OK we been married for 5 years and he never gave me anything he say he don't know what to get me .I don't understand like I get him something every... Show More
Most Helpful Opinion
It's one thing for a guy to feel obligated to get his wife something on a day he doesn't value (i.e., commercialization, never celebrated it as a child, thinks it's "stupid"), but it's another thing to simply not celebrate a day without considering how his wife would feel about not receiving anything on a day she might value. I think husbands need to at least talk with their wives beforehand and explain why they don't celebrate valentines day and prepare her for the fact that he doesn't intend to give her anything and assure her of his love for her to clear up any misunderstandings. I think husbands also should consider that just as much as he may detest or dismiss this "stupid" holiday, that his wife may not feel that way. I think husbands need to consider that they may actually hurt their wives by not considering how their wives feel about valentines day, what it may represent to them, and that they could possibly be deeply hurting their wife by not doing anything and sending her a message that she doesn't matter or isn't worth getting a gift. I think that if it means something to one's wife, he should either make it absolutely clear that his non-participation in valentines day has nothing to do with his value and love for her OR a husband should give his wife something on valentine's day for HER sake because he knows how much it means to her. If he doesn't know what to get her, he should ask her. If he knowingly hurts his wife then he's simply a selfish person who doesn't care much about the other person, which indicates that he probably doesn't value his wife and doesn't care about her feelings. In that case, you either accept that reality or call him on it. The only way a wife is going to know the truth is to ask her husband the question above directly.