My boyfriend's family is already planning our wedding. Not sure what's wrong?

And he's also mad at me for being so upset about that.

What went wrong there? Did he tell them lies or are they just really pushing? Did I give off the wrong impression?

I asked him about it and I guess I didn't phrase it very well, because he said "well what would be so outragous about being married to me?"

Nothing, I just don't that his family assumes we are. I don't want to get married just yet, I want to graduate first. But he's pissed now and I have no idea how to make it up to him. I don't think I'm wrong, he should have at least given me warning there.

don't know what he told his family, but we've no plans of getting married at this point, which makes it a bit early to pick the venue. I felt like I missed a few pages in our book

He took me to meet his family last weekend and well wow, I was overwhelmed in any possible way. They're loaded, the whole thing felt like Gossip Girl Texas version, including the cowboy hats. Quite obviously they high hopes and expectations for him, which I guess isn't generally wrong.

But jesus christ, I don't even know how to put it into words.

Like I was talking to his mom and she was like" So Evan tells me you're politically active, that's sure gonna come in handy when he runs for Senate" What? That's the first time I had ever heard of that. I'm not even sure he ever voted for anything. And yes I am politically active, but for the wrong party.

And when we had lunch at this fancy restaurant right by the lake his sister was like "It's a beautiful place here, it would be a good venue for your wedding"


Most Helpful Girl

  • I too don't think you've done anything wrong. I assume he's caught in the middle and maybe he got defensive for his family. If they're talking about Senate and he's never expressed those kinds of wishes in the eight months you have been together, its a safe bet to say the family is pushy. Even you said you're under the impression they have high expectations of him, so they may assume that since you've been together for as long as you have, its going to lead to marriage.

    Just talk to him about how you honestly feel and let him know you were shocked. That doesn't make it okay for him to be mad at you. He will propose when he's ready and since he hasn't there's really no point in fighting over it.


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What Guys Said 3

  • The same thing happened to me with an ex-girlfriend. I think it was a manipulative thing; like if she and her family told everyone we were getting married and started planning it, then I would just give in and ask her. Some families are like that. It's horrible, but it is what it is.

    There's also the chance that they're just kidding; some families are like that, too. It's a dumb way to joke around, but people do it. Either way, if you stay with this guy, it sounds like you're in for a fun life...

  • That's some sort of expensive have nothing to make up to him,rather,he owes you an explanation about WTH that is really going on...

  • how long have you been dating and has he even propsed?

    • We've been dating for a little over 8 months, and no he hasn't proposed, that's the point

    • 8 months, wtf..

      I know people together 4 years and they break up one day.. I would personally wait around 2 years.

      ShesSoSilly makes a very good point, it's just waaay too early though, especially without even a proposal to get engaged..

What Girls Said 2

  • i see why you would be freaked out. I think you need to have a calm chat with him.

  • none of this is your fault, you shouldn't try to make anyone feel better when you're uncomfortable with people stepping into your personal life.

    • you know his family would entitled to be part of it, if there was anything to be part of, but there's not