Why didn't my boyfriend of 6 months not get me anything for Valentines Day? :(

[LowDowngirl19]

I've been with my boyfriend for six months. His good points are that he makes me laugh, he does care about me a lot (at least I hope) and he's reliable. However, he takes the mick out of me a lot and sometimes I get fed up with it, mainly because I'd like to see a more affectionate side to him. Even his mum has told him that he needs to be more caring, but I don't want to say I agree with her!

He doesn't like Valentines day, mainly because he split up with his ex girlfriend of 2 years and that it's a money-making scheme. I understand where he's coming from; I'm quite maintenance and just a card would have made my day. He even said he would buy me a card and flowers the day before he was coming up to see me ( I go to University 3 hours away) but only because he “doesn’t want me to feel left out.”

I said to him: “Get me something because you want to, not just to shut people up.” I never expected anything extravagant, just a simple card.

Well, on Valentines day I got a Blackberry message saying: “Happy Valentines Day Beautiful, Love you loads and loads, Thanks for making the past 6 months epic :) xxx” which really made me smile, but the fact was that when he came up to see my two days before Valentines Day he hadn’t even made the time to get a single card.

I casually asked why he hadn't, and he said “he didn't have time,” because he was getting back from his University to catch the train to see me.

I'm slightly hurt he never got me anything, just because he doesn't like the day. He said he'll buy a present for me any day he likes, but Valentines Day has been the first time this year he's ever sent me an affectionate text.

I don't know what to do. Please help me. I wish he'd tone down his piss-taking because I feel like I'm going out with my brother! He doesn't send sweet texts anymore, just piss-taking ones and I've started being less-conversational. I'm asking for a complete change. I hate corny stuff, but the occosioal “I'm thinking about you,” “love you lots” etc etc would be lovely.

Is he going off me?

[Gone_But_Not_Lost]

I don't exactly agree with Cashemire. I think that whatever his reason is, it's crap. It sounds like that usual stuff you see in a lot of relationships where one person or the other loses the will to keep trying.

I think if he ever really cared he has a funny way of showing it, and honestly I don't believe he did care that much. Seriously he's not even trying. He could have gotten you a Card. I don't care how busy he was. They sell cards in all sorts of places. I've seen them in train station convenience stores and gift shops. I've seen them in gas stations. If not a card I'm sure he could have gotten you SOMETHING. But no, he clearly didn't even try.

I honestly think that this is the time to end things. You yourself even said it that you two are drifting apart. You're not even talking anymore, you feel like you're dating your brother, he doesn't talk sweet to you. Seriously, you could do way better than that. I don't care who you are or what you look like or what! Simply put, no matter what, you can do better than this guy, and you DESERVE better too.

This guy is not worth it. He's clearly not even trying, and I seriously don't think he cares. You deserve someone who actually shows you affection. Shows you they care. If it's already this bad after only 6 months, it's time to end it. I can't tell you why he doesn't get you anything for Valentine's, but I can tell you that you deserve better.

Dump him cold and hard, give yourself 2 weeks of singles fun, get over him, hang with friends, and then go find someone who actually gives a shit about you, and actually knows how to fucking show it for a fucking change. You owe it to yourself to be genuinely happy.

Don't you think?

[knowmeyourself]

I think so too. Listen to this guy, he's very wise ;)

[cashemire]

Even if I really hope I'm wrong, the whole story doesn't predict the greatest future :/

For your Valentine's gift, you really shouldn't care about it- I do understand you, but I know guys well enough to know that it's not their favorite day of the year... they always explain that by the "commercial part of it" but the truth is that usually guys don't like to show off their feelings too much and basically if he gives you anything on Valentine's day, it's practically like saying "i love you"...SO FOR THAT PART YOU REALLY SHOULD'NT WORRY :)

However, what is a little bit worrying is that he doesn't send you affectionate texts and that you are being less- conversational...and that it last for a long time now! I just hope he's like this normally, in other case it means that he starting to get borred by you and your relationship (sorry for saying it like this but this is what it looks like)...I think you really should talk to him and see where you're standing ;)

Kisses

[LowDowngirl19]

He's not really the lovey dovey type but he always hugs me and kisses me when we're alone. He once said to his ex girlfriend that he wouldn't cry at her funeral. Then again, he used to smile at me when we had sex but now he doesn't.

[cashemire]

Ok so maybe it's not going to be so bad :) BUT I still think you should talk to him- I'm not saying it's gonna be the best conversation ever, but it will clean the air and you will know what is going on! (always been afraid of this type of conversation but still, they work :/ )

[renjisgirl12]

Although I agree it sounds like he doesn't care much (I doubt he'd be so mean to you if he really cared about you), you did say “Get me something because you want to, not just to shut people up.” which he may have taken as you saying you didn't mind if he got you anything. Personally I think that the text he sent you was really sweet, and considering he doesn't believe in the whole Valentine's idea, he may have thought it counted as a gift. Just try talking to him about how his words upset you, and if you really want a card or present, you need to tell him. You can't just say "I don't mind" and then moan when he doesn't get you something.

[Anonymous]

I think this is a reminder that communication is so important in a relationship. Even though it may feel uncomfortable, telling someone what we want, it's vital for a healthy relationship - especially when one isn't fulfilling the needs of the other. If that doesn't help, I suggest reading "Are Men the Weaker Sex?", free from kobo books, to find out whether it's in your best to stay in a relationship or leave.

[30stl]

Let me ask you this before I give you my answer. What did you get HIM for valentines day? If you didn't get anything either you can't really bitch about it.

[Anonymous]

I guess his Blackberry message is his "card".