Girlfriend didn't give me a birthday present. IOU

[COOP2332]

So, I'm kind of upset that my girlfriend of 11 months didn't get me any presents for my birthday. She gave me a card and a note that read along the lines of "i drove myself crazy trying to come up with a gift for you. I wanted to get concert tickets but didn't think you'd like any. if you find a concert ill get you the tickets"

This aggravates me because I told her exactly what I wanted for my birthday (a new wallet and a trip to my favorite seafood restaurant). I was really excited for my birthday. I was really looking forward to being able to at least open a beautifully wrapped and thoughtful gift. I worked my ass off to make everything for her birthday perfect and in return I get an IOU.

I don't know what to do because I've been looking forward to my birthday for months, a chance where she could really show me how much she cared. I was really hoping that she could wow me in some way (im not looking for money, just to show that she spent some time working on a good gift). I don't know what to do. It bothers me so much and I want to break up with her. I gave her lots of idea for what I wanted to do on my birthday and when I asked her she said she didn't remember me telling her any of them. So now I realize that she doesn't listen (or remember) when I tell her something important.

I feel bad because she feels like she cannot make me happy (which is honestly true, because she does nothing for me). I know she doesn't have much money but even if she made me a cd, or got me a t-shirt it would have made me very happy and at least I could thank her. How do I thank someone for an IOU? "maybe next year you could get me a good present?"

anyway, I'm probably going to break up with her on friday, I feel bad, but just want to cut my losses at this point. If anyone has any advice it would be much appreciated.

[MirandaSophia]

Although it may seem petty to break up with a woman because she didn't put much thought into your birthday, I'm guessing this decision is the result of more than just the absent gift. Neglecting to do something special for you, even something simple and inexpensive, was probably just one of many selfish little acts that got on your nerves. And while the others who answered this question berated you for your childishness and tendency to treat your relationship like a "point game," they forgot to mention that relationships ARE about give and take. Not about keeping score, just about doing what it takes to make each person feel loved the way they need to feel loved. If your girlfriend only cares about herself and what YOU can do for HER, leaving you feeling like an afterthought, the break-up is justifiable. You made the point that "she feels like she cannot make me happy," suggesting that she is afraid to try for fear of rejection/failure. If this is the case, she has some problems of her own to work out. Or maybe you were not gracious towards efforts she made in the past? Anyway, it is possible you could save the relationship by explaining to her how you are hurt by her carelessness. But only YOU will know if it's truly over. And if you feel like it's over, a clean break is the best thing.

[thina22]

It should be the thought that counts dear. It's not a gift if you expect anything in return, might as well told her that your "gift" is rather a trade.

[ohioguy]

"I worked my ass off to make everything for her birthday perfect and in return I get an IOU. "

Successful relationships aren't point games.

From the likes of this rant (assuming you've thought this out) she is going to be lucky on friday when you break up with her.

You're an adult, it's time to start acting like one and realize that a birthday gift isn't something to become so violently upset about.

Would it have been really sweet of her to make a gesture such as getting you something that she spent a good deal of time considering? Yes. Do you have any reason to believe she didn't drive herself crazy trying to think of something original and unique to get you for your birthday and at the end was so up in arms (probably because you're so damn picky) that she gave up and gave you an IOU?

In summation, break up with her. It will be the best thing for her in the long run. Who knows what you'll do if she forgets to say bless you when you sneeze.

[WeaponZero]

If you really cared about her you'd give without expecting anything in return. And if you're really considering breaking up with her over this then you're probably better off not being in a relationship at all because this really is an insignificant matter, or should be anyway if your priorities were straight.

[Anonymous]

I agree with ohioguy. You are being immature. As they say: "MAN UP!"