Falling out of love with my husband....

Me and my husband are newlyweds and just had a baby boy. Before we got married he had cheated not physically but emotionally, he would lie but then changed and tried proving me that he will. Then we got married when I was 2 months pregnant, now we had a lot of sex before then when we got married it completely stopped like I had to force him to have sex. I also caught him looking at nude pictures. ( yes I know some people that's OK but how I was raised its not.) He felt super bad and had stopped. Everything that has gone on he has proven me a lot but because of so much that happened I now feel out of love with him. He says I'm beautiful rarely and he just made me feel so unattractive while pregnant. And now that I'm not I just feel disgusted about myself and towards him. I know this is bad but I start to think about how he was with past relationships or girls and with me I just feel like I'm unattractive and just someone he settled with. What do I do?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • I am not sure of the term women go through after pregnancy that brings them down. I just know it is a real thing. So that is contributing to the fact but not entirely.

    Women are to be respected and adored especially since you shared in a beautiful gift. I would bring up to him in a calm mature manner of what you are feeling. Make sure he is in for a respectable undistracted calm conversation. It will be up to you to maintain and set the mood for this type of "Family Meeting" There are rules to this. not raising the voices. and no running away . and no interrupting while the other is speaking.

    Be prepared he will have some issues with you too.

    You must work as a responsible couple. there is someone very special now involved and it is going to take a lot of courage to force this to work . Keep in mind that there ate way too many broken homes and this doesn't have to add to the list.

    good luck, I'm guessing you probably won't do this but it will help if you do.

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What Guys Said 3

  • Couple's therapy; if you don't want to do that, then list the good that he does, and what you like about him?

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  • Why do you live your life by how you were raised? Reject absurd, baseless traditions like the ones you've indicated.

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    • If get a women pregnant it is your obligation as man and father to provide for that child and mother and marry them so that you can give them a house and roof. If you are stupid enough to get a women pregnant before marriage that is the least you can do there is nothing baseless or absurd about that.

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    • Lack of sex is a problem that causes staleness in relationships, but making him feel bad for masturbating to p*rn is not conducive to him having sex with you.

    • I caught him with p*rn while he wasn't having sex with me not whwn our sex life was good. As for other women as in flirting with ex girlfriends

  • serp777 is right about you coming off as controlling. That may not be the case, but it was the only example you gave that really gives us any details into your relationship.

    Whether or not you are okay with p*rn is irrelevant. It has nothing to do with you. If you are trying to control his private time, chances are you are acting controlling in other areas as well and you may not even realize it. A woman being controlling will suck the life out of the guy, and make him regret marrying her. I can promise you, he did not feel super bad about looking at nude pictures. He felt super bad that you were upset with him. You are pushing your views and beliefs onto him.

    I am sure this marriage has worse problems than your not wanting him to look at p*rn. Most likely both of you are making some pretty bad choices. I would suggest trying to work on communication, and compromise. Like have him leave his p*rn somewhere you won't see it. This would show you respect his space, and he would be respectful by not flaunting it in your face, since he would know it makes you uncomfortable.

    Since I don't know the details about how he made you feel unattractive, I can't really say much about that. A lot of that may have been your hormones pushing him away, or he may have just been a jerk. Either way you aren't pregnant now, so hopefully you can just move past that phase.

    You may want to talk to a marriage counselor, but you both need to be honest with yourselves, because one person is rarely to blame for everything. Even if he is wrong 70% of the time, it is important that you work on the 30% when you are to blame. If you want to fix the relationship, it isn't going to be all about how to get him to change. Both of you are going to have to put in the work, and be willing to compromise, if you want to save the relationship.

    Another possibility is that it might not have anything to do with your not being in love with him anymore. What you thought was love, may have just been infatuation. Infatuation is very powerful, but does not last. If that is the case you need to figure out if you can learn to love him for real, or do you need the infatuation in order to be happy.

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    • So its OK for him not to have sex with me and just watch p*rn?

    • I never said that.

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