Does a traditional 1950's lifestyle/marriage appeal to you at all?

What aspects of a typical 1950's marriage/family/lifestyle do you admire?

When I think of a traditional, typical 1950's marriage, I think of the man working outside the home and taking the lead on decision making, and the woman taking care of the home and food and kids

  • Yes. What appeals to me is..
    41% (31)52% (25)45% (56)Vote
  • No. This is what appeals to me instead..
    59% (45)48% (23)55% (68)Vote
And you are? I'm a GirlI'm a Guy
Updates:
I just want to say I appreciate the general tolerance and acceptance of the answers regarding lifestyle choices here
Also, being an early childhood educator I have to say that there are some great daycare workers who care A LOT about child development and their wellness. Putting your children in daycare doesn't mean you're opting out of raising your babies..

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Most Helpful Girl

  • I don't think its for me. But many times it does appeal to me.

    It makes things simpler. And I won't have to deal with the shit from people at work. At home I can stay in comfy cloathes and organize the house work my way. It will also give me time to cook healthy.

    Its also better for the children when one parent is at home taking care of their needs. The 1950s household was more stable and family oriented.

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    • I hear you. I'm really looking forward to getting into healthy cooking

What Guys Said 24

  • I have no problem with that. Around where I live that's not something from the 50s, it still exists to a large degree. I'd guess around half of the younger couples with kids have stay-at-home housewives.

    I have no problem with the wife working either. BUT if there are kids I'm against both parents working full time until the kids are grown a bit more.

    I guess I'm an old fashioned type and believe the man has the primary responsibility to be the breadwinner. Even if the wife works, it's still his ultimate responsibility to provide for his family. That's called being a man. At the same time I think the woman has primary responsibility to care for the kids. As far as chores around the house, that should be divided however works out and is fair.

    As far as decision making, I think the man should have the final decision, but has to make those decisions more as a neutral third party taking into account all sides - in other words, totally NOT being bossy or deciding things to his own advantage or for personal reasons. If a man gets bossy and selfish, that's being an asshole, not a man.

    Don't get me wrong. I don't think that should be forced on people. I think couples should work out what works best for them. Even for myself I have a lot of flexibility, so it's more of a starting point.

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  • While it's not something I "need" or am specifically looking for, I'd be fine with this arrangement, even though it meant I was the sole provider. Having someone take care of my "domestic" tasks while I work outside the home would be a reasonable division of labor.

    I have no problem with both people working and splitting the work at home either - again, it's a reasonable division of labor. I've lived alone for many years (either single or dating when she hadn't move in), and I'm perfectly capable of handling domestic duties myself, and I don't think lower of anyone who does those things.

    But different girls want different things. A few girls I've dated definitely preferred the more traditional relationship - I paid for stuff, but she did the majority of the domestic stuff - her preference. Others have preferred 50/50, and some 75/25 (she worked part-time and did a greater share of the domestic duties).

    As long as the division of labor is reasonably equal, and she's happy, then I'm happy.

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  • If God intends me to have that, he'll see to it that happens. If I'm meant for something else, I'll have something else. I don't see myself getting a pet though. I'm not big on animals.

    Even so, the 50s family model was the template more or less for a family unit all throughout American history until LBJ sabotaged it by seducing women with the Government Sugardaddy.

    Since then, I've seen a lot of Cultural Marxist brainwash rear its ugly head into the arena of pop culture, going out of its way to demonize the Ma-and-apple-pie model and father-knows-best format. The hatred I've seen towards that model is absurd and far beyond justification, especially when far more dysfunctional models are recommended as its replacement.

    A lot of this comes down to the Doctrine of Headship, which is one of the least understood parts of the Bible. Yes, the father is supposed to be the spiritual leader - assuming he has demonstrated himself fit for the role - and he's supposed to be the primary decision maker. But he's expected to factor the wife's needs and desires into every decision he makes, and not make any without consulting her. At the same time, she is supposed to think before she starts a mutiny.

    Michele Bachmann once said it's primarily about mutual respect. Of course, she's Michele Bachmann, so the lie-and-deny squad of traditional family-hating left pulled out the long knives to deny that this is what the Bible teaches, citing fruitcake men who are controlling animals and insisting that is what is meant, regardless what the plain words of the Epistles say otherwise.

    When headship is properly understood, the two function as one with minimal conflict and with a noticed absence of abuse and controlling behavior on either end. It's a tall order for both. By design. As for the kids... I'd be expected to help them find meaningful and useful goals; but to above all support them when the find such goals.

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  • It's a tough question. At the moment we have no choice but to have both of us at work. My only problem with that is that I'd rather one of us take care of our kids, I don't understand career couples who have kids they never see because they're at work all the time, so they rely on nannies/child minders to look after their kids. It seems pointless to have kids if you're gonna have strangers raise them rather than yourself. My gf works part-time though so it's all good.

    So yeah, kids would be my.only reason for supporting my gf staying at home if she really needed to. If not, I don't see why I should have to work my fingers to the bone to provide for someone who does all the easy work at home. I think a lot of people exaggerate the difficulty of being a housewife (or househusband). I can finish all the housework in an hour - 2 hours tops, and its all just turning a few dials on a few machines.

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  • Honestly I'd probably only want to take the lead on decision making if I felt her intellect was pretty low which caused me to question listening to her about important decisions. I may not really want to be with her in the first place though if that was the case. I wouldn't have a problem with her staying at home if we were comfortable that way financially. If she was happy doing that I'd be one hundred percent fine with it. I would just be a little surprised she wouldn't feel bored. I have a feeling I'll be supporting a girl at some point though.

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    • What about if she just felt more comfortable leaving the decision making to you because she trusts you?

  • Look at that split! At least when I'm making this comment the polls are pretty much 50/50. This is why the two big realms of thought in America are conservatives and liberals, those who love the old ways and those who hate the old ways.

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  • Yes 1000%. I wish times could go back and keep ending in the 80s. I would love ro live1950-1980 2-3 times.

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  • Ew fk no she can work too. We can drop off those little crotch goblens at day care. And i dont like making all those decisions and all that. I need a independent woman

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    • ew is all I can say to that

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    • From your answer and comments. Just the way you talk about raising kids

    • Welll i dont like kids in general, there are a select few that i do like. But like 99 percent of the time i dont. Ill do a magic trick I'll make a baby appear and I'll disappear 😜

  • Yes, it would appeal to me. I would love if I could earn enough to be able to take care of everything financially and have my wife stay home and not have to work. I do not know about taking the lead on decision making though, that is something that should be done together. Of course this would only be if she wanted to stay at home and raise the kids, if she wants to have a job that is great too. It is really null in void though since nowadays you need both people to work in order to raise kids unless one of them has a amazingly high paying job.

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  • I vote A. Like my dad says, women always worked and stuff. Its more than simply men working and women staying home and cooking and taking care of the kids. Unless you got rid of people like obama, things will always be like crap like they are today with high taxes and the man and woman FORCED into working like slaves. Not everyone has a high paying job.

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  • Not at all! It could be that I grew up in a non traditional household where both my parents worked full time. My mom is a feminist actually. I grew up with a very non traditional mother with a very traditional father lol

    I'd prefer my partner and I both working and splitting housework based on our ability not on our gender.

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    • Did you parents get along well? I'm a feminist too lol and the submissive role suits me best (in casual circumstances that is)

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    • That's good though to have an example of compromising

    • Very true.

  • The entire concept appeals to both me and my girlfriend. We both want someone - namely, her - at home to take care of the children, keep the house clean, and cook excellent meals; and we both want me to make enough money so we can live that way. We're both very old fashioned and were raised with a more traditional mindset than many, so it makes sense to us.

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  • I'd probably try to take the best of both of those worlds. The focus on family and on being a parent to your child rather than their bestie and me working hard to provide what my family needs, while respecting and loving each other through the ups and downs.

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  • HELL no, not even why would I want to be in a relationship based on dehumanizing gender roles?

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    • Based on your comments on other people's answers, a woman like me wants a MAN. Someone who CAN make decisions when I am unsure. You've made it very clear you're not up for it, so get over it and move on. There's nothing wrong with a couple living this lifestyle. Get over yourself

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    • Of course, you can walk the street if you want but ultimately it won't "work".

    • You have no idea what you're talking aboutm you can't say something doesn't work for someone else, especially when you have ZERO knowledge on the subject. That's laughable

  • More than anything

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  • I love the way the women dressed back then.
    But other than that, nah. Too much racism, slut shaming, and oppression of the gays.
    Also no smart phones and tumblr nudes.

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    • You can customize it the way you want though. I wish women still wore dresses lol.. i feel silly wearing dresses these days

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    • Because I believe in the traditional roles of sub woman and dom man for my life. That's why

    • ...and woman staying home with kids

  • that's kind of what my parents are, however, after i was born, she moved her business into the house so that she could work and look after me. her office was my old room and i moved upstairs where i still currently reside. im 25

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  • no it's disgusting...

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    • It's really not

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    • @inamorata
      "the husband is out cheating on his wife and hanging out with his male friends spending the money he earned... while the wife is at home cooking dinner and taking care of the children... doesn't sound cool... you really have to hate your wife to do it to her... she should be independent..."
      this is how most housewives were/are treated... if you don't understand it i feel sad for you... but don't mislead other women with your comment...

    • So your reply to this is... Men are pigs?

      Being tricked and lied to by an asshole, has nothing to do with being a housewife. If you marry an asshole, you screwed regardless of where you work.

  • i absolutely hate the idea. maximise cash flow, everyone has a job. no kids.

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  • no, but then again, neither does marriage in general appeal to me.

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  • Yes... I believe to raise a sound child... they need a full time parent and not some part-time half assed shit.

    whether you can fit in a job while being a full time parent is up to you... but your priorities lie with the child.

    Unless your goal is to provide the world with an individual who is utter shit and the world is better off without him or her.

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  • The older I get maybe a little yea

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  • I live this with an Asian accent. I wouldn't have it any other way.!

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  • It's the only thing I will accept. I won't settle for what has become the norm today. I won't allow my children to be raised by someone who doesn't love them 10 hours a day, 5 days a week and then have them come home to two stressed out working parents. Children deserve better than that. Thankfully there are more and more women today who want the same things.

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    • I totally see your point. It is such a struggle for two working parents, and it affects the whole family. I would never shame working mothers because they are doing what they have to but for me, being a stay at home mom is the way I'm going

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    • Do you not agree that women are naturally better nurturers than men, or are you one of those delusional ones who thinks men and women are exactly the same except for societal influences?

      Do you think decisions about something as important as our children should be made based on facts or that we should "strike from the record" anything that might suggest men and women are not the same in the interest of political correctness and not offending anyone?

    • And rather than lecturing me about being mature based on the general undertone of the whole topic and how many people said what, why not base your criticisms on what I have written?

What Girls Said 34

  • Yup sure.. if I'm the "man" then it works out fine for me lol.

    My whole thing is I'd love the option to not have to work, but that doesn't mean that I would want to be locked up in a house all day. The one thing that would turn me off more than anything is someone telling me that I HAD to stay at home with the kids.. no, it's my choice. If I want to I will and if I don't then I won't and I think that's how it should always be; although, in my current relationship my boyfriend would be the one most likely to stay at home and raise the kids as he's more nurturing and caring than I am and I'd probably go out and get the moolah.

    So, to answer your question yeah I'd love to BE ABLE to stay at home all day and do nothing but take care of the kids, but I'd also love to BE ABLE to go out and work. Choices are great. Nobody wants to be felt like they're locked up in a prison with no options

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  • I'd probably kill myself before I ever let myself get into one of those. To me, a stay at home wife/mother is basically just an overgrown child herself and isn't really all that important. Plus, being at home with kids every day? Kill me now. Seriously.

    I grew up in a home where my mother worked 60 hours a week and dad worked 50. Their income combined is well into the $400,000's a year. And my mom makes most of that money.

    I went to daycare. I grew up just fine. That's the way it'll be in my house.

    I know you're all going to disagree because being a mother is "the most important job ever" but I don't see it that way.

    My mom worked her 60 hour weeks (80 hour weeks during tax season) and still came to all my sporting events, kept a clean house, ran a boarding barn, brought all 3 of my siblings to all of their separate events every day, ran the concession stands at my brother's swim meets, and had weekly date nights with my dad. If she can do it, so can I.

    I actually don't want children but if I ever have them, I'm sure as heck not staying home with them.

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    • "To me, a stay at home wife/mother is basically just an overgrown child herself and isn't really all that important"

      .. what a disgusting, shameful thing to say. Literally just lost all of my respect

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    • "To me, a stay at home wife/mother is basically just an overgrown child herself and isn't really all that important"

      You just seriously insulted a hell of a lot of women. You don't agree with THEIR decision, and judge them for it. You call them childish and worthless for doing something that's quiet honorable and far from being an easy task.

      It sounds like your parents are casualties of the yuppie generation of workaholics.

    • This is awesome! I so wish all women thought like this! Your are so dead on about those women being overgrown children. As a man I can't tell you how creepy it is to have women think of me as some kind of provider, protector, surrogate father, it makes my skin absolutely CRAWL, so good to hear a woman talk like a normal healthy human being , thank you, that makes me feel better.

  • After I had surgery and was forced to stay at for for 3 weeks hardly doing anything, then doing housework for a week after: cooking, cleaning, etc., I can safely say I would absolutely LOATHE the 50s lifestyle.
    This past month has been a preview of that type of life and I feel like my brain would slowly leak out of my ears, if I ever became a stay at home wife.

    I'm very happy in my 50/50 relationship, it's refreshing to be with a man, who doesn't feel like some chores ought to be done by a particular gender.

    On the other hand, my best friend is a stay at home wife and she is very happy being one.

    It's not my place to tell people how they should live their lives. Whatever works for you. :)

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    • You don't know how refreshing it is to have a decent person comment who doesn't look down on others for their lifestyle. Thanks

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    • lol at your first paragraph... the only time when I stayed home everyday for 3 weeks and not do anything was when (and because) I was depressed. Forcing me to stay home again would bring me the depression back.

    • Well, I couldn't really do anything, I had surgery on both hands. Left in cast, right in dressings - can't use, can't get them wet, keep elevated at all times to reduce swelling.

      It was quite boring to just sit there all day.

  • I wouldn't want to be a glorified maid/prostitute. People seem to forget that in the 1950's husbands would rape and beat their wives. People also forget that being a Stay at home mother was ONLY a privileged for the upper class. Many poor women HAVE ALWAYS WORKED. Read books about poor families from the 1930s and 50's. Many women scrubbed floors and worked in factories to help pay for their families.

    I'm an adult who is able bodied. There is no logical reason why I should not work or why my college education shouldn't be put to use. I don't see the reason to sacrifice all the time and effort I put into building my career to give it all up for a guy who thinks that mopping the floor and changing diapers will make his dick fall off. Any "man" who feels less than because I have a career is not a man to me. He is a sniveling insecure child, who wants someone to literally clean his messes. The bullshit of being asked what I do all day, not having help with our hypothetical children, The possibility of getting traded in for a younger model once he's used the best years of my life, and being told I don't deserve anything after a divorce Just doesn't appeal to me.

    I don't care what other people decide to do with their lives, but that doesn't appeal to me. I come from generations of working men and women. My grandfather was never ashamed that my grandmother worked, my grandfather never complained that my grandmother worked. He always said pride makes a man make foolish decisions and do stupid things.

    Anyways, ranting aside. No I wouldn't want a marriage like that. I wouldn't enjoy being treated like an over sized child that a husband wanted to control and have sex with. That is appealing to some women, but it isn't appealing to me. If I were to marry I would simply prefer a partner ship, someone who compliments my lifestyle not someone who dictates it.

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    • " The bullshit of being asked what I do all day, not having help with our hypothetical children, The possibility of getting traded in for a younger model once he's used the best years of my life, and being told I don't deserve anything after a divorce " ... oh boy, I want traditional but I would next accept this treatment. I husband will help with our kids and have a profound role in their life

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    • My dad taught me what a real man is. He always took care of his responsibilities and didn't try to pass them off to anyone else. Guess thats why I never understood what womans work or mens work was. My parents did ADULT work. I was taught to take care of myself and to clean up after myself and that no one else was going to do it for me. No one gets a free pass in life, even in marriage.

    • In the 1950's many men where more sexist and their weren't as many laws to protect women from abuse etc ..
      But, that doesn't mean that these things only happen if you are a stay at home mom. Divorce is rampant nowadays and so is cheating with younger women and domestic abuse is still high. Even in household where the wife and husband both work.
      You can be a stay at home mom cause you want to. And you don't need to scrub floors all day. Cleaning equipment is more modern now. Many stay at home moms are wealthy and don't even do housework. And in many cultures like my own the grandparents help stay at home moms with everything.

  • Nope, nuh-uh. Never in a 1000 years would I want to be domesticated like that.

    I want to earn my own money so I don't have to be dependent to my husband. So I can actually EARN the respect from my husband and be his equal, instead of being the "pet" housewife who has no say when it comes to our family's finances.

    Plus, I don't think I would live long if I don't get to get out of the house. Taking care of the house and kids everyday would sooner or later drive me to suicide.

    Plus, I HATE cleaning. I'd rather work some shitty job to be able to pay a maid to clean the house. I fucking HATE cleaning. Did I say I hate cleaning?

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    • You know, when I was younger I had a friend over, and she asked my dad why he was cleaning. My dad would watch my sisters and I when my mom worked over time. And he told her something along the lines of "When you grow up and have kids, you have to clean up after yourself and them. Its what adults do." And she said "My dad doesn't clean, my mom does that stuff." and my dad said "I guess your dad never grew up." I didn't understand what that meant back then lol. Now I do. My parents had their flaws, but they're awesome. Still married by the way too. They've been married for 35 years.

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    • Household chores can be organized throught the week. And when kids start school they will only need to be taken care of after school.
      So a stay at home mom does get to get out of the house. There are lots of activities she can do other than work. Like hobbies such as painting, dance lesons, gym or even charity work... And she is free to organize their timing
      .

    • My main point is: I hate household chores. Period.

  • No way. Does not appeal to me at all. Back then, women were seen as second class citizens whose only job was to stay in the kitchen all day and make sure the kids get off to school and come home on time. That would bore the fuck out of me. It might appeal to some people, but it's not the life I envision for myself or my future family.

    I always think that housewives are bored, frustrated, and unhappy. When they shop and buy things for themselves it's not with their own money, it's with an allowance given to them by their husband. Kids get allowances, adults don't. I want to work and earn my own money.

    People are going back to that lifestyle, which is fine. But again, it's not for me. I've also spent so much money on my education that it would be like throwing it all down the toilet if I decided to stay home and do nothing but change diapers and watch TV all day.

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    • Also, where I live the cost of living is extremely high. I don't know how single income families deal with it, honestly. I always say that if you are able to work (like of able body and mind), you should be working. It's better for you, your family, and the economy.

    • Fair enough. To each their own

    • Yeah there's nothing wrong with it, but it just doesn't appeal to me. There are some cons to the lifestyle in today's age that I can't get over. If anything, I would maybe stay home for the first 5 or 6 years of my kid's life until they start school, and then go back to work. I will be a teacher, so will be on the same or similar schedule as my future kids anyways.

  • I don't live in the past. I'd rather live in the present and split the house chores, raising of the kids and workload equally.

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  • this idea does appeal to me, but it isn't something i want for myself. my boyfriend was under the impression that all girls think this way, but i informed him differently.

    i think that a parent should be home with the kids at least until they are school-age because i think that developmental time is very important, and then once the kids are in school, there needs to be a parent home when they come home or shortly there after. no baby-sitters whatsoever. i'm not letting a stranger raise my child.

    as for supporting the family, the man should make enough to cover the bills. i am going to hold down a job too, but my income shouldn't be mandatory- like we have to have it to survive. my husband needs to be able to support us if i for some reason can't work.

    as far as buying and cooking food, i've decided i'm going to buy it and he is going to cook it. i do not want to cook and i do not want to learn how to cook. lol

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  • No, not really. I like my freedom.. and independence. I like to become successful and not worry about someone taking care of me as I watch the house and kids... women were more vulnerable then.. and they were often stuck in situations they weren't happy with.

    But, I don't say anything is wrong with 1920's marriage. Just not for me.

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  • I'm pretty old-fashioned in my beliefs and that kinda lifestyle definitely appeals to me. I think God created husbands to be the main providers for the family. If my husband wanted to stay home while I worked, I'm open to that as well. I do think its important for at least one parent to be at home if there is children involved though. If we didn't have children, and we were both working outside of the home, then I think the home responsibilities such as cleaning and cooking should be shared among the couple. But if he was the only one working, I would be happy to do all the cooking and cleaning.

    I think God created men to be the head of the household which also applies to decision-making. Its important for the husband to be open to his wife's opinions and views as well and the decisions should be ultimately agreed upon together, not solely his wants and needs.
    So I guess in some ways my views aren't necessarily traditional, but I do think they are more traditional then modern.

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    • I agree :) it's about teamwork for me

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    • I can't imagine a woman that wants me to make her decisions for her. A woman with no independent thought is basically dead like a blow up doll.

    • Its not that we want you to make decisions for us. Things should be discusses as a couple so both opinions are discussed. Ultimately though, guys have the final say.

  • Oh hell no , I hate house work. Also 50's house wives had terrible sex and were unhappy

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    • I've heard that studies have shown female happiness has decreased over the years

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    • you had marital sex in the 50's?

    • Yes , waiting for marriage is so outdated

  • I stay at home and my husband works. I take care of the bills and shopping running kids around to extra curricular activities etc but I also come and go as I please. He definetly doesn't act like he is above me or is dominant towards me and he doesn't give me an "allowance" I can spend what I want when I want and I can go out with girlfriends at night whenever too. So yes in most ways our marriage is traditional. It works for us. He makes decent money for me to stay at home and raise our kids.

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  • I'd feel limited by it, I hate mundane tasks like cleaning or ironing (I love cooking though) and only having to deal with kids and housework all day would just kill me (that's not to say I don't like kids, but I'm a person who needs diversity). I'm a free spirit, what can you do, and I'd be extremely unhappy to be locked up in a cage - thus, any children I could have would feel that way, too. I've always been taught to fend for myself, so I think I wouldn't like being so dependent on a man, or anyone for that matter.

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    • I understand except for the part where you said the kids would feel they are locked up in a cage. I don't know how they would feel that way unless you really limited them to opportunities in life. As in if you never took them places and let them explore different things and activities

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    • Exactly.

    • I hope each person can choose for themselves what works best for them and their family

  • Everybody has a system that works for them, but the '50s-style marriage wouldn't work for me. I really enjoy my field and wouldn't want to stop working, and the idea of kids doesn't really appeal to me -- being a parent is a full-time job and it isn't one I necessarily want to pursue (though who knows, maybe I'll change my mind in like 10 years).

    Anyway, even if I could live off of my hypothetical husband's salary, I would want to continue working. Besides I think it's good for women to maintain some kind of employment even after they're married. That way if they get divorced, they won't be thrust back into the job market after years of parenting instead of "real" job experience. That's probably too pragmatic for most relationships but it's something to consider.

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  • One of my closest friends' mother went to school for eight years to get a degree. She worked for five, quit to get married, and then became a stay-at-home mom. I don't think being a housewife is a bad lifestyle choice, just personally not my cup of tea. That friends mom, however, made a bad decision. She took the opportunity away from someone else who may really have needed college to get out of a negative situation and subsequently squandered it. Women like this annoy me.

    I want kids but I also want to finish college and work for as long as possible (becoming an engineer) because I love my field. Spending all day every day caring for my children doesn't appeal to me in the slightest (me and monotony don't go well together) although I will do it for a couple of months to a year when they are born (hope to have twins... may not work out that way but let's hope it does). Leaving my career for a decade would honestly break my heart, because I want to do as well as I can in it. Fortunately for me, an engineering career isn't as time-consuming as my previous (I was 13) aspiration in life (surgeon) so I will be able to spend time with my kids, as well.

    My childhood was generally unhappy (stay at home mom, working dad). I basically raised myself because stay at home mom in my culture just means that a woman shouldn't work, while hiring others to take care of your kids anyway. My mom did start working (she became an author) when I was ten, and family life as a while got much better after that. Before, my dad was a condescending asshole to my mother. He was degrading and never took her opinions into account. After, they became much better (friends) and since my mom had a life outside me and my brother, we all became much happier.

    As much as I will love my kids, and make every tough decision in their benefit, I do not want my life to revolve around them if it doesn't have to. That may sound horrible to some, but it's what I want.

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    • Sorry to hear that about your childhood

    • That's a good example of why it's important for people to choose the role that's best for them. I wouldn't want my kids to have a miserable working mom or a miserable stay at home mom

  • That lifestyle does not appeal to me one bit. I want to have a marriage that is 50/50 where both of us pull our fair share of the income and house chores. Dont get me wrong, I do want to stay home with my kids one day and raise them, not just drop them off at a baby sitters.

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    • When are you planning to work and when are you planning to stay home?

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    • So back to my question.. how do you contribute 50/50 financially when you're not working?

    • For that short amount of time I obviously wouldn't be. The main point I am trying to make is that I think the 1950's lifestyle was degrading to women. I think both partners should contribute financially and split the household duties and everything 50/50. I would leave my job to stay at home with my children until the youngest is in kindergarten where I will go back part-time or not at all and once they are in school all day go back full-time.

  • i think grandparents living in the same household was the best thing about japanese families in the 1950s.

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  • Its a backward concept. No. These days, we have hired help at home and most couple have to work to pay high expenses.

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  • To an extent... I wouldn't mind staying at home and doing all of the cooking and cleaning if my husband was providing everything for us, but I would still want help with raising our kids. Also, i would NEVER accept the sexism and patriarchal condescension that was typical of that era. I would also never "look the other way" about infidelities and be soft spoken and demure about issues within our marriage. Basically, I'm okay with the division of labor, but not with the rest of it.

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  • It does in general, but there are a lot of things to consider. I think it'd be too boring once all kids are above 10 or 11. And well back then divroce was really uncommon, today it's the norm. In case we'd get a divorce, I'd have nothing and a really hard time to get back into work. I'm not sure I would want that

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    • That's a fair point. I'd hope I will still feel submissive to him even at that point. Even then the kids still need a ton of guidance and a driver to sports and things

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    • forget divorce, what if he gets hit by car or something and I don't have a job

    • Me saying that has nothing to do with being a guy. I've read the laws in California at least. It does vary by state but here if you're married for 10 years the supported spouse gets alimony for life. I believe it's prorated if less than 10 years. Also if that person didn't work the government allows them to keep not working (I'm pretty sure on that). This support is continued until the supported partner is either remarried or co-habitats.
      I've known several men personally that support their ex wives which are basically married to their new partner but technically they aren't cohabiting because they keep their address somewhere else but in all practicalness they are living with the new guy. Of course she's unlikely going legally live with the guy to avoid stopping the income. I'm not trying to bash alimony by the way . I'm just saying that it exists.
      A lot of families get life insurance for that.

  • No what appeals to me instead is having rights

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    • I have the right to decide which role I want to take, right? So it's all the same regarding rights. The right to work, the right to stay home and split the tasks of the home

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    • Some people are more comfortable to give up control in some situations. So whatever floats your boat!

    • Yeah as long as I have an option to have my own rights I don't care what you do with yours

  • That's how I believe it still should be!

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    • So rare, and so comforting to know I'm not alone :') lol!

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    • Well everyone's different and I don't like to socially interact a lot. Only occasionally I like to meet new people. I will get out of the house with friends sometimes (when I feel like it). And I think I will take great pride in taking care of my family, just as my husband will take care of the family in his way. The way I see it, it's like a puzzle, we're a team and we will make this work in our own ways that we know how

    • Yeah I would feel unhappy sitting at home so much. I like to get out and do things and meet people. I love to help people as well.

  • Yeah it appeals to me. I like working though so I don't know.

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  • It sounds lovely but it isn't appealing to me 100%.

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  • If it were practical.

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  • no it doesn't appeal to me, i dont want to be a homemaker. i want to earn my own money and also be able to do things i like...having kids and staying home to take care of them as full timer is not my cup of tea

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    • That's awesome, wish all women thought like you.

  • It does appeal to me.
    I know that daycare workers are very nice, but for me, I always wished my parents would have had more time with me when I was a little girl. I grew up very lonely, since both my parents worked. So I like the idea of nurturing them myself and being able to spend more time with them. I also like the idea of being a homemaker, taking care of the house, making the home a relaxing place the husband wants to come home to.
    Of course I don't look down on people who want the opposite. It's simply preference. Some people dream of being lawyers, doctors, etc. I dream of being a stay-at-home mommy. :)

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    • I couldn't agree with you more! I wish you didn't go anon lol

  • hell no lol
    im a feminist, but also I can't be doing housework all day. and im definitely not going to be in a marriage where the man "leads" and makes the important decisions on his own. uh uh - no no.

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    • Great to hear so many women that have a mind of their own. I couldn't respect a woman who wanted me to lead her.

  • I love doing housework! My husband goes to work and I clean and cook dinner. I'm unemployed as of right now. We both make the decision making, but he's the one that's protective and pays the bills.

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  • I think both men and women should be equal both should have careers and work and be providers. That's how I was raised. Both my parents work and when my dad comes home he cooks dinner and cleans if my mom comes home she does it. They share responsibilities in the house hold and make decisions together.

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    • To each their own

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    • I wasn't raised in the lifestyle I plan to live interestingly enough..

    • At the end of the day its what ever makes you happy. And we can't judge or think a certain life style is weird if we don't agree with it.

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