Instead of conceiving a child with my future wife, who ever that may be, I've always been in favor of adoption instead. I made up my mind just a few years ago that this was indefinitely what I would like to do, but I wonder how other women feel about this.
I know it would not be mine, or my wife's flesh and blood, but there are so many abandoned children out there. They need people's help, and somebody has to stand up and take the initiative to give them a family. I'd like to be that person some day.
So how do you girls feel about this? Will I struggle to find someone who agrees with me? Or is this something most of you are open to?
Second, I can see the desire for a woman to want to give birth, at least one time, and I think if I was a woman I may feel the same way. I wouldn't like the idea of robbing her from that experience either, if that was what she wanted. I would be willing to compromise if that were the case.
Most Helpful Girl
As an adopted child I have to make a stand and say, really think it through thoroughly before. Adopted children are known to have more issues than biological even ones adopted from birth. They tend to lash out more, do drugs, get pregnant as teens, have depression, and have a hard time in school. Both me and another adopted kid I know moved out of our homes two years ago because of how miserable we were there. It's hard for some people and they feel like they made a mistake adopting the child and the child can sense that. I hated the fact I was adopted, especially because my birth parents are both very good people. I am at peace with it now but I'm very precarious regarding adoption.
I think these children need homes, they need a loving family. But they need an UNCONDITIONALLY loving family regardless of how much trouble they give you. They owe you nothing for you taking them in. If you think you're a savior of some sort for doing so, don't adopt because you're not cut out for it. It's a hard road, sometimes it's pleasant and works out nicely, but many times its a lot of work and not very gratifying until the very end. That's my take on adoption.
I also recommend not hiding it from your child. And letting them at least know their parents medical history. It comes in handy so much in life I can't even tell you.
Be cautious and be ready for hardship. I think if you have a truly charitable character you would find it gratifying though14
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