Why won't my ex-girlfriend come get her stuff from my house?

Alright, me and my ex girlfriend dated for 3 years and she broke up with me. The end of our relationship was sort of rough and I think she broke up with me because I was a dick. I took it a little hard in the beginning, but I left her alone and tried not to show her how much she hurt me. After about a month I still wasn't over her so I stopped talking to her all together. We even had a class in university together and I stopped sitting beside her like I did before we broke up. She even tried to add me as a friend on facebook, but I declined. I did this so I could get over her, not because I'm a dick, and move on, which worked.

About 4 months later I met a new girl and we are now dating and have been for about seven months. During the time I was with my new girlfriend, my ex wrote me a facebook message asking for her stuff (this was about 6 months after we broke up and you can still write messages without being friends on facebook). So I messaged her back saying it was fine for her to come and get her stuff from me whenever she wanted to. (might I add that when I messaged her back it allows her to be my friend on facebook for a month so she can see everything that I do on facebook). She ended up not coming to get her stuff or messaging me back. Now, Me and my ex girlfrind (she still hasn't got another boyfriend) have been broken up for a year and she sent me another message on facebook asking for her stuff back again, but this time she asked if she could pick it up the next day. So I wrote her back and said sure she can pick it up, but she never came or messaged me back.

Weird thing is, my birthday was the day before she messaged me to get her stuff back, and before this message we haven't spoke to eachother since the last facebook message (about 6 months ago) . I was just wondering why this girl won't come and get her stuff from me? A few thoughts I am having right now are 1) might my birthday being a couple days ago mean anything 2) do you think that she still has feelings for me 3) maybe she doesn't want to come get her stuff because she knows that when she does she'll never have a reason to speak to me again? 4) Or maybe she messaged me again so she could be able to see my profile on facebook for some weird reason? But don't forget she broke up with me!


Most Helpful Girl

  • She is using her stuff as a way to stay connected to you. When she speaks to you about it she is hoping that you will tell her that you would like to see her again & maybe work something out- but, all you say is "sure, come get your stuff" & that is not what she wants to hear from you.

    The stuff she has left behind cannot be that important to her if you have had it for a year now. If you are really serious about this other relationship & know in your heart that she is not who you want to be with than I would put her stuff in a box & deliver it to her.

    She needs to know that you have no intentions of ever getting back with her so she can stop playing games & move on. My ex has been doing the same thing to me for 3 months now- he calls telling me he needs something he left behind & when I say come anytime & get it he either never shows up like he said or comes over & takes just a few things & leaves other stuff saying he'll get it some other time. He still has things of mine also, but when I ask him for them he says "yea, I'll get it to you when I get a chance". I still do want my ex back but, he is seeing another woman now, so that is why I'm allowing him to do this to me but, it hurts every time he comes to get something because it is like we keep breaking up over & over. I hope you get things taken care of soon because it is just prolonging the end of things with her if you truly want to be with the one you are seeing now.


What Girls Said 5

  • She is watching your facebook. Plain and simple. The next time she ask you about her stuff, tell her to call and talk like an adult. Not to find out what you are up to on facebook.

  • Sounds like you're too hung up on her still.

  • I'd say you get your stuff or you can buy it from GoodWill!

  • whatever the reason is I think you not care much wheather she want to take it or not, just ask her w.e she want to take it once more, and now that you have a new girlfriend just enjoy and love your new girlfriend!:) she is more deserve than your ex girl friend! If I were you I will not care much about your ex and will just concerntrate on now! good luck:)


What Guys Said 2

  • #3. The belongings she left at your house are her last ties to you. You've moved on, but she hasn't been able to find anyone else.

    She might also be using her question about the belongings as an excuse to periodically check your account in order to see whether you're still in a relationship. She probably hasn't said anything due to pride, but it seems that she has reason to regret breaking up with you. Maybe if she had discovered that you were single the day before your birthday, she would have shown up with a present and asked for your forgiveness.

    In any case, if you want the cycle to end, call her and tell her that you'll personally deliver all of her belongings to her address. Her response should be interesting, and it will put you one step closer to finalizing the true end of the relationship.

  • Ok, if you are really done with her, pack up her stuff and ship it to her address. She once meant something to you, the least you can do is just pay to ship her her stuff. If she has not gotten over you or it is still too hard for her to see you, just mail her her stuff.