Did forgetting my girlfriend's birthday ruin our relationship?

My girlfriend, Sydney (of four years) is mad at me because I forgot her birthday (again I did it to her last year as well). This time she let me gave it and ended sleeping at a friend's house. To matters worse when I called her to apologize and ask her to come home I called her Cindy (my exes name).I'm horrible with names including that sound the same. She call me a jerk and hung up on me. I haven't heard her since. Are we over? I really miss her! How can I make it up to her?

Sydney and I made up. I took her out for dinner and gave her necklace the in engraving "I love Sydney". We're good.


Most Helpful Guy

  • Oh ouch, dude.

    I have a horrible memory, so I understand how that stuff might happen. At the same time you have to be more careful. Think about if your girlfriend forgot your birthday and how you'd feel. That being said, I want to try and help a little, so instead of the usual advice, I'm going to try something a little different.

    I write anything important down. Perhaps I even write it down in several places. Make sure this list doesn't get out or you'll look like a stalker, so keep it where no one will find it.

    I was talking with my crush, and she gave me a lot of good information about herself, so when I got home, I wrote it all down. Before I see her next I'm reviewing that information, so that I can perhaps bring it up on a later date.

    Ironically, I do a few small lectures on memory. I may feel like I'm awful at remembering, but I'd like to think these help.

    1) Write their name across their forehead. No, not literally, but IN YOUR MIIND ONLY. Don't look weird doing it.

    2) If you can, learn something else about them, maybe something unique. Remind yourself of something famous to associate that person with. I know someone named Moneesa. So I think of the Mona Lisa. So when I see this girl, the Mona Lisa pops into my head, and I've got it.

    3) If you can't remember the name, you fudge on it the best you can.

    I've taught school for ages, and in my community I end up teaching all the brothers and sisters of my current kids. When I can't remember a kid, and it's "sign in" time, I'll just ask "What letter does your name start with?" It looks as though I'm just reviewing letters with them and yet I'm giving myself a clue about who they are.

    Of course, I also do this when I remember their names so that it doesn't look out of place.

    5) A good question: "How do you spell your name again?" It won't work for friends or people you're supposed to know well, but it works for those you see on occasion.

    6) If your in a passionate moment to where you might temporarily forget a girlfriends name (I've never done this yet, thank god! ) go with pet names. "Babe" "Beautiful." I HAVE joked how the kissing is so good, I'd forget MY OWN NAME. Big passionate kiss: (There goes the piano lessons!).

    7) Like I said, write down all you can remember about that person. This helps it stick in your mind, it's still fresh information, and you also now have a backup for when you DO forget.

    8) There's a way to remember up to thirty objects at a time. You make a rhyme about the number.

    For axample, object one is related to a gun. Two is related to a shoe. Three is a tree. Four is a door (etc.) Ok, so imagine on page one of an magazine article that we have a picture of an ugly sweater. So you visualize yourself shooting that ugly sweater and killing it, like it's alive. Make it funny, outlandish and memorable, and you'll do even better because your remembering something unique.

    If you use these tricks, you'll do a lot better. Good luck.

    • I really like the "How do you spell your name again?" I'll definately be using that one!

      Good advice. (Y)

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What Girls Said 16

  • This is so cute. I'm glad she forgave you. There's a service that you can sign up for that will automatically send out a card, floweres or whatever for special occasions. You may want to do that. It sounds like you're gonna need a jewelry budget. Why do you keep forgetting her birthday? Do you really love this girl or do you just like her cause she's there? Good luck Tyler.

  • Lol I know you 2 are okay now but here's a tip on not how to forget her birthday. Like you, I'm HORRIBLE with birthdays. I mean I even forget my parents birthdays sometimes and its really bad.. What I do is since my cell phone has a calendar, I put a reminder on my phone like 4 or five days before the birthday (this is if I'm getting them a gift) I also do it the day before the persons birthday, and the day of the birthday as well. That way it's fresh on my mind. After all those reminders it's practically impossible to forget. Lol hope this helped!

  • Aw, congratulations! :)

  • Okay... Coming from a girl's perspective, the birthday thing, two years in a row is not necessarily a good thing. If you have a bad memory, put it in your phone and have an alarm go off the day before or the week before so you know to go by her a present or something. That way, you're home free! Seeing as how you forgot her birthday twice, you really need to make up for it. You're not going to do this by making excuses, that will only make matters worse. She doesn't want to hear them. It will only make her feel like you're trying to be the victim in the situation, even though you're not. A normal present will just not do it anymore. If I were you, I would take her to a nice dinner, then a special carriage ride, or something along those lines and then give her a gift that she really wants. Oh, and if it's been 4 years, why haven't you proposed yet?

    Second... Okay, the whole calling her your ex's name... Yeah, not good. That brings the girl a WHOLE bunch of doubts about whether or not you're still into her... I know the names are similar, but to her that does not matter. Again, you cannot make excuses here. You just have to try to make it up to here.

    Try going to link and order her something there. Something that represents how you feel for her. They have a lot of really great stuff that any girl would like. I would do something along those lines.

    Right now, all you can do is pray that she loves you and knows you well enough to know that it was two honest mistakes and that she is the one and only one you love. If you need any help with anything, like gifts or such, you can email me at christina.dittmann@gmail.com. I'd be glad to help.

  • I'm happy that you made up, but mark all important dates on your calendar, highlight them in 3 different colors, and program these things into your phone. I doubt even a gift will fix it if you forget again, especially if she mentioned it directly to you in the last week. However, the whole Sydney/Cindy thing is pretty tough. I don't entirely blame you for screwing that up. I agree with the pet name idea, if you have this much trouble.

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What Guys Said 10


    Buy 2 Calendars, 1 a portfolio kind of thing you can take with you, the other, a real calendar with enough room to write things. Then look at them every day when you wake up.

    And congrats for you making up, (provided you guys really did the best things for you both). And don't forget that birthday!


  • That's something you just can't do man, come on. Put sticky notes all over your room, set a reminder on your phone, something. Is it really that hard, I can understand being busy but that is something that just can't go unnoticed.

    I can't guarantee anything . . . .Just give her some space and time, hope it works out.

  • Well, you screwed up. Then, you screwed up while trying to apologize. Double whammy.

    I don't know how to fix it. I think you need a woman's perspective.

    But I think you need to determine why you're flaking out. Are you forgetful/absentminded in other situations? If so, there are habits and tricks you can learn to improve your memory and communication.

  • birthdays are so overrated

  • its not over but it will soon

    4yrs and still called her ur ex name

    maaaaaan that's worst than forgetting her bday

    u are screwed! how can you forget ur gf''s bday? do you care for her? really?

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