Did forgetting my girlfriend's birthday ruin our relationship?

My girlfriend, Sydney (of four years) is mad at me because I forgot her birthday (again I did it to her last year as well). This time she let me gave it and ended sleeping at a friend's house. To matters worse when I called her to apologize and ask her to come home I called her Cindy (my exes name).I'm horrible with names including that sound the same. She call me a jerk and hung up on me. I haven't heard her since. Are we over? I really miss her! How can I make it up to her?

Sydney and I made up. I took her out for dinner and gave her necklace the in engraving "I love Sydney". We're good.


Most Helpful Guy

  • Oh ouch, dude.

    I have a horrible memory, so I understand how that stuff might happen. At the same time you have to be more careful. Think about if your girlfriend forgot your birthday and how you'd feel. That being said, I want to try and help a little, so instead of the usual advice, I'm going to try something a little different.

    I write anything important down. Perhaps I even write it down in several places. Make sure this list doesn't get out or you'll look like a stalker, so keep it where no one will find it.

    I was talking with my crush, and she gave me a lot of good information about herself, so when I got home, I wrote it all down. Before I see her next I'm reviewing that information, so that I can perhaps bring it up on a later date.

    Ironically, I do a few small lectures on memory. I may feel like I'm awful at remembering, but I'd like to think these help.

    1) Write their name across their forehead. No, not literally, but IN YOUR MIIND ONLY. Don't look weird doing it.

    2) If you can, learn something else about them, maybe something unique. Remind yourself of something famous to associate that person with. I know someone named Moneesa. So I think of the Mona Lisa. So when I see this girl, the Mona Lisa pops into my head, and I've got it.

    3) If you can't remember the name, you fudge on it the best you can.

    I've taught school for ages, and in my community I end up teaching all the brothers and sisters of my current kids. When I can't remember a kid, and it's "sign in" time, I'll just ask "What letter does your name start with?" It looks as though I'm just reviewing letters with them and yet I'm giving myself a clue about who they are.

    Of course, I also do this when I remember their names so that it doesn't look out of place.

    5) A good question: "How do you spell your name again?" It won't work for friends or people you're supposed to know well, but it works for those you see on occasion.

    6) If your in a passionate moment to where you might temporarily forget a girlfriends name (I've never done this yet, thank god! ) go with pet names. "Babe" "Beautiful." I HAVE joked how the kissing is so good, I'd forget MY OWN NAME. Big passionate kiss: (There goes the piano lessons!).

    7) Like I said, write down all you can remember about that person. This helps it stick in your mind, it's still fresh information, and you also now have a backup for when you DO forget.

    8) There's a way to remember up to thirty objects at a time. You make a rhyme about the number.

    For axample, object one is related to a gun. Two is related to a shoe. Three is a tree. Four is a door (etc.) Ok, so imagine on page one of an magazine article that we have a picture of an ugly sweater. So you visualize yourself shooting that ugly sweater and killing it, like it's alive. Make it funny, outlandish and memorable, and you'll do even better because your remembering something unique.

    If you use these tricks, you'll do a lot better. Good luck.

    • I really like the "How do you spell your name again?" I'll definately be using that one!

      Good advice. (Y)

What Girls Said 16

  • This is so cute. I'm glad she forgave you. There's a service that you can sign up for that will automatically send out a card, floweres or whatever for special occasions. You may want to do that. It sounds like you're gonna need a jewelry budget. Why do you keep forgetting her birthday? Do you really love this girl or do you just like her cause she's there? Good luck Tyler.

  • Lol I know you 2 are okay now but here's a tip on not how to forget her birthday. Like you, I'm HORRIBLE with birthdays. I mean I even forget my parents birthdays sometimes and its really bad.. What I do is since my cell phone has a calendar, I put a reminder on my phone like 4 or five days before the birthday (this is if I'm getting them a gift) I also do it the day before the persons birthday, and the day of the birthday as well. That way it's fresh on my mind. After all those reminders it's practically impossible to forget. Lol hope this helped!

  • Aw, congratulations! :)

  • Okay... Coming from a girl's perspective, the birthday thing, two years in a row is not necessarily a good thing. If you have a bad memory, put it in your phone and have an alarm go off the day before or the week before so you know to go by her a present or something. That way, you're home free! Seeing as how you forgot her birthday twice, you really need to make up for it. You're not going to do this by making excuses, that will only make matters worse. She doesn't want to hear them. It will only make her feel like you're trying to be the victim in the situation, even though you're not. A normal present will just not do it anymore. If I were you, I would take her to a nice dinner, then a special carriage ride, or something along those lines and then give her a gift that she really wants. Oh, and if it's been 4 years, why haven't you proposed yet?

    Second... Okay, the whole calling her your ex's name... Yeah, not good. That brings the girl a WHOLE bunch of doubts about whether or not you're still into her... I know the names are similar, but to her that does not matter. Again, you cannot make excuses here. You just have to try to make it up to here.

    Try going to link and order her something there. Something that represents how you feel for her. They have a lot of really great stuff that any girl would like. I would do something along those lines.

    Right now, all you can do is pray that she loves you and knows you well enough to know that it was two honest mistakes and that she is the one and only one you love. If you need any help with anything, like gifts or such, you can email me at christina.dittmann@gmail.com. I'd be glad to help.

  • I'm happy that you made up, but mark all important dates on your calendar, highlight them in 3 different colors, and program these things into your phone. I doubt even a gift will fix it if you forget again, especially if she mentioned it directly to you in the last week. However, the whole Sydney/Cindy thing is pretty tough. I don't entirely blame you for screwing that up. I agree with the pet name idea, if you have this much trouble.

  • I think your girlfriend is really immature because she values cultural tradtiions more than her relationship with you.

  • lol... that's better then lol...:]

  • it kinda piss girls off. I mean.. how could you forget her bday! its like one of her most important days in her life.. and it showed that you didn't even care...


  • ok . so you two have been going out for four years and you called her an exes name AND you forgot her birthday 2 times? that's horrible. it is over and I would call you a jerk too if you were my boyfriend and did that. maybe you should actually try listening to her and talk to her. I don't think you can really make it up to her. sorry but you screwed up really bad

  • how could you forget your girlfriend of four years' birthday? by now you should know that! and the ex's name thing? yeah not cool. I would be pretty pissed too if dated someone of four years and they STILL didn't know my b day or my name for that matter..i'd dump you but if she doesn't she's a better woman that I am...your best bet? buy her something real nice if that doesn't work then you may have just lost your gf.

  • buy her flowers and chocolates or something buy her a really meaningful gift and give a big speech about how sorry you are the more meaningful the more she'll accept and don't forget her b-day!

  • damnnnnn k I'm a girl and you messed up badd girlss HATE it when you mess up there name with an ex g friend

    i don't kno about the whole birthday thing I wouldn't get too piseed but yea you screwed up so for now yea its overr hmm you would need sumthing relly bigg to make it up to herr think of thingss thatt make her happy

  • you what would be the cutest thing that'd probably not have her mad anymore? if you guys live together, leave her a card and flowers by the doorstep, then call her up and apologize, then take her out to eat the same night.

    she'll be happy with you all over again, I really doubt you two are over.

  • Ohhhh.. You did two of the most HORRIBLE things you could possibly do to a girl. My EX called me his ex's name and well.. We haven't been dating for a long time. He also wasn't over his ex.. Maybe that is something you should think about. If someone means a lot to you, normally those things don't happen. Just so you know, a gift is only temporary fix to a problem. But good luck

  • She could be forgiving. Depends on how much she cares about you. If she does give you another chance you better know you are a lucky man. If you want to make it up to her then show her that you care about her. Make an effort to remember important things about her and stop making excuses. I mean, really? You're horrible with names that you can't even remember your own girlfriend's (of four years) name? If you want to make it up to her admit to her that you've been a jerk (because let's face it, you have). Don't talk about yourself or why you did the things you did. She doesn't want to hear it. What she wants to hear is how much you care about her. That she is important to you. Because everything you've done screams to her that she's not important enough to you that you can't even remember her birthday. Oh, and getting her a thoughtful birthday gift and card couldn't hurt. Something sweet and that she'll like.

  • lol you gota play a little mind game on her, honestly far fetch but here we go, Tiffany and Cos. has a necklace that you can engrave on the back, if you really wana get her back, id go order that, have your names engraved, and say that you felt bad that the necklace wasnt going to be ready yet and you wanted to keep it a secret b4 it arrived, and by mentioning your bday and not having a gift you felt that she might have been even more mad(somethingn like that), trust me once she gets something tiffanys in her hand shell 4get pretty quikly I think, had it happen to me, but that's honestly how I think you should make it up to her, AND DONT EVEN MENTION THE GIRLS NAME THING AFTER THAT

    p.s. if you wana get her even more get her the matching braclet 2 lol


What Guys Said 10


    Buy 2 Calendars, 1 a portfolio kind of thing you can take with you, the other, a real calendar with enough room to write things. Then look at them every day when you wake up.

    And congrats for you making up, (provided you guys really did the best things for you both). And don't forget that birthday!


  • That's something you just can't do man, come on. Put sticky notes all over your room, set a reminder on your phone, something. Is it really that hard, I can understand being busy but that is something that just can't go unnoticed.

    I can't guarantee anything . . . .Just give her some space and time, hope it works out.

  • Well, you screwed up. Then, you screwed up while trying to apologize. Double whammy.

    I don't know how to fix it. I think you need a woman's perspective.

    But I think you need to determine why you're flaking out. Are you forgetful/absentminded in other situations? If so, there are habits and tricks you can learn to improve your memory and communication.

  • birthdays are so overrated

  • its not over but it will soon

    4yrs and still called her ur ex name

    maaaaaan that's worst than forgetting her bday

    u are screwed! how can you forget ur gf''s bday? do you care for her? really?

  • Maybe you should stick to dating girls with the same name. A little too late in your case. She should be understanding that you might not remember her b-day or perhaps, like myself, just don't know what day it currently is. I used to know because I had a watch on but since I broke 2 in back to back work days I stopped.

    You could make a list and put it somewhere you won't forget. Call it a New Year's resolution list. Put on the list: Will set g/f's b-day on my cell phone, computer, laptop, iphone, etc so you don't forget.

    Also, if you have a list of all your cell numbers in case your phone breaks, add to the bottom to update your appointment thing for the new phone. Also, give yourself a reminder a month in advance to set up flowers, a reservation for a restaurant, purchase that online gift, etc. With technology these days, it's getting easier to forget-me-not. Ohh, that could be your flowers for her. Woot.

  • i'm callin BS on this.

  • Dude your your own worst enemy lol. Just call and apologise or send her a card then just wait till she calls you. Start writing important dates because believe me girls remember dates.

  • You have to stop using excuses. You screwed up MAJORLY twice, it's hard to believe. Not to mention calling her your ex. You need to focus more on never doing these things again, than finding excuses that make you look less guilty.