Are you happy to change your surname?

Are you happy to change your surname to your husband's/wife's when you get married?

Do you want your future husband/wife to take your name when you get married?

What if you have a one of a kind surname that belongs to your immediate family only?

What if the people in the country you live if have problems pronouncing/ spelling your surname?

What if your surname is clearly foreign and it creates prejudice?

Updates:
Mine is one of a kind. My family is quite small and I only have two sisters (i.e. no men to carry on the name in a traditional sense). My surname is clearly foreign and English speakers have a problem pronouncing it. I don't know if it causes prejudice (most wouldn't know where it's from) but I'm always asked for my work VISA when seeking employment.

My partner has a VERY common English name, and will not take my name. What is your advice? What would you do if you were in my position?

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Most Helpful Girl

  • My surname is awesome and I am very attached to it. I identify quite strongly with it, actually. It's one of those that only my family has. At the moment, I'm not sure if I'll change it, keep it, or hyphenate it. Good thing marriage is a few years away yet.

    My boyfriend would want me to take his name if we got married but I'm not quite so sure how I feel about that.

    Logically my changed name would not make me any less a part of my family, but my name just flows so well together it'd be a down right shame to mess that up.

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What Guys Said 2

  • I'm a fanatic about it. She'd take my name or no deal. And none of that hyphenated crap everyone's doing these days. She drops her surname and adopts mines.

    Why? because in backwards land, a place where I would want marriage, that would also be a place where I'd want children. And THAT is why I'd be a fanatic about her having my last name.

    And any kid I bring into this world (with intent of course...) is going to have my surname. That's a fact. And everyone knows no man is ever going to win that argument if there's an option. Her name or yours for the kids? it's going to be hers...

    preemptive strike! the battle that wins the war :)

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    • I just thought of a joke but I think there are far to many Americans on here for me to get away with it... hint hint :)

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    • I respect your views and all and I understand where you're coming from, but couldn't your kids just have your name and not her? Isn't that the point you're stating.. that you want your kids to have your name?

    • If she's stubborn enough to fight and keep her name, she's going to be impossible when it comes time to filling out the child's birth certificate :)

  • I will not marry a woman who won't take my name. I say that not because I care about her having my name, but rather because of what that decision says about her values and priorities.

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What Girls Said 8

  • I will be taking my fiance's last name. We both have unique ones and I have grown to love mine but I don't want to have different ones. I also think both of them are difficult for people to pronounce and spell so that's not going to be anything new to me lol.

    I don't think either would create prejudice but if I were in that position I would still take it and just be proud. People everywhere are judging everyone for everything all of the time, so you cannot let negative opinions run your life.

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  • Meh I have mixed emotions about it cause I really like my surname and my dad's side of the family isn't large so I want to sort of keep the legacy on but then again my surname is really really long so it would sound weird to hyphenate it or make it part of my name. My surname is very foreign sounding though but I don't think it creates any weird prejudices. I'm used to English people not getting it right or struggling with it and that's not really a problem to me. Same with my name. English people can't always get my first name right so I just say call me Lee. I'm so used to it by now. But at the end, I'll want to take my future husband's name. I wouldn't be "happy" about it but it's one of those things that I'll just do and probably be sad about for 5 secs and then be happy to share a surname with my partner =)

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  • I love my name and am proud of my heritage. It is clearly foreign and I always have to spell it for people but I could care less if people have issues with it. I won't change my name because there are no boys to pass it on; I'd hyphenate it or hope he'd be open to taking mine.

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    • @update, how strongly do you feel about keeping your surname? You haven't said. I'm assuming it's important to you to keep it, but just how strongly? Would your boyfriend consider hyphenating them? If not, rate on a scale of 1-10 just how strongly you feel about it. Then have him do the same about his name. Compare numbers; if one is on the lower end vs. the higher end, the lower end person should compromise. If not, why don't you both just keep your names as they are? Some people do.

  • No, my whole business identity is based off of my name and initials. :o

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  • I don't really care either way. If it meant a lot to him I'd do it. The amount of paperwork and phonecalls would be a pain in the butt.

    I do love my surname though.

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  • I will definitely be taking my husband's name. :)

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  • YES without a doubt.

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  • I'm happy to change my last name. I'm traditional in that sense that I think I should and wouldn't mind doing it.

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