I wouldn't too much worry about Christmas gifts because Valentines day is in February. Maybe he is giving it time to see if this is going to be serious or a short term relationship. months isn't a really big deal until you spent years with that person. Many men will wait further in the relationship to feel secure. He is in this relationship taking things slowly, but not expecting much from anyone. when you do too much, or expect too much, it could lead to disappointment. Another possibility is him waiting until he know for sure that this relationship will be the relationship his heart will open up too. Don't sweat it but let him feel secure and safe from a heartbreak by taking things by level at a time. if it's meant to be then he will show you love. communicate with him about how he feels and if he understands you then he will make up for it, or at least apologize. men don't think the way women do. however, this is why we communicate our feelings to those that are worth opening up to.
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I relate to this too much lol.
The fact that you're not materialistic probably gave him the vibe that you don't mind if he doesn't spend a lot or if he can't; which in his mind it may translate that he doesn't have to. Which obviously is never the case. You need to just have a discussion with him and be open, tell him how it made you feel not to get anything from him, how happy you would be to get a gift, and how you don't need something necessarily expensive just something that its obvious he put thought into.
Sometimes guys are dumb about stuff like this, they'll take a woman's word to face value and not handle it correctly. While I get you're trying to be polite and not seem like a gold digger, he'll just see it as an opportunity to have a cheap girlfriend he doesn't have to splurge for. Which isn't great mindset on his part, but it doesn't mean he doesn't care. He probably just thinks you honestly don't care one way or another.
Well it's not like your an old couple who have been married for 50 years and have 10 grandchildren to take care of. It's the beginning of a relationship and if you bought him something, at least he could do is go to the store and buy you a gift in return.
It's not always about the gift, its the thought that counts. I would want a gift, a card or even a nice note from my partner for Christmas just to know that I am valued and appreciated. So unless he is literally broke or has a lot of expensive bills to pay off, he can at least have the decency to get you SOMETHING for Christmas.
hmm if your boyfriend didn't give you a Christmas gift, it sounds to me like he's doesn't care? or t least doesn't know how to show it..
i would suggest talking to him but I know it would be weird asking him why didn't he get you a present.. I say wait maybe he's waiting for the last minutes to give it to u
$50 is not a lot these days, unless you spent 2 x $50 = $100.
Let it go. Just see if he gets you a gift. If it were me, I would want a boyfriend who makes himself more available and a boyfriend who thinks about me and a boyfriend who buys me Christmas gift.
Did you talk about it beforehand? I want to give him the benefit of the doubt, but I don't know why that would happen. Personally, if I was involved with someone over the holidays, even not being able to afford a whole lot, I would make something, or find a decent deal. I'd probably ask and then put a dollar limit amount on it if we agreed, but she'd be getting SOMETHING, especially with six months of dating, but that's just what I learned growing up, and my personality. But even with "friends" a lot of them are kinda crappy about "the return" as far as level of stuff we put in.
What have you guys been fighting over?
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That’s a little shady that he didn’t get you a gift for Christmas , and shady that you both didn’t even talk about it , so by him just blowing you off is a bad sign that something is off , that he isn’t telling you. I don’t know your relationship exactly with him but 6 months is still a Néw relationship that shouldn’t be having issues like this , If you both were together for 10 years then that would be a different story. So the fact that he didn’t even consider getting you a gift for Christmas is definitely a red flag that he is probably up to no Good especially since you both didn’t talk about gifts. So my advice to you is to find out what is going on as to why he chose not to get you a gift. Me personally doesn’t really care about gifts , but when I am in a relationship with a girl that I value and want by my side , I don’t hesitate to get her a gift even if she tells me not to , I still give her a gift to let her know I still appreciate and love her even if we been arguing and butting heads I still give her a gift to let her know I still value her , if I chose not to get her a gift then the only reason that would be , is because I no longer valued her. So that’s something you should really consider if he really values you or not or is he just string you along while weighing his options. The only way a couple should not give gifts to each other is if they both agreed not to give gifts to each other , and had a conversation about it. I would never assume my partner didn’t want a gift from me
You´ll have to decide whats important to you.
We had some troubles during Covid and my SO didn't get me anything for birthday or Christmas or valentines for almost 2 full years - not cause he did not want to, but cause we simply couldnt.
I got him nothing too - but you know what the greatest gift was? That we proved we could see past prententious short term gratification and use what little resources we had to save up and build something, something we are living off now.
Not saying thats what you should do, but know whats important to you.I don’t think you’re being crazy. Gifts are important because it shows you that they think about you when you’re not around. A gift should be something that has meaning to both of you and by giving it to them shows how you feel. Your gift of tickets is perfect because it something he likes, his favorite band, and you can do it together. I afraid if he didn’t get you a gift for your birthday and didn’t do one for Christmas you shouldn’t expect anything for your anniversary. Unfortunately people can’t learn to be romantic and thoughtful if they aren’t already. That’s just my opinion of course.
One of the best things I've ever learned is The 5 love languages. Maybe he sees spending time with you as a gift versus giving u a material one. It's not a bad thing to like material things. If you want gifts, you're going to have to let him know. Sometimes its money issues or he thinks you don't really care about it because you've said nothing. Dont turn it into an argument just have a casual conversation OUTSIDE of your emotions. Talk to a girlfriend first to get all those crying and anger emotions out. Then when u can talk logically about what hurt you he is very likely to hear you and to do something about it.
- u
I understand you cause for concern. The point of giving gifts is not how much money was spent, but it is an indication of how much your partner cares. It is reassuring to receive a gift that they obviously spent time carefully selecting.
"You know, we recently talked about working through some problems and trying to make our relationship better, and that includes communicating our concerns in a constructive way. You didn't give me anything at Christmas and I am trying to understand what that means. I don't know if it is a sign that you don't care, don't have any money, or just don't believe in exchanging gifts. Can you address that for me?" That's extremely hurtful, selfish and insensitive on his part. I would talk to him more about this and don't stop until you are satisfied with his response and are able to move on, if you can.
You should never be a forgotten recipient or after thought of a simple gift at special times, even if it's just a heartfelt card, unless previously agreed upon together.
I would be extremely hurt if I was you and it would make me question my relationship, gifts aren't everything but nothing is nothing and after 6 month together, it's especially hurtful.
Sending you a huge hug ❤️
6 months isn't that long. And it depends on how he grew up. If he only got 1 present or zero at Christmas, and only from his parents he's not going to think the same way as someone who got 40 presents from every relative and some friends each Christmas.
" I spent around $50 on those tickets and put a lot of thought and effort into getting them." -- Women often think that a man has to think/act the same way she does. Guys don't think the same way you do. We aren't going to spend 3-5 hours a day in 20 different stores over 3-5 weeks looking for a present. If we spend 2 hours it's high praise because it's more than we'd spend looking for a tool at Home Depot.
I would say he is truly heartless. Any man that wouldn't give his girlfriend at Christmas a gift. Well that should tell u right then. He only thinks of himself. Reason I say in the spirit of gift giving. The thought of giving never crossed his mind. Shame on him. All he had 2 do was come up with something 2 give. A gift card would be simple. Along with the thought of caring. Last time I am going 2 say anything else. Just think if the 2 of u was married. Who would he think of first. OK I got one for u. Who starts the foreplay of sex.
My dad was like that w my mom when they were dating.
she would go all out for his birthdays, Valentine’s Day, and Christmas and he never even gave her a rose.
they still fell for each other and got married and he slowly started changing that side of him.
but it is something that Lowkey traumatized my mom in the long run.
maybe you’re hurt yes, but just don’t say anything about it. Hopefully he will realize that’s kind of a bitch thing to do and next time give you something to make it up. Just send him little signs here and there, maybe like asking him what he wants for a certain holiday and then later he’ll start doing the same for you.At face value obviously it seems like this guy kind of sucks, but I’m wondering if you could provide more information?
If you guys are both young and just getting into your careers or not even there yet, I think you should consider how much he spends taking you out on a weekly basis. It’s possible he just doesn’t have the money in that moment and planned poorly.
He should be getting you a rose or card at least though. I would consider talking to him about it and making sure he understands that it hurt your feelings. Make it clear you don’t expect a present, but do expect a card or something small so that you don’t feel neglected.I can understand why you feel hurt. I personally don't think much about presents or want them really, but if my partner go out of their way to give me something I at the very least make sure to let them know how much I appreciate it, and if I cannot get them anything back, I'll take them to dinner or similar!
I think you should try to discuss this with him if he haven't gotten you anything.
I think it's very reasonable you feel this way, you actually said beforehand that it's a Christmas gift for him.Reading your responses to other people it sounds like he isn't "gifting" of his time either. It isn't the fact he didn't give you a gift but that he isn't attentive every day or week and the fact everyone else got Christmas gifts.
It would be different if he was giving of his time and attention all the day and maybe just didn't have the money for gifts but it seems that is not the case. At the 6 month mark you have to decide if the relationship is working for you.
I watch the you tube dating coach Mark Rosenfeld and one thing he mentioned in one of his videos is looking at how as your partner treated you in the last month or two. Now how well he or she did at the beginning but recently.
I do think he could have at least spent $25 on a small gift like bath products or a candle or even a homemade gift.Ask his real girlfriend if you can have hers.
Or maybe he believes it's a damned holiday be ause if how monetized it's become. Ask him bluntly?
Maybe he embarrassed about a money situation. Ask him?
Maybe he ordered something that didn't come in. He probably could have made something until it came in though.
Actually he could have done that if money situation was bad. Ooooooi...
Probably either has real girlfriend or hates monetized Christmas... oh yeah or he gonna break uo after holidays.
ASK HIM BLUNTLYUsually when you bring a gift you shouldn't expect smthng in return but I understand your point and how you would unappreciated. I have read in the comments that the fights were due to miscommunication or lack of it even.
It is really important that when you are stating your point or want to complain about smthng to not soung aggressive because he will feel attacked.
So if receiving a Christmas gift is smthng you would expect in a relationship then of course voice it to him but in a peaceful way.
How are his finances? Did he just get out of a bad relationship?You shouldn't bring it up, nor should you "give a gift" to "get a gift". If you have a problem with your boyfriend not remembering your birthday, OR thinking he should give you a gift for Christmas, then you best talk to him about that... specifically. IF … and I say "IF", it's indicative of other behaviors, i. e. selfishness, self-centeredness, no appreciation of you, etc, then you should be prepared to accept this about him and live with it, or move on. I vote for ……… dump his ass. After 6 months, if these are his true colors, you need a better man.
It could be that he's unsure about the relationship.. but if he loved you enough he'd look past that and get you a present. He'd put some effort in it because it doesn't look like he's putting enough effort , else you wouldn't feel so insecure. Like wth aren't you guys acually dating.
Another case is that he's just not used to gifting Christmas presents or not good at gifting..
You can bring it up in a casual manner.. like ask him if he doesn't celebrate Christmas in his family. Or if he thinks that chrir gifts are unnecessary. And see what he'll respond..Dont feel bad my wife didn't get me anything either nor a anniversary gift which our anniversary is Christmas eve but she made a big deal that i got her something. i always get you didn't give me any ideas so i didn't know what you wanted. really your fucking married to me stop buying me this cheap shit from walmart that has no thought and actually put some damn thought into. im not that hard to buy for or wait hears an idea actually LISTEN to what i want. but this goes for anyone dont expect something from your boyfriend girlfriend or spouse when you havnt got them anything. all it shows that your selfish and could careless all it does is make hard feelings or pisses the other person off.
Guys at the beginning of a relationship put forth much more effort if they are crazy about a girl. If you're only 6 months in and he already doesn't spend much time with you and doesn't make you a card or do ANYTHING for the holidays. I'm afraid this is what your future will continue to look like. Sounds like you already know and feel you deserve better. He sounds lazy and obviously doesn't realize he's lucky to have a girlfriend.
Handle it by seeing how he handles his car windows being smashed.
That's teach him to 'forget' one of the three days a year when you must purchase a gift for someone.
1) Christmas
2) Birthday
3) Anniversary
I think something is really wrong if you don't talk to each other about hard stuff.
Don't you think he is your contact point to solve this matter? Talk to him. Tell him how you feel, and ask him how he sees it in the future. Maybe he doesn't want to exchange presents and you just made your own decision buying those tickets. No one here knows what he thinks and you have the best access to this knowledge.
Talk to him, listen to him and you both make an agreement for the future
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