Girlfriend is angry because I bought my best friend a more expensive gift than hers?

[Anonymous]

OK so last week was my best friend's birthday and I thought of expressing my gratitude for all she has done for me. so I bought her a stuffed panda bear and on its chest its encrusted with a picture I drew of me and her and all my other buddies. so to get the drawing framed and encrusted it cost a lot. around £90 and the actual bear cost about £50. now on Valentine's day I took my girlfriend to the London eye and then I took her to an Italian restaurant and when we got home she opened the door to a big teddy bear I bought her which had an encrusted red transparent heart and inside it had a photo of us which she really loved. and the teddy cost £50. now when she saw what I had bought my bff she got jealous and she went ballistic on me she was like is your best worth more to you than me and she calling me a jerk etc. so to calm her down I just said " to be fair she has been with me through a lot more and when the chips were low she never bailed out " now she isn't replying my texts nor is she answering my calls. so my question is did I do anything wrong here ?

[amberstar]

I think for any girlfriend, when the guy she is seeing has a really close friendship with another girl she can find that threatening. It all depends on a lot of things, how long have you been going out with your girlfriend? How long have you known you friend? If you have been with your girlfriend for a while from her perspective she should be the most important girl in your life, at least more important than one of your friends so when you buy another girl a really thoughtful, expensive gift, your girlfriend might find that strange or threatening and it will make her insecure about how important she really is to you. This could be the reason she went ballistic at you and when she had a go at you and was calling you out on it you said how much your friend has been there for you and how much she means to you and how you wanted to do something special for her etc so you basically highlighted your friend to more important than your girlfriend, at least from her perspective, hence her not talking to you!

It all depends how important your girlfriend is to you. She should trust you more and be more secure in your relationship but if she is important to you you should also recognize the fact she felt threatened and worried and instead of basically confirming her fears, no matter how rational and reasonable your reasons were, reassured her that you buying that present for your friend was purely to show appreciation for her in a PLATONIC way. So I might try approach her that way! If she still doesn't come around after that she is being a little irrational! Hope you get it sorted.

[starangel248]

Okay this is just my opinion, but I think whoever decides to convert gifts to costs (as in like how much it cost) is super shallow and materialistic. If it's a gift, it shouldn't be about money. Instead, it should express how much someone cares about that person. I have loved the gifts that cost less than $50 way more than $100 ones. So...I really don't want to badmouth your girlfriend, but I think she's pretty shallow and insecure. It's okay that you have a best friend who happens to be a girl, assuming you don't cheat on your current girlfriend. :) I guess some insecure girls can find that threatening...

[MrMarK]

I say good lad for sticking up for yourself!

Your girlfriend SHOULD be gratefull that she has a considerate boyfriend who takes her out and has got nice friends. Your friends are a part of your life and your girlfriend needs to accept that!.

[Courtsrad09]

I think yes and no. Like yeah you're best friend has been through a lot with you but I think you told your girlfriend in the wrong way... I mean I'm not gonna lie if my boyfriend bought his best friend (that was a girl) something that was a lot more expensive than me I would probably get a little jealous. Girls can be really insecure and then you doing something like that could have made her think that you might like you're best friend more than her, but I mean if you only have been dating that girl for a short period of time she really should even have said anything to you at all.

[Eiffelgirl21]

much agreed!

[San898]

ahahahahahahahahhaaahahhaahhahahahahahahahahahaha :P

sorry its just so funny :P well I can tell you that much-- that thing you said to "calm her down", it just added more oil to the fire :P



its kinda like your saying I like my bff more than you ^^

[me-girl]

No and Yes... You have every right to buy your best friend whatever you want and your Girlfriend really shouldn't say anything about it however it was probably a little unfair to tell your Girlfriend that your Boyfriend has been through more with you etc and therefore deserves more...

[icecreamlover80]

Forget her! Seriously man- you don't want to be with a girl like that in the future getting jealous over things like that!:)

[Anonymous]

lol, never give more to another girl than you would to your girlfriend.