Why do feminists look down on 'submissive' women?

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Candace Cameron (DJ from Full House!) said she's submissive and let's her husband take charge, cause she wants a happy marriage.

But reading the comments in the article, feminists seem to frown upon a woman taking charge and making her own decisions for herself and her family. Why is this? I thought feminists were all about female empowerment?

Ex:

"In other words, she lets him boss her around?"

"f that's what works for them then great. Although it just seems to me that she can't make her own decisions, which definitely is not 'bridled strength', it's pathetic."

^These comments were from the UK & Australia so it's not only American women who hold these views.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • "Real", original feminism was about equality in CHOICE and equality in RESPECT for women, but Radical Feminists (RadFems) hijacked the movement and taught women that choosing to be submissive, or choosing to be a housewife instead of having a career outside the home was not only NOT a valid choice, but made you a "traitor to your gender" and that only women who acted like men and proved that they could do everything a man could do were moral and right.

    And even though they haven't been FULLY successful with these ideas, there are plenty of women who now think that way, ESPECIALLY women in collage or just out of college, because the Women's Studies programs have been completely taken over by RadFems. RadFems make up nearly every Women's Studies professor, and naturally are the biggest student proponents.

    Most women who live in the real world figure out that RadFem is crap by their late 20s or early 30s, but women who live in academic or artistic (or just liberal/socialist) bubbles often champion these ideas into their 40s, and they tend to be loud and "in-your-face" about it. Even though RadFem is a very minority opinion, they are so "loud" as a group that they manage to make their views seem a lot more mainstream than they actually are. And younger people, who have less real-world experience, often fall for it, at least until the real world proves those ideas to be false.

    Again, REAL feminism is about giving women the CHOiCE to choose their own path. And just as it is perfectly okay for women to CHOOSE a career, it's also perfectly okay to CHOOSE to be a mother and a home-maker. RadFems do not want women to have that option, though.

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    • Equality feminism came after radical feminism, doofus. "Original" feminism was a discourse within Anarchy

What Guys Said 6

  • Because feminists want to take women out of one cage and put them in a cage of their own making. Feminists don't really want freedom for women. Feminists want to dictate what other women do rather than let them make their own choices in life. A woman shouldn't have to check if their life choices are on the "approval list" dictated by feminists. If a woman chooses a more traditional role, that's HER choice.

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  • The feminist movement of today is not the women's suffrage movement of the early 1900s, it is now an anti-male movement that is not interested in equality (since they're now equal to men in every way and even have advantages over men in some cases), they're interested in supremacy.

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  • A lot of feminists seem to want to eliminate gender norms, even though they can sometimes make us happy and they'll always be with us. They're in our genes at some levels. Anyway, a better goal would be for gender norms to be acknowledged, but not enforced. It's more realistic that way. Some families have a male leader. Some a female. All families have someone who takes on the role of alpha when needed though. It shouldn't be a big deal.

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  • e said she's meek, not submissive. There's a difference

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  • They've been brainwashed into believing that traditional gender roles are oppressive to women, and that patriarchy is a system designed by men to benefit men over women rather than simple human nature. You only have to look at the rapid popularity of 50 Shades to realize that male dom/female sub is a common fantasy/desire, despite all efforts to convince women that they shouldn't enjoy male authority.

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  • Men are naturally dominant and women are naturally submissive. There are exceptions but the rule holds true. The problem is that feminism has taught women they can have a strong, masculine man who will be happy and satisfied not being dominant in a relationship. Sorry ladies...you can't have it both ways. Nature will win out every time.

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What Girls Said 6

  • Hahaha I like how one person said, "I bet she dominates the bedroom. […] Crack that whip, girl!"

    Anywho, I find it funny that so many people were bashing her "submissiveness." Who cares what she decides to do with her life and marriage? If she's happy and it works for her, that's all that matters.

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  • Mmm... Yeah there is a lot of this. Have you ever heard of the British comedian Jo Brand? She talks about how she used to hang out with radical feminists, & when she got married to a man a lot of them totally broke ties with her & were disgusted with her, saying she was Betraying the Sisterhood. This is a thing that happens! Mostly in radical feminist circles. There are a lot of... creepy things about radical feminism that I do not like and which scare me a lot, which go a lot deeper than this.

    But yeah ultimately there are a lot of feminists who spend more time policing other women than resisting patriarchy. (One of the most insidious and evil of these types is Cathy Brennan who for several years ran an organisation which systematically rooted out trans women, outed them to their employers - getting them fired - making their address, phone number and medical details publically available, and harassing them) These women are awful.

    As for Candace wanting to do whatever with her husband - well, it is for me to judge what hets want to do with their life! What's that old phrase? I don't agree with their lifestyle but, whatever ;)

    Nah I'm kidding. I have heard so much nonsense from bad feminists talking about how submissive women are not real feminists or whatever. And it's crap... That being said, I reject the kind of crude claim that because she wants to be in a subservient role it's empowering. She's performing heteropatriarchy - I mean lets not forget that. She's not resisting heteropatriarchy, she's just happy enough with it. But there's no reason to get viscous with her about it because whether she enjoys the arrangement or not she isn't the one with the power in this situation! And this is my problem with feminists like that, you know... They police other women instead of supporting them, & as such, just collaborate with the power structure, ultimately, they don't work against it...

    Anyway, yeah. This is a big thing in feminism which is a big problem & it has fairly extreme manifestations, much worse ones than clueless straight women yelling at clueless straight women.

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    • "broke ties with her and were disgusted with her saying she was betraying the sisterhood"

      That's craziness! Definitely creeps me out. It's like a feminist cult.

    • oh yeah. There is so much abusiveness in those communities

  • The people who responded negatively to that article, in my opinion, are part of that whole 'radical feminist' league. The ones who get angry any time anyone ever says there's a difference between men and women. A lot of radical feminists see a woman who likes to be submissive as weaker and an overall detriment to the whole cause. Needless to say, that is not the case, and the preferences of one woman or couple will not destroy an entire movement.

    The term feminism has been given a negative connotation, not because Feminism is wrong, but because some so-called feminists are. Don't get me wrong. I'm a feminist, I believe in equality for both genders - that doesn't mean that I think both genders should share all the work, it means that I think both men and women should have the equal opportunity to work, and that couples of any sexual orientation should have the choice to decide what works best for them.

    Most feminists share those views, while radical feminists typically hold the view of 'men and women are exactly the same - end of story - and if any woman likes acting in the traditional role of women, she is wrong, archaic, misogynistic'.

    The feminist movement has evolved from something of 'freedom of choice for both genders' to 'both genders are - and should always act - the same'.

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  • It is okay to be submissive but I think a woman has to be smart enough to make sure it's a loving respectful environment because some men want submissive women for bad reasons. So if the guy isn't an abusive control freak, it should be fine.

    Every time I tried being a little more submissive, I can't say that I was treated better/well for it, so then of course you question it because it is isn't worth it. In other words, had I met the right man I'd love to have someone take charge, it's just that most want to take charge/be in control but in a half-assed way.

    Wanna be in charge? Support me, and pay the bills, but don't expect me to give up control if you aren't willing to assume those burdens. I mean a lot of guys want you to be submissive, but not necessarily on fair terms that might actually benefit YOU. That's just selfish and insecure.

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  • They forget that having a choice also means that you can choose to remain in the same old gender roles. Those women do not want it, so it seems unfathomable to them that a woman who has a choice would choose something completely opposite of them. That's how it is with most radical opinions. The people who hold them cannot imagine how someone would have another opinion about it.

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  • It's not 'feminists', it's 'people', and most people do not share the same views about everything.

    There are enough people in this world for every view point to have enough people who subscribe to a particular viewpoint that it seems like a majority from our own narrow experiences.

    Those people who answered the comments just happened to hold those ideas.

    Plus it's fairly obvious that, that article is written in a way to get a rise out of feminists.

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