80% of the time you'll end up with a jerk because you're looking for someone who's outgoing, probably has their act together, and won't be clingy or change who he is. He has self esteem and doesn't care what you think, and very likely could be a jerk.
The nice guys, are generally more quiet, thoughtful, might not always have a plan, might worry more, be more inclined to being clingy, probably haven't been in as many relationships, and might be more vulnerable. They're the type who'll be more likely to care for you because of various reasons, but they're honest. They're quiet, so you might have to put more effort in, especially when trying to get them to open up about their feelings because, well, they'll feel differently about things and be more worried about what you think because they want you to like them and fear that you might not.
What you're ACTUALLY asking for, is the middle ground - the good guy, who's confident and has self esteem and all that, but also is caring and kind - they're the hard ones to find.
How do you find those guys? Well, look somewhere else from where you have been, and I almost guarantee you won't meet them in a bar. The other problem? A lot of guys in our age group are still discovering who they are and growing into that, a lot of older guys probably seem mature because they've gone through this, but a lot of guys never get there, either.
So, where are they? Probably right where you are, in front of their computer screens. Be more open to people, meet them everywhere you go, make more friends, do things - people are out there, they're just not going to walk up to your door while you're on the computer and say "Here I am!" ...Unless they're stalking you...