My husband rarely goes down on me. He says that he forgets and nothings wrong with me. I feel that he is lying. I've never had a complaint once from past relationships. I found old messages from the past about how he would always go down on the girls he use to date. Now we even rarely have sex. I recently also been catching him looking at nudes. Now it really hurts me because I'm pregnant. Any advice on this?
Most Helpful Guy
Obviously, it's because he doesn't want to.
I've never "forgotten" to go down on a girl; that's like forgetting to breathe.
I don't know what his issue with giving you oral is (only he can answer that), but clearly he has an issue. Here are some common reasons (excuses?) guys give for not giving oral:
- They don't like the taste/smell, and think it's gross.
- They don't know what to do, and are afraid you'll find out they don't know, and thus aren't a "stud."
- They are afraid of vaginas (early childhood trauma, possibly sexual abuse, etc.)
- They had a bad experience previously (girl had bad hygiene, bacterial infection, STD, etc.)
- They think it isn't manly/macho to give oral, and that "people will think they are a pvssy."
Some guys get weirded out about having sex with pregnant girls, but it sounds like this problem pre-dated the pregnancy, so I don't think that's the issue here.
Like most relationship issues, especially sex-related ones, you really need to TALK TO HIM about it and find out how he really feels. You need to get him to tell you the truth, even if you feel hurt by the truth, because you won't be able to solve the problem unless you can be honest with each other about it. Often, the actual "problem" is minor and easily solved, but the fear from the people involved make the whole thing much bigger of a deal than it really is.