Boyfriend of 5 years now decides he wants to wait until marriage to have sex?

My boyfriend and I have been dating for 5 years. Recently, he's gotten into the whole religion thing and I'm more of a spiritual person. But whatever, I don't mind him being religious until now when he tells me he wants to remain abstinent until marriage. He didn't even consult it with me first and just assumed I would be okay with it. Now, I'm not saying that sex is the most important thing in the relationship, because it's not. But isn't it a little too late for him to decided to be all godly? I just don't think it's fair. I don't like that religion tells you to suppress temptations and feelings that are completely natural and I think it is hypocritical of you to do so. I think that for people to rely so heavily on the bible and it's dystopian ideas is completely ridiculous.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Even organized religion has to go to devious lengths to present pre-marital sex as sinful.They do it through inaccurate translation and misinterpretation of early writings,to end up with a Bible that suits their purpose. link

    Organized religion has been spreading misery on this earth for thousands of years,and Satan would be proud of their achievements.

    They've got him and he's brainwashed.He might have been weak in the head to start with.It's no different to any other cult,and he's likely to resist all logic and reasoning as long as he's under their influence.

    It could take 5 years to get it out of his system,but it may never happen.

    Leave,and don't try to be a part of it.It goes like this:You can suffer for years without sex,while he becomes more religious.Then they will convince him that you're not religious enough to be his partner.Ask me how I know.

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What Guys Said 1

  • Then break up with him. You are obviously his intellectual superior, don't have kids with such a religious fool, right?

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What Girls Said 4

  • If you can't see eye to eye on religious values then you shouldn't be together. It will be more of a problem then sex. What if you have children? You will have one set of standards and he will have another. Its never too late to start living by bible standards. Be happy that he is trying to make himself better. If you examine your attitude perhaps you will see that in the big picture the standards will benefit you because he will try to be a better man/ husband/father with the standards. I know it may be hard for you to accept his new way of life but surely after five years you must love him. When we love people we may have to do things that we don't like if it will make the other person happy. The bible doesn't just tell you to suppress temptations and feelings that are completely natural, it shows you how to avoid temptations. Sometimes we live life doing things that to us were acceptable, but if we discover that its not something we should do we have every right to stop. Ask him to show you from the bible what his reasons for not having premarital sex are. Then ask him to show you from the bible ways you can cope with not having premarital sex. If he can't show you go to jw.org. Also remember that he is not trying to hurt you. He believes he is doing the right thing. Whether you agree with it or not know that is his mind this is showing you honor and respect. He is coming from a good place. I think its sweet. Respect him more for it and love him more. Don't be mad.

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    • But we've gone 5 years with an active sex life, and I don't see how it's fair that we have to stop now because he decides he wants to have "a relationship with God". Also I don't like the idea of him putting God before everything in life and become a fanatic of religion. To me the idea of loving something you can't see or hear more than you love your family is silly. I'm all about the idea of a higher power, in fact I think it's great, but structured religion is where I draw the line.

  • If you never had sex before then its understandable. But if you ready had sex then that's stupid because he can never be absent again because he already lost his virginity and you should tell him that.

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  • You need to sit down with him and fully discuss each of your views so you are aware of each others' opinions and perspectives. He should explain his reasoning to you and you should be able to ask him to.

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  • I can't really say anything because my boyfriend and I will have a no-sex engagement, once we get engaged. As in, once we're engaged, no sex until the wedding night.

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    • So you're having sex before you get engaged?

    • Yeah we already have.

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