Why does he freak out when I touch him??

Question

I know he does not hate me, & he is attracted to me, so why does he freak out so much... I do not mean groping him or anything, just if touch his elbow by accident, or accidentally kick his foot, or brush by him as we pass... The tiniest touch & he gets Really tense?

Maybe he thinks i MEAN something by it- but I do not I just happens y accident, tho I do not MIND of course, but I do not go out of my way to DO it... The more relaxed I am & do not worry about it, the more it HAPPEN lol

GUYS, anyone have a being touched problem?

Help, advice, insight?

Thanks.

Shimmyshammy · Accepted Answer

This question intrigued me. I know this guy that does the same thing. We haven't dated or anything but we have always had this weird chemistry. Some days he has no problem with touching me, other days, he either jumps or freaks out. Just the other night I was showing him how I got this funny scar on my finger from cutting it a week ago. I told him to feel it as it was odd and he got all nervous. I said it's ok! It's a finger! Seriously, it's OK. And he got all nervous and said "that's ok., that's ok." I then said "oh for goodness sakes!" and rubbed my finger under his arm. He wasn't mad, in fact he giggled! WTF? He then showed me how he had hurt himself and when I asked to see it closer as I reached out to touch his hand, he jumped and kept his hand away. He use to have no problem bumping his hand into my shoulder or tapping me on the arm. I don't know what happened. We still talk etc, it's just that the tapping is gone. Sigh

Reeses-pieces777 · Accepted Answer

generally if it's a small touch and it doesn't do any harm, it's not a big deal. I'm the type that doesn't like to be touched. depends on the person. try and talk it out and see if he can get over the fact of just a small touch. did he freak out like yell at you? or was he just saying 'hey', depends on how he reacted too.

sweetnsassy23 · Accepted Answer

if you know he's attracted to you then it may be just because he's a little shy or nervous around you.just give him time...i dated a guy like this once but he was very much into me, just had a little intimacy problems...it'll soon pass but for now try to let him come to you...

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

Some guys just have touch issues I know from personal experience. If I get bumped or something in the community I usually tense up and get wicked agitated for a couple seconds. Also if I get touched other way usually affectionately it make me want to hurt people (I control my self) but it stresses me out, so I get really tense. I do have a few friend I've know for years that are exceptions though. Maybe he has a similar problem, touch problem are usually really specific. although judging by your update it doesn't sound like he does.

madman1234 · Accepted Answer

may be he is like me, and everywhere that is possible to touch tickles him O.O

CaptainOverthink · Answer

This could be a lot of different things. But from reading through your awnsers from other opinions I'd guess his issues are these two;

1. Intimacy - He might not be used to being allowed to touch another where there's sexual tension. It might make him nervous and a bit uneasy, but he'll get used to it if you choose to accept him and show him you're okay and not weirded out by it.

2. Control - Being intimate with others is a bit like loosening up and letting go of control. If he just recently have become intimate with you and wasn't used to it before then it might just be that "old habits die hard". He is adjusting, but slowly because he has had this entire life (or long time) in sexual avoidance, where he got to keep full control all the time.

Previous sexual abuse might play out like this too but it seems unlikely since you guys are 'stomping out' in the bedroom.

strateguy632 · Answer

what you described is something related to that specific man not you. some men i know can constantly feel their sleeve touching their arm and any additional touch is a distraction. his redponse not a signal to you personally just he responded same as shirt annoyed. the solution is be caregul not to bump nor tap unless he can hear what you plan to do, like "honey lets hold hands" as you move your hand to his. he might want that if not surprising. if he not want touch then ask why not?

sage2021 · Answer

Have you ever had a guy tease you about something and you took your had and lightly tapped him on the top of his arm like a little hit but not hard?
I would do that to my boyfriend when he would jokingly say something that wasn't a compliment, so I would take the back of my fingers and kinda lightly git/tapped him. We would both laugh about it.
Well, then I find out he was telling people that I hit him - like abuse or something. I was shocked when I heard he was telling people that I hit him.
My first thoughts were - what a whimp! Year's later to this day I don't do that anymore. What a baby!!!

Walt832 · Answer

Ask his past. Because I had a friend. We had our affairs. One morning, I touch her thigh asleep, "food ready". She jumped said "no no no stop please 🥺"afraid. I was scared 😳 how she reacted.

Then i asked her, is there anything i should know that i wasn't aware?

She told me her past is really bad, two family members rape twin sisters. I was just 😱. We stop having affairs decided to seek psychology. Then she move along. Both separate ways. She end up marrying a guy. Other sister as well.

Ever since I've been careful, never know what may trigger a person by touch. So be careful.

Anonymous · Answer

Sometimes.

It depends on the girl, and the situation.

I had a girl complain that she thought I was freaked out by her touching me; when really, I arched away from her because she spilled scalding hot coffee on the back of my shirt, and it was hot! So my back stiffened a little from her, not because she was touching me, but because it was burning hot coffee on my back, and a drenched, icky coffee on my shirt.

There's a girl I used to like, and she'd come up and do this little weird quick back rub thing. Part of me LOVED it, but part of me would tense up because if I showed too much interest, or that I liked that, she'd have freaked out, and I didn't want to fall too hard for her by confusing a back rub with interest.

Marshall33 · Answer

Sounds like he has social and or sexual performance anxieties or feels you have expectations of him being intimate too fast. Talk it out before you do it, for no more than a minute at a time, and smile when doing so the whole time, when you do and you will see he will eventually relax on both fronts.

OceanLover · Answer

hmmm ok... I may be able to relate. sometimes when a girl I'm attracted to touches me I kind of get a nervous feeling. but I don't tense up and freak out. he may just have very sensitive nerves.

so don't worry it's probably normal :) and the more you touch him the more comfortable he'll probably be with it.

fezmonki · Answer

Make him get over it the hard way, like it was done to me years ago.

Jump on his back and hold on his neck, don't let go. Next expect him to hold you on his shoulder.

I remember how I felt when I had lady parts on my neck, so near but still so 360° far.

Hell get over it.

papercut272 · Answer

i remember being like that before I went to high school, then I joined the wrestling team, where touching was a must.

i was never used to any contact, from anyone, not even my parents or brothers.

and every contact from anyone was unfamiliar and awkward to me.

or he just thinks you are gross, I would have the same reaction

Cruzier · Answer

I don't have any problem from being touched like you mentioned. Maybe he thinks your leading him on, and doesn't know what to do anything or is scared of it all. He could just be weirded about the whole touching thing in general. Mayeb there was a past experience that got him to act the way he does.

ivan5252 · Answer

u said you dated a year ago.. his reactions would kinda make more sense if something you did something towards the end of the dating that got to him.. no pun intended but 1) maybe he likes you but is trying to let go and is paranoid of the idea that you want something w him again since he might not or 2) he simply doesn't want you touching him in any way..

Anonymous · Answer

Is he your BF? If not then maybe he likes you so much that just by touching him you get him a little too excited. Or he hates you and thinks your weird/disgusting and doesn't want you touching him. Just ask him and he will tell you. but he is most likely just shy.

Summeroflove · Answer

I don’t know. Some people aren’t touchy and another thing is that he could be nervous. I would just ask him directly what the answer is and see what he says.

Even if some people are attracted some people just aren’t big on touching. It’s just how they are. On the other hand, he may like it but you could just make him nervous since he likes you

ChromeSky · Answer

He likes his space and actually doesn't like anyone touching him, he's just more real with you.
&
He is upset with you for some reason OR is just a very high strung person who needs to figure out how to relax.
If you help him figure out how to relax, things will change dramatically...

lv4lv · Answer

I read the comments that you went out with him... That would do it. He kind of wants to avoid you. There's a good chance he fell too hard for you and got hurt. Try slowly getting into his circle of friends and getting close to him again, personally. You two may slowly make a connection again.

Anpu23 · Answer

I'm like this, I'm a lot better now but in high school even a light brush would freak me out. Especially when the person was someone who I found sexually attractive. It was from trauma and an internal belief that I didn't deserve affection.

I would guess that its probably from a traumatic experience.

Elcristoph · Answer

it sounds to me like the man has some residing issues..most likly from his past, I would leave him be and if he doesn't want to talk then you may have to consider other options..

and no I have no issues with being toutched..

palek · Answer

Assuming you're not a 7-foot-tall Amazonian pit fighter, and he thus shrinks away in fear, and that he's not aphephobic, he's possibly hesitant to establish any physical contact while his heart is otherwise committed.

evette · Answer

Sounds like he is easly aroused by you and he is trying to control hisself and can not.  Try posing in a sexy way for him and see if he gets that way. If so that means that he is aroused by you.

shf84 · Answer

I don't have a being touched problem but I know who does, victims of childhood sexual abuse and victims of other physical abuse in childhood as well.

Could be this is what's going on maybe not but it happens.

Why does he freak out when I touch him??

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