Forever engaged. Some people forget the purpose of it?

So I've seen so many people get engaged and years go by and they never get married. Then what is the purpose of being engaged ?


Most Helpful Girl

  • I honestly don't know. I got engaged and married within 8 months of it. Never saw a reason to stayed engaged for long. It would make me think they don't actually want to get married.


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What Guys Said 4

  • Because getting engaged is easy, relatively cheap, and it puts her in a good mood while getting her off your back. Marriage on the other hand is hard, expensive, and she'll never stop nagging you afterwards.

    • Then why bother? I would be more mad if I was forever engaged and never married

    • I just told you why... there may have been some corny humor in there but it was an actual answer.

      Perhaps you prefer simple and direct?

      Men often get engaged because they've been pressured into it. Later down the road they realize what it's going to cost and with time maybe even start to have doubts (which is 100% normal even for couples in love) and so they procrastinate.

      In any case, marriage is a financial risk with no actual benefits. I.e. Marriage is stupid.

    • Unless your in the mod or a criminal of sorts who doesn't want said person to be called to testify against you in the court of law... then marriage may have it's benefits... but I can't think or any others.

  • maybe it is to keep the person from getting away. maybe they don't have enough money for a wedding or whatever and this is a promise that they are going to work until they get the money then they will get married

  • It's a tease, girl.

    • Oh no :'(

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    • It sounds like you've been engaged for a while. So I corrected myself & said "not in your case" to make you feel better.

    • Hahaha finally I see you make a mistake! I'm not engaged ;)

      I just get so annoyed when I see people say my fianc?...three years later lol

  • They might have some disagreements

    • 5 years later? Then why continue together?

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    • committed to each other lol. Its not empty promise,its a way to show that they aren't looking for someone else

    • Yet they stay in the "single" status.

What Girls Said 5

  • Yeah. Maybe they have their reasons, things coming up and getting in the way, but if someone's engaged, typically the idea is they're making a promise of marriage in the future. So, if you know you don't want to get married, but this 'engagement' goes on and on and your partner has no clue it's really going nowhere, that's very wrong in my mind. It's a false promise, and dishonest. Better to be upfront about what you want and don't want, so both people have their eyes wide open. If they still want to have the 'engaged' title after that, then that's up to them.

    My parents had a long engagement actually, like five years, but they were on the same page. It's just that in their culture you don't really do the whole boyfriend/girlfriend thing, so if they were together then the assumption is they're engaged/married. As for the length of it, apparently part of it was that they were apart for two years, studying/working in different countries. Also, my grandpa (mom's side) didn't approve since they were of different religions, and my mom didn't want to go ahead with it until he did. Took a while before he realized they were serious...

    • That's a very good point I was trying to make but I guess couldn't word out correctly lol. The couple needs to be on the same page. Otherwise it is in fact pointless.

    • But being on the same page is already being engaged no? How long did you date before wanting to pop the question?

  • Well I think it depends on so many things that will vary from each individual couple... for example the story Stacyzee shared in her answer clearly is a situation where its kind of pointless as it will most likely not progress. Even if it did, it most likely wouldn't last.

    Some people may get engaged just because they feel its what you're suppose to do.

    Some people might get engaged just to make their partner happy while its not really what they want. There may be other circumstances in their life delaying the marriage, like maybe they are trying to save money because they want a particular wedding... maybe they have family drama... there's just so many reasons.

    Then there are some people like me and my fiance lol. We have been engaged for awhile and don't have a date set for a wedding but we plan on spending the rest of our lives together. I personally feel that if you're going to hypothetically spend the rest of your life together, what's the rush? You want to make sure its right and what you truly want. People change over time so can you work things out for awhile before you make such a commitment?

    At this point I feel like we can work through anything because we took it slow. We've lived together first, we've been through struggles already with each other and our families and just everyday life... I'm proud to say I intend on spending the rest of my life with this man. Not just, "we're dating". We know what we want, we're just not in a rush to get there.

    Though I'm sure within the next year or so we'll be in a place where we're ready to get married.

    Like I said in the beginning though, I think this really varies with each couple and there's no definite answer. I understand what you're asking though and I do think its meaningless in such situations where its evident things won't be progressing.

    • Forever engaged... I just don't see why bother then, if y'all not taking the step to actually get married.

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    • I'm not disagreeing with you. All I can say is what I think from my own experience. Personally our reasons for waiting were because 1) We both wanted to take it slow and make sure it was right, which we have. Then 2) Problems with my family members. Which are starting to be mended which is why I said probably in the next year.

    • At the same time if you think about it, many things have become meaningless by their frivolous use like even saying, "I love you".

      I am not saying its right, but it is how many people are these days. We don't hold these things as highly as we used to. Marriage, saying I love you, sex... Its just not the same. Don't take this as I'm defending anything either. I'm just being the devil's advocate and trying to make some assumptions to answer your question of why some people do this.

  • Yes, I think couples should have a cut off year to how long they will keep their engagement.

    Someone told me about this woman that was engaged for 7 years and the man kept cheating on her with other women, and said "I will never marry her". They had 6 children together.

    • IKR. Specially young people get engaged so stupidly. I think people have forgotten what marriage is about.

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    • I will let you know in a few years Sr!

    • Invite me to your Stag and Doe!

      I'll help raise your weddings funds by way of alcohol poisoning. That is also a promise!

  • Yes I wonder too.

  • Who cares? Besides, maybe they're saving up