Am I overthinking or is he trying to get a reaction out of me? I'm sorry it's so long!?

I have been with my boyfriend for a year and 5 months, we moved into our first apartment on February 7th and have been doing phenomenal since. I came to the realization that I want to marry him someday and expressed to him that I feel this way. He told me that he's not ready for that stage just yet and he doesn't want to flat out say that that's what's going to happen bc he still feels like we're new and he wants to be together longer before determining if he wants to marry me, which is fine.
However he has said a few things that get me wondering whether or not he is trying to feel for my feelings about the subject, even though I've expressed to him that I want to marry him someday. One time I asked him if he was going to invite his sisters and his family to his wedding when he gets married and he said "yeah of course... that is if I get married" and I said "what do you mean? you don't want to get married?" (asked in general, not about us) and he said "well I don't know, I haven't really found anyone special yet" and he just looked at me like he was waiting for my response and laughed and said "I'm just joking".
Then last night we were watching YouTube videos and I asked him to click on the one that talked about living together before marriage and I can't remember what I said but his response was "who's to say that we'll get married after this?" (meaning after living together), in a joking manner, and he just looked at me again kind of felt like he was looking for a response and I asked him "when you say these things are you just looking for my reaction to them?" and he starts laughing. Then today he was cuddling on me and he started tickling me and I said his full name and told him to stop and he said my full name and I said "Ugh I don't like my last name, I like yours better, it's cooler" and he said "no you can't have my last name, no last name for you" and I said "I actually like the way my name sounds with your last name" and he said "oh hush"
Thoughts?


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What Girls Said 2

  • No, i don't think you are overthinking it.

    i asked a question a couple days ago about moving in together before marriage, you should go read some of the comments that people had. a lot said that moving in together can seem like a step closer to marriage to the female, but to the male they may never take that step because you are living together now.

    it could be that he is just not ready to settle down yet. but his reaction to you asking him if he would ever could get married could just be because of the look you were giving him. if you are serious about wanting to marry this guy, i would try to find out what about the idea of "marriage" that your guy doesn't like.

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    • I actually read your question! lol and honestly a lot of people I know have gotten married after living together for a bit so I don't feel like he wouldn't marry me if that's what he wanted eventually.
      But I feel like he's the type of guy who wants to be with a girl for a few years to MAKE SURE that she is the fit for him. He has also told me he feels like 27 is a good age to get married, and he's only 23, going on 24 this year.
      I have known people who have been with someone for a few years, like 3 or 4 and didn't make it to marriage because they eventually found out they just weren't compatible like that.
      I know that when he gets married he wants it to be his only marriage (like I'm sure everyone does) so he just wants to make SURE.
      I just found some of his comments to be slightly weird lol

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    • yeah, and all three of those times he spoke in a joking manner as well, he is a huge joker so I just felt like he was trying to see my reactions to the topics, but i dont know for sure

    • i hope that he'll come around some day, I want to marry him

  • Seems to me like it's you who is bringing it up repeatedly and you're trying to get a reaction out of HIM. He's not ready to propose and he doesn't know yet if you are the one or not. I think he's playful because being playful about it is the easiest way to be honest without being brutal about it. Yes you're overthinking it.

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