, my parents made it to "death do us part", but that's no reason to pretend that was a pretty exit plan or there wasn't another door to be gone through that should be planned for. To be honest if my fiancĂ© couldn't sit down and have a serious adult conversation in which we plan for the worste case scenario and he can't be honest and say up front what he would want and sign on it, we really should not be getting married because a marriage involves making big decisions together and needing to be honest about what you want/need.

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  • To be really honest if he wanted one I would do it...bc money is not why I would ever be with a man. I would hope who ever I would marry would know that but I understand its important to some men and women. I would go through with it if it made him feel more secure about marrying. There are a lot of women who have taken men for lots of money. It actually happened to my dad before I was ever born and he was stuck paying child support for 21years. Would go hope a man would know I'm not a money hungry person and there would be no need for one with me, but with this society its hard to except there are a few good women and men out there.

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  • No. You can make a very strong case for why a prenup doesn't make any difference to the feelings on the marriage but you can make just as strong of a case for why it does.

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  • I would, but the problem with a prenup agreement in Canada is that it only holds up for the first 5 years of marriage. If you split after the 5 year mark, they can throw it out in court. Also, I would only suggest getting one myself if my net financial worth was much higher than his at the time of marriage (or vice versa) so that we will each leave with what we came with. And if children are involved, most of the prenup becomes invalidated as one spouse will always be paying child support or alimony to whoever gets the kids. For me, a prenup is pointless.

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    • This is the reality. The courts will screw who they want regardless. Most often the higher income earner, since they tend to work more hours hence the lower income earner is awarded more physical custody and then gets child support which studies have shown is being used as an alimony substitute.

  • Normally I would say no, but if my current boyfriend and I were getting married and he wanted a prenup, I'd agree to it if it was that important to him. Haha we're both poor anyways, so why not? :P

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  • I married a guy like this and resented him,people don't understand that you don't need a prenup if it was your stuff before you got married.

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  • I would not.

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  • I don't care, I would probably do the same things do happen and I believe I should be able to keep what I brought into this relationship as well as he.

    But, if I was a gold digger I'd be PISSED! Lol

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  • I would only because it's fair. I'm an independent married woman of 28. I have worked since I was 10.. my parents taught me how to respect a dollar.. my husband works too. No kids yet.. I think it's fair to leave with what you start with.

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  • Yes

    My boyfriend has a lot more to lose. I would never try to take what's his or his family's. I would also like an agreement on child custody and how the divorce will be handled in regards to their children.

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  • Yes, keeps us both honest with no flakiness

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  • I wouldn't have a problem with it.

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  • No I wouldn't like it as it makes marriage looks like a business deal. Thoughit help to give security to the couple, it somehow seem like a commercial deal. Marriage shouldn't be this way.

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  • Of course I would! People who wouldn't are just immature.

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  • If I'm entering a marriage already preparing for the divorce, I shouldn't be marrying that person at all. If you have doubts about your fiance, if you think that person is taking advantage of you, don't marry them. It's that simple.

    I understand why pre-nups were created and why people think they're necessary, but it's indicative of how much we settle, regarding marriage, that we'd actually marry someone we don't even trust not to bleed us dry. That's very sad.

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    • It also shows that many people don't take marriage and the commitment seriously.

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    • our biological differences. Do you think men are able to have the same amount of certainty as a woman? Of whom the baby is excruciatingly dispersed.

    • Off topic! Mrs. Sparrow Admin. I recommend a site update for the makeover. We should get updates for comments we leave on other comments. I had no idea you wrote me, and this hurts continuity of GAG discussions.

What Guys Said 15

  • I would not. Prenups are expectations of disaster. I can understand how people feel about them given today's divorce rate, but when you sign a prenup, you're offering yourself a way out as if you expect things to go wrong. Remember: "...for better or worse...until death parts us..."

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    • Yeah, but you can say better or worse till death to you part, but that's NOT ACTUALLY THE LEGAL CONTRACT you're getting into. The actual legal contract is whatever the courts in your jurisdiction are ruling in divorces, and if you don't want THAT legal marriage, you need to (try) to ammend it.

  • I have a question that maybe I'll pose to the broader GAG community but thought I'd post it here first...

    If women who won't sign a prenup because the guy "doesn't trust her" are so sure that they'll never divorce, would they legally waive their right to divorce so that it's no longer a possibility for them? I mean, if they're so sure that their marriage will last until death do us part, then they should feel comfortable with having divorce off the table. Otherwise, why get married at all right? I wonder how many would go for it? My guess is not too many.

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    • I'd be down for that. Easily. I wouldn't enter marriage lightly. I'll live with a man for many years first. Date him for years before that. If I wanted to marry him, that'd mean I'd devote my life to him. Not 'until it doesn't work out'. Life. This is one of the reasons I probably won't get married anyway, because I take marriage very seriously and don't see myself trusting someone enough for it.

    • Ow! That's an awesome rebuttle.

  • I don't think people would actually need it. actually if someone suggests it doesn't that make the relationship become fickle? to make it mean less? I have never been in a relationship so I have no idea how this might actually play out but I assume that neither party would like it. it kind of sounds like it would throw a wrench into the picture

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  • Let's just be clear here, in short with no real bias. A prenup isn't for people who are afraid of or don't trust their partner, it is from the statistically safe bet. More than 50% of marriages end in divorce, and women have such a field day in divorce court that a prenup is only logical. A prenup isn't distrust, but with so many people divorces in which no-one thought they would be it only makes logical sense to protect your assets.

    Anyone who refuses a prenup only has two reasons for it. The first is that they are a gold digging whore or the second and very very very very very very very very rare reason is that they truly feel it is a sign of complete distrust.

    Men should talk to a private lawyer in person. This lawyer should be another male who isn't married and over 40, at this consultation discuss the prenup along with every question you have about marriage.

    Oh and before anyone comments, usually only men need a prenup. It happens on a dramatically, and I do mean like one in 10,000,000 case that women actually need a prenup given divorce is rigged in their favor.

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  • Yes ofcourse.. I don't need any of her money.. I married her for her and if the sad thing happened and it didn't work.. then I don't want her to be under pressure because of me taking some of her money.

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  • Yes, of course. Just in case you people forgot - marriage is a legal state that binds two people by contract. Been so ever since the ancient world.

    A prenup agreement is like a life insurance - nobody wants to use it, but you better get one to save up a lot of unpleasant occurrences that the future might bring.

    Also to the girls (mainly, what can I extract otherwise from the results of the poll!?) who claim that "it makes marriage looks like a business deal" - on the contrary! It eliminates the entire scenario that some party (ahem, ladies...) might marry in the first place just to get divorced later and get half of everything!

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  • In all fairness, prenups can vary a ton in what they say, so you should really be more specific about what you're asking. Prenups are just per-nuptial agreements. What they say can vary a lot. Like, Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes had one, so he kept his fortune and mansions when she left him, otherwise he would've been out a fortune, literally.

    Prenups can say, "Hey, we both have our own fortunes and I have kids already, so no matter what, my kids legally get my fortune." They can also be used to discourage divorce, preventing the woman (who files about 75% of the time) from getting the house of certain assets, if she files without proof of abuse of infidelity... not a simple matter.

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  • Yes I would.. I'm very anal when it comes to my finances. It can be unbearable for some.. It would definitely make me happier being prepared for all the options in the future.

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  • I wouldn't want it otherwise. I don't want my wife to stick with me just because she would go broke or all the way around.

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  • Guys would be able to accept a marriage with a prenup, but most women wouldn't. The claim women make about not signing one is that it doesn't make them feel like that the guy trusts them, when its not about trusting them its about facing the reality about marriage, It can either go good or bad . Like for example Tiger Woods cheated on his wife and got what he deserved when it came to the divorce, but honestly does anyone believe that his ex wife would've signed a prenup agreement prior to their marriage if that meant no money?

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    • I guess some degenerate lame didn't like my answer so they down voted me. LOL!

  • No way. Prenups are near useless. Takes more time drawing them up than it does a good lawyer convincing the judge to tear it apart.

    No way. Don't get married, gentlemen.

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  • Sure, I would not have a problem with it

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  • Women will say no, a decision led by emotion rather than logic.

    Typical.

    Men/Logic: 50% percent of marriages end in divorce. 65% of them are initiated by women. Avg first marriages only lasts 8 years.

    Women/Emotion: "Bu...bu...but..but.. He doesn't trust meee!"

    Typical.

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    • If women made more money can you picture them wanting a pre-nup? I constantly see women saying they won't even date a guy who makes less money than them.

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    • but it should be all about what she wants?

      even when he's the one with more to lose ?

    • 1) It shouldn't be about what one person wants more than the other. It should be about what is best for both people.

      2) Family courts are notoriously sexist which is why prenuptial agreements exist in the first place.

  • I would think her all the smarter if she had one in order.

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  • why not? I don't see anything wrong in it.

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