My husband think he can't provide for us?

It really isn't true. Do a lot of men feel like that? What to tell him?

We met 2 years ago in Bulgaria. Mt home country, he was stationed there and a few months ago we had to move to back to the US.
Well the way the economy is, we could afford a lot more from his salary back home than we can here. But we still have enough, by far.

It's the most than we've ever had actually. Before we got married, my brother and I lived in a place with no heat or electricity
The house we have now is nice more than enough for three people. Yet whenever a friend buys something new he keeps saying he feels sorry that we can't afford that and he feels he can't provide for us.

I don't know what to say, I thought it was different in America? That it doesn't matter so much. We're more than fine, I keep saying that, but he doesn't care.
And well I was almost done with nursing school in Bulgaria so sooner or later I'll bring in money too, so he really don't need to worry about it


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What Guys Said 2

  • "So far it seems he is thinking about "nicer" things: a "better" car, a "better" tv, etc. But you have lived where things are different and what we see here as not great is seen there as pretty great. After you have been here a while, you will tend to want things a little better also. It is just human nature.

    Later, more important things come into play, and he may not be able to adequately provide for you. Medical insurance is getting ridiculously expensive. The cost of raising children is bankrupting people. And housing for a larger family is expensive.

    I hope that most of the education you received in Bulgaria is transferable to here so that you can finish school quickly and without too much expense. These days families need two income earners. Good luck.

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    • well the army provides free housing, health care and some other discounts. And his salary is more than enough for food, so we'll always have the basics covered

      We also already bought a lot of stuff in Bulgaria because we could afford it we got free shipping.

      About school I'm not so sure. My brother had to repeat a yer here in middle school and nurses in Bulgaria don't go to University they just learn everything in a hospital right away

    • Show All
    • Recruiters used to promise fee health care for life for retirees & families. NOT TRUE. Eligible people can use military health facilities on a "space available" basis. Cutbacks have reduced space available to about zero. Active duty dependents and retirees & dependents must use Tricare which dumps cost on you. Once eligible for Medicare (age 65), it shifts to Tricare for Life. Better than nothing, but there are deductibles, caps, etc. so it costs a fair amount.

    • Dependent dental care is zero, other than space available, which is back to zero. There is dental insurance available, but you pay for it and there are lots of added costs. (My last post should read "promise free health care.) Benefits are better than nothing, but not free. See usmilitary.about.com/.../recruiter12.htm

  • The key thing you should pick up on is how your friend got something and now he is discouraged he don't have it. This is something I see women doing all the time especially if a friend gets married, suddenly the girl rushes into marriages with some random guy. He's comparing his success to the success of others but not realizing that these people may not actually be owning what they get. A person can live in a house but have bill collectors on his ass 24/7. We don't know what goes on.

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