Found out ex got it normal to feel sad after 3 years of break up?

Me and him were broken up for past 3 years and we never contacted each other after the break up. I have moved on but I am still single and never dated anyone after him. I saw him few weeks back at the mall and I am pretty sure he saw me too but we acted like we never saw each other. Now that today I found out he's engaged I feel very sad and depressed. I have been crying I know I don't have any feelings for him but the girl he is engaged to went to my school and is really pretty. It's a shocker I never expected it for him to get hitched to her! is it that I am still single and he progressed in his life? Is it normal to feel sad even after so long? do I still love him? I am feeling rejected...

  • No
    Vote A
  • Yes
    Vote B
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Most Helpful Girl

  • Yes of course it is normal. The annoying thing I find is when people have to ask is what they are feeling 'normal'? Yes that is how you feel and you can't change that. If anyone ever makes you feel like you're stupid for feeling that way, don't listen to them. It is the way you deal with those feelings that is crucial.

    Now lets look at those feelings.

    3 years ago you broke up with a guy and have had no contact since.

    He got a new girlfriend and got engaged 3 years later.

    You have remained single since and I'm presuming from your reaction would like to get married some day.

    You aren't missing him or dwelling over him, you are feeling rejected not by him but by the world. You're trying to make sense as to why he is happy and progressing and you feel like you're not.

    Lets change the scenario. Say he was still single right now, would you miss him still? I doubt it. You just long for what he is having with someone.

    Everything happens for a reason, no maybe it isn't happening for you now, but it will.

    You're still young and fabulous. He was not the right guy for you, the right man is out there.

    Just think you could be sat there crying and somewhere some really nice man, is sat there waiting for you to come along.

    Now go embrace your singledom. I know we think being in a relationship and marriage is the ultimate be all and end all, but is it really? Yes they will have the excitement of the marriage and the honeymoon and all that, but trust me from the marriages I have seen it doesn't take long for all that crashing down and realisation to hit. Oh I'm with this person for the rest of my life, and I must spend everyday with them.

    Your day will come, just make sure you make a good choice. :)

    • Thank you! you literally put my feelings into words!:)

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What Guys Said 2

  • personally, I am relieved that an ex has found a permanent (hopefully) partner and will no longer resent me pinching her sister or having the waitress sit on my knee when we order dinner.

  • Obviously if you were dating someone fabulous and happy you wouldn't be sad to hear this news. You're projecting your feelings on inadequacy on the situation.


What Girls Said 5

  • one not to be harsh or anything but I'll say your living in denial if you think you don't have feelings for him. how to figure it out is simple you broke up three years ago, you haven't dated and you feel sad and depressed and you were crying seems to me like you still have feeling for your ex... you can change that if you want it's really up to you. get out of your shell for once do something spontenoues nothing crazy but something to get your mind off him and get a smile back on your face... you deserve better and don't let anyone tell you otherwise and never settle for less... your worth more than spending your time thinking about a man who seems like he has his life set...

    get over him there are so many fishes in the water take a dive and swim in it... think about it! you'll feel a hell of a lot better but trust sweetheart it ain't gonna be easy

  • I'm not sure that you don't have feelings for him if you feel so emotional about it. Maybe you feel that way because you think that because he's found someone important enough for him to marry you feel you should also be at that point in your life. It's important to keep in mind that everything happens to individual people in their own good time. Don't look at what he's doing and think "that should be where I'm at in my life too." You're not him.

  • I don't think you still love him because you didn't feel those feelings toward him before you found out he was engaged, right? I think maybe the reason these feelings are coming up is because it brings out your insecurity over your own situation. You mentioned that you haven't dated anyone since him and also said that you think she is pretty. Maybe a part of you just feels like maybe if you felt as pretty as you think she is, then you would be getting married to him instead of her.

    It's normal for people to size themselves up against partners' and former partners' past and present loves, and it's very easy to start feeling insecure or inadequate. Just know that your perception of her isn't absolute - maybe some people would think you're prettier. Also, your perception of what you think their relationship must be like in order for them to be getting married also may not be true. It's possible that they don't have as good of a relationship as you're imagining - bad relationships turn into marriages all the time. It's possible you have nothing to be insecure about at all! If I were you, I would focus on the good things about myself and start some new habits to improve myself. If you feel good about yourself, no one can make you feel bad, simply by being alive and living their own life. Good luck and take care!

  • I think naturally it is normal to feel a little disappointed because at one point he was an important part of your life. I don't think you will dwell on it for too long though.. He is happy and you deserve to feel the same way too :)

  • You still have feelings yes