Do all couples fall out of love eventually?

I see and hear about long-term couples or married couples just falling out of love with each other, I'm scared because it seems like people will claim to really care about each other and then as soon as the newness/"spark" and excitement inevitably wears off over time, they just decide they don't love eachother anymore and leave, then find someone new they have the "spark" with (only to fall out of love with them over time as well) and just do the same thing over and over again. I feel people have unrealistic expectations of what love is and that is a main reason why I don't really ever wanna get married, I don't want to invest years of trust, friendship, closeness, etc. into someone only to have them say they're not in love with me anymore. Heck, I'm scared of being in relationships in general for this very reason. Is this true?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Not all couples fall out of love, but you're correct that most have unrealistic expectations. Many girls I've known want that "knight in shining armor" or to be "swept away." It's a nice concept, but we all know that's not how it works in real life. I feel love evolves over time. What starts out as "puppy love" or "the honeymoon stage" eventually becomes a deeper, more real kind of love. And it takes both people committing to making a situation work, meaning both are ready for that kind of responsibility. In fact, TRUE love involves attraction on all levels, trust, admiration, support, laughter, shared experiences, and building a life together. There are many more qualities than that, but those are the key ones. No one can expect to feel the same way after several months/years that they did in the first month or two. Plus it takes a long time to know you want to spend the rest of your life with someone. I've been in love three different times, but none of those relationships lasted. However, with experience and age I've learned much more about what it takes for a situation to work. Plus my parents are still very much in love after 37 years, so not a bad example to learn from!

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What Guys Said 10

  • You raise a very good point, and sadly that's how a lot of people look at marriage. For a lot of people it's really not much more of a commitment than going steady in junior high. When the brightness of the fire starts to dim, it does take work to keep things smoldering. That work is called love. That kind of love is a mountain compared to the initial infatuation.

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  • Lol my ex said something about losing the spark to our relationship. At the time I didn't know enough about relationships, love and all that bullshit. My Grandpa told me that relationships are really a lot like fire. They ignite furiously and soon grow dimmer. Eventually they will go out.

    I told him was it like that with him and my grandma. He laughed and said yes. He went on to saying that the reason they are still together is because there are always going to be more paper to start up the flames again. It just takes two people who are willing to work at it...Not one.

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  • I think all relationships will fall apart if nobody makes an effort to maintain it. I believe that as long as both husband and wife make it a responsibility to love it other, they will forever be in love.

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  • I've read claims part of it is due to birth control... couple gets together, three or four years go by, and some tiny part of their brains says, "Clearly, this person is infertile, let's find someone else."

    Of course, other sources claim it's an instinct to leave after a few years, because that's how long it would take to wean a child.

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  • MAybe this is what gone through all married and well settled couples

    Crush> Attraction > Mystery > Love > intensity> Fall out > friendship..

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  • they shouldn't but sadly it does happen, communication is key to any relationship, and when there's a communication breakdown, there's issues

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  • depends, love morphs over time.

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  • People will always change, you can fall in love over and over again - but if you change into incompatible people... well bye bye love.

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  • I did with my 4 year relationship and happy she's gone

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    • Oh and i fucked her best friend the same day i did it, bet you all wonder how much your gf's really are your friends now ladies

  • My dad told my mom he wants strippers at his 50th birthday party lol.

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What Girls Said 4

  • I think it happens to most couples, but there are some that do stay in love.

    I guess you just have to hope you're apart of the latter group lol.

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  • I don't think so, at least not as much as people think! Times get hard and people are taught in this when something gets hard you need to just give up! Every marriage has rough spots, you just got work through it all.

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  • I feel that the sensation u felt in the beginning goes away cause now after some time you get use to a person that doesn't mean you fall out of love.. like anything love matures. If the love doesn't then it ends in divorce. But even though I don't have that high school love, I'm still in love with him. And care, and attracted.

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  • It depends on the people and the couple's dynamic. Being in a relationship is basically just testing the waters. Not only do you get to know a person more intimately, but you also discover some things about yourself in the process. Certain likes/dislikes etc. So being in a relationship is all about gaining experience more or less. That's why I don't think any relationships are a waste of time, even if the relationship was bad. You always learn something from it.
    That being said, you shouldn't be scared of relationships or getting married. Sure, maybe getting married isn't your thing and that's okay. But there's no reason to be super scared of it or anything. Tons of marriages work out perfectly fine. Yes, according to statistics the divorce rate is very high, but that doesn't mean all marriages are hurtful and/or a waste of time.
    My parents have been together for more than 20 years and they're still best friends, still as lovey-dovey as ever and still going strong. So is my aunt and her husband (who have been together for 30+ years), as well as most of my cousins and their partners. So no, not all couples fall out of love eventually. A lot of elderly people love their partners until death quite literally.

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