Marriage will ruin the image of sex for me?

I am almost dreading getting married in regards to sex. Since I am waiting until marriage when I date sex is this big mysterious and coveted thing. (I date men with the same sentiment) but once I am married I am afraid it will get old. The abstinence is almost more thrilling than sex haha. For those married, has your sex life gotten stale? I'm sure it changes from before, but is it necessarily bad?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • I'm not married but I can offer you insight. Studies have found that married men and women in their 30s have much better all-around sex than do younger, single people in their 20s. Why? Well men and women both tend to have a deeper understanding of themselves and their sexuality in their 30s, especially women. Second, people who are married are very comfortable with each other and know each other profoundly well on all levels and are not afraid to share and delve into their fantasies with each other. All this leads to better intimacy and different, unique ways or amplifying it. Don't fear and I commend you for your decision to wait, wish more girls had morals like you :)

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What Guys Said 4

  • Of course it get's stale if you always have sex with the same person...that's why you gotta try new things when it does...and you will...and not bashing on you waiting...I think if that's what you want then there's nothing wrong with that...but when you do you're probably gonna wonder why the hell you did

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  • I know exactly what you mean. I don't say this in a self-serving way, or out of vanity, but I am very good at sex and even I fear this. I say that because I don't think it has to do with being "good" or "bad."

    Even if it were your favorite ice cream in the world, if you had it too much you'd grow tired. You can change your moves up, but you're still the same person. Me and guy X could do the exact same stroking motion, but it would 'feel' different.

    It's like the piano. The way I strike the key and the way another person does can never be the same. This is due to our differing skeletal structures, muscle incorporation, speed, twitch fibers, weight, and 'millions' of other factors that cause a different sound.

    With that being said, I think it's only appropriate people stop lusting each other. The "fire" dying in a relation, or sex life. Therefore, they may begin fantasizing about others, which I think is wrong.

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  • Married sex life can be made just as fulfilling as dating sex life just look at examples of dating sex life applied to monogamy

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    • I see just being with someone for a long time as getting jaded and used to each other. Does this happen? The longest I've dated someone was two years and we didn't have sex. I'm very young so it's not a pressing issue but I was wondering about it

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    • How about go back to where you first fell in love or maybe go places and do things you will love more often those are just some suggestions I have

    • Yeah. I'll let you know how that goes for me hopefully in five to ten years haha

  • Unless you have sex to strengthen a relationship, your true desires will be a blanket of the unknown because marriage will have so much going on that the time to expore each other and get to communicate sexually will be something that is done on occasions, which could eventually cause problems that are often solved in the bedroom,x

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What Girls Said 1

  • It's really weird how people claim sex after marriage becomes either stale or non-existent.

    It's not like a stamp in your passport or wearing a white dress for a day affect anything. You're still the same people, so it sounds very odd to me.

    Obviously, it's up to you if you wish to stay abstinent until marriage. But I personally find it foolish to do so, as you'll have no idea what sex will be like after that. For all we know it could be great, but way too often it ends up being extremely shit, since you guys could be completely incompatible. And this is coming from someone, who wanted to wait until marriage, but eventually realized sex wasn't this amazing thing to be worshiped as I lead myself to believe.

    Boy oh boy, was my first time an eye-opener. On that day I realized just how important finding a sexually compatible partner is. The type, that would care about your sexual needs and respect your boundaries. You can meet the best most sweetest guy out there, but there's never a sure guarantee he'll be like that in bed.

    Again, I'm not trying to "convert" you. Just my two cents.

    I personally don't believe marriage itself ruins sex, but people do. If you have sex with the same person for a long time, it CAN get boring after awhile and marriage has nothing to do with it. It's up to you two to figure out how to keep your bed on fire. You will find that long term couples break up all the time and sometimes you wonder why, since they were so madly in love and seemed perfect together. Often the sex gets boring and either or both of the parties just don't want to bother addressing the issue.

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    • Why does it matter? It's like never seriously dating because there will always be a better guy, sex, like dating, is the quality of the relationship, and I base quality on the person not the performance

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    • That seems like a selfish based relationship. It's not about his or my needs. It's about our needs once we are married. It's about working things out not conforming to each other. At least that is how my marriage will be.

    • How is reciprocation selfish?

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