I have been dating a guy for a little over a year. He is 46 and I am 35. I have an issue however that recently came up about 4 months ago. I found out that 3 years ago he had been with a minor. Someone who was 15. He swears to me that they did not have sex however he saw her more than one time. I feel so confused. It really bother me because I had been molested as minor and raped and it just feels so different now when I am with him. We have been thinking about marriage and I am not sure if this is something I want to do. What makes this situation difficult is that. Prior to me finding this out I was very much in love with him. I am still in love just the situation got sticky. I do not know if I should let it go? He was very embarrassed when I found out and cried and said it was something he could not just bring up to me. I judge everything he does now and watch him like a hawk. I don’t want to live my life like this. This is a subject I refuse to tell my friends or family because I do not want them to view him any differently. I am unsure if I am feeling like this because it’s fairly new? CONFUSED! And just a side note…I have never in my life been treated any better than with him. So it makes it that much tougher.
Most Helpful Girl
I would love to say let the past be the past and move on... because that's when you do when you find out about the past. But that's when finding out about the past is finding out that he got a hooker or had an orgy.
He dated a child. I was molested as a child too. I hate that guy. And I knew his wife didn't know, but I always wondered how she could love someone who was so terrible.
I couldn't do it if I were you. He would always be gross to me. Everyone makes mistakes, but he dated a child. All I can think about is my sister. I could never date someone who was with someone my 14 year old sisters age. And I am only 20. It's just too damn weird.
I guess you'll just have to decide if it's something you can get over. If it's something you want to get over. Is it worth it to you? Don't even discuss the marriage aspect of the relationship until the current issue is resolved. I don't know if you have kids or if you are planning to have kids but wouldn't that always be in the back of your mind? Around your neices and nephews? Around cousins? Around your friends' children? It IS a big deal. You just need to decide if it's something you can look passed.1