OK we been married for 5 years and he never gave me anything he say he don't know what to get me .I don't understand like I get him something every year and still nothing last year he went with his brother to buy me a gift and he only got me a card and it was empty but his brother bought something for his girl like why he could not copy from his brother
It's one thing for a guy to feel obligated to get his wife something on a day he doesn't value (i.e., commercialization, never celebrated it as a child, thinks it's "stupid"), but it's another thing to simply not celebrate a day without considering how his wife would feel about not receiving anything on a day she might value. I think husbands need to at least talk with their wives beforehand and explain why they don't celebrate valentines day and prepare her for the fact that he doesn't intend to give her anything and assure her of his love for her to clear up any misunderstandings. I think husbands also should consider that just as much as he may detest or dismiss this "stupid" holiday, that his wife may not feel that way. I think husbands need to consider that they may actually hurt their wives by not considering how their wives feel about valentines day, what it may represent to them, and that they could possibly be deeply hurting their wife by not doing anything and sending her a message that she doesn't matter or isn't worth getting a gift. I think that if it means something to one's wife, he should either make it absolutely clear that his non-participation in valentines day has nothing to do with his value and love for her OR a husband should give his wife something on valentine's day for HER sake because he knows how much it means to her. If he doesn't know what to get her, he should ask her. If he knowingly hurts his wife then he's simply a selfish person who doesn't care much about the other person, which indicates that he probably doesn't value his wife and doesn't care about her feelings. In that case, you either accept that reality or call him on it. The only way a wife is going to know the truth is to ask her husband the question above directly.
Does your husband get you stuff any other time? Like I can see how V-Day to a guy is the most unromantic day of the year. Why would you want a gift if you realized a guy feels obligated to get you it? I would want my girlfriend to do something for me because she likes doing it or wants to please me, not because she feels obligated to do so.
I planned on taking my girlfriend to dinner and I also made her cookies. You might think that isn't that special but the first batch of snickerdoodle cookies failed, the second batch tasted like ass, and the third was store bought mix. I couldn't get the chocolate to melt so I could dip the heart shaped cookies in half chocolate, half vanilla.
Our dinner plans were postponed because my girlfriend got me sick, she was getting over hers and mine was the worst last night. I said Happy Valentine's Day at 1 AM and then again at 6 AM when she left. She didn't say it back but she did post it on my Facebook. I didn't expect her to get me a gift or anything and thus I wasn't disappointed. Too many women feel that V-Day is all about a guy doing stuff for her.
This isn't the worst day for me being sick and all. I had a girlfriend disclose on this day some years ago that she cheated on me 3 weeks prior. She sent letters and calls professing her love knowing she has betrayed my trust. Why she felt the need to tell me on V-Day is beyond me but I still don't dwell on it. Sweetest Day is second place for most craptastic day.
The truth is that Valentine's Day is far more important to most women than to men. That being the case, honesty and communication is (as usual) the best policy. Begin discussing the holiday around February 1. Communicate your expectations, your wishes, and your intentions. Men are not mind readers and unless you make it clear what the holiday means to you, you will most likely be disappointed.