Living together before marriage is useful or useless?

The true love can overcome the difficulties and misunderstandings of living together or a good and happy cohabitation is a fundamental requirement to think about a future together (maybe even a wedding)?


0|0
12|4

Most Helpful Girl

  • While there are studies that draw correlation between living together before marriage and divorce rates they don't take into account the other factors in the situation. I don't believe that simply living together is a causation all on it's own.

    I would never marry someone unless I had lived with them before. Living together isn't easy- it's very, very difficult and in a lot of little ways that you wouldn't expect, either. Do you both know how to find alone time while in the same house or same room, do you know HOW to live with another person, are you good at splitting duties like cleaning and shopping, do you both have the same expectations for the house, how about TV time and all that stuff? It's surprisingly complex.

    I think that the biggest reason most marriages fail is lack of communication, or not understanding how to communicate properly or what you need to communicate about. And you need to start that communication right away, before engagement, before moving in, before even thinking about getting serious with each other.

    2|0
    0|0
    • but is fair or normal that simple communication problems lead to the separation of a couple that loves eachothers? or maybe these problems are as a kind of test to see if the couple is really in love or they are ready to be separated at the first difficulty?

What Girls Said 11

  • I will never move in with a guy unless we are married.. I did it once before and I just don't see the point in marriage if you already given the other person a free ride without that commitment. And for those who say it's important to live together first ... well, you can always keep separate addresses and spend a large amount of time at each others home first.. you don't actually have to give up your homes before marriage. They say.. "why buy the cow when you get the milk for free" ... and I believe that saying fits this occasion lol

    2|3
    2|1
  • I think it's very useful, because you get to know your partner better and get to see whether the two of you are compatible, if you actually know how to compromise and live comfortably together.

    I know far too many couples, who were happily in love for over 5 years until they got married, moved in together and BAM, divorce in less than a year. Some didn't even last 2 months.

    2|2
    0|0
  • It's useful. But I think people should only move in when they're seriously committed to moving the relationship forward. I've been living with my fiance for about a year now and we are getting married in December of this year. I'm so glad we decided to move in together because we have worked out differences and compromised on how we live (like routines and habits, etc). I think that would be very hard to do as newlyweds. You're adjusting to being married while also adjusting and figuring out how to live with someone you never lived with before. That's when you really get to know a person, and I think that could be hard during the early stages of marriage.

    I'm not saying that everyone should move in together before getting married, but I think people often romanticize what it's like to live with their SO. If living together doesn't work out, that will hurt your relationship. So it's better to find out if you're compatible before you have to hire divorce lawyers.

    0|0
    0|0
  • I think it is very useful to live together before marriage. It will brings out both people's good and bad traits out and honestly, it is like a pre-marriage test in my opinion. If you can do that, then you can get married.

    3|1
    0|1
  • I wouldn't marry a guy unless I've lived with him first. Living together gives you a much better idea of what you're getting yourself into than just dating the person. If I didn't live with my ex first I just might have married him and that would've been a huge mistake.

    2|0
    0|0
  • That's very useful. That's a good idea. You would get to know each other better than you did before.

    2|0
    0|0
  • In my country, living tgether before marriage is not acceptable. I'm not against it, I think it'll helppeople know more about each other.

    0|0
    0|0
  • I don't think love has much to do with it. It's about compatibility and communication and emotion strategies

    0|0
    0|1
    • so you think that if is Real Love all these points can be overtaken?

    • I don't know what you mean. You can love someone and still yell at each other and feel uncomfortable living with them if you don't have management strategies

  • I'm thinking the same thing...I would say that moving into together before marriage is useful - as long as its done for a short time. those people who go 7 years living together and no marriage - ain't getting married...

    1|0
    0|0
  • You have to test drive the car before you buy it right?

    1|0
    0|0
  • i donut think it's a good idea if you are serious about each other

    0|0
    4|1

What Guys Said 4

  • Known so many friends who avoided bad marriages by living together first. Discovered they were just completely non-compatible living with their partner.

    There are certain aspects of the relationship you cannot explore unless you live together. It is not for everyone but it is certainly for me. Gave me all of these new aspects to love about that special someone.

    3|1
    0|0
    • but I speak of true love .. that feeling for which you can not imagine your life without the other person .. if there is this feeling, what is the meaning of test the relationship with the cohabitation? how can you leave each other for quarrels or misunderstandings about the home life? the desire to be together should not be stronger than everything?

    • I agree with you, people in love should def work on their issues. But seriously those issues at home will eat away at that love and can make people miserable. If that couple had a child, why would a child want to live in such a dysfunctional household.

      Hate to break it to you, but you don't fully know someone until you live with them. There are things you will find out, and your opinion of that person for better or worse. It is just part of the maturation process of a relationship.

  • I wouldn't live with someone unless you were extremely close to marriage (engaged at least). I did it for a few months, it was helpful in some ways.

    1|0
    0|0
  • How else are you supposed to know what its like being with them 24/7?

    They say you never really know somebody until you have lived with them.

    That's when you will see them at there worst at times. If you can handle that and still want to spend the rest of your life with them. Then your ready to get married.

    I think the whole not living together before marriage rule is an outdated Religious custom.

    2|0
    0|1
  • I don't think it's very useful if you're looking for the marriage to last. Divorce rates for cohabiting couples who then get married balloons much higher than the standard divorce rate.

    0|0
    1|0
Loading...