Ex dating much younger girl

my boyfriend and I broke up after 3.5 years together. he had been texting a new girl behind my back. he acted as if he was upset about the break up but a week later he was bragging to his friends that he has a 'hot new girl'

he is going to be 29. I'm not positive on her age because my ex hesitated when I asked him. she's either 22 or 23.. but again, he hesitated so she could even be younger?

my question is - what could a guy his age have in common with someone that young? is it only for booty? what substance is there?

its not that I'm jealous and I know there are a lot of girls who are mature for their age.

i just want to better understand a guy's thought process on the whole matter?

and I realize age difference isn't that big of a deal when you are older.

i just feel like in your early 20s you are just starting to figure out what you want. his friends have told me that she's just arm candy and there is nothing else there besides her looks. he's not even taking her out on dates just likes having her around.


Most Helpful Guy

  • It's not that he's into younger women, just has no defense against them. They're like frolicking puppies, with cute little tails and big puppy dog eyes, and we just want to pick them up and play with them.

    I meant, he just wants to pick them up and play with them. I'm impervious to their flirtatious nonsense.

    Younger women are a draw, on the serious side, because they release men from the responsibility of their own age group, allowing them to feel younger. It's one more way of going off into his own little world with someone fresh and new to being on their own. And by the time a man is his age, he can afford all the things a young girl needs: car repairs, rent, clothes, jewelry, etc.

    Some young women are so in need of assistance they can actually drain an old fart's entire bank account before he realizes it. Thus enabling all the old women to laugh and gawk at him as he orders off the dollar menu for years afterward. Of course, all the old women have forgotten when they were a hot 18-22 year old causing car wrecks when they walk down the street...

    Yeah, you're right, actually. It's the sex.

    • lol thanks for the comment. honestly this guy has no money. I would pay for 90% of our dates, I bought him groceries, he was unemployed when I met him & had a 2ND dui. I turned his life around,motivated him with his job & getting back into school. he can barely pay his rent& he borrows money from his mom for gas &some bills. I guess when I met him I wanted to save him? I naturally see the good in people & overtime fell in love with him. but anyway.. I'm not sure theyre going out unless she's paying

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    • thats what many of my friends have said too- the part about someone his age wouldn't have him.

      i know now that I'm older I wouldn't put up with a guy like him. I am no into my career , bought a new car, saving for a house. he just doesn't seem to have his head on straight yet with any of those things. I tried helping him, but I guess he will be the person he wants to be.

    • It's sad more older women don't take us slackers under their arm. Why do we only get picked up by older women if they're our middle school teachers? I need a new car and a better roof over my head.

      Sure, I'm a slacker, but I'm well endowed, was a great massage school student before I dropped out, and can cook with the best of them (although the cleaning part is lost on me).

      Where are all the 50 year old wealthy divorcees and career women when I need them?

      I'd be a good kept man.

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Would you date someone younger/older/married?

What Guys Said 27

  • Some guys need to brag to their mates about a younger girl. Usually a guy only 29 doesn't have that syndrome, thoough, that is pretty rare.

    You're quite right, though, at those ages, she's effectively a generation younger than him.

  • Is having things in common important?

    It seems to me all the hobbies most people have vanish when they settle down and have kids anyway.

    Guys look for looks first. Second they look for 'sweet' and appreciative and loving. And that's about it. What kind of substance are you imagining he wants, beyond being together and being happy?

  • It isn't like she was 18 or 19...a female at 22-23 can have the mental maturity to date a guy in his late 20s.

  • I've heard the best age woman for a man is someone half his age, plus seven years. And that was from two women I worked with.

    Just google "half your age plus seven" and you'll see it's a common phrase.

    So that means I need a girl who's 27 or so...

    Maybe someone inquisitive in the 25 to 29 year old bracket, a brunette. Wonder who fits that bill?

    That is, only if your mom isn't rich and in need of a computer repairman/graphic designer/massage therapist/bodyguard/landscaper/mechanic/writer. We need to balance the scales of life, here.

  • 6-7 years difference is nothing. Seriously, that's nothing. I would just consider that normal.

    Since the beginning of time women have preferred older men and men have preferred younger women (generalizing of course). I've known women who would not even consider a man less than 10 older than her. I've known late 20s-early 30s women who would consider a man her age to not be mature or responsible enough. (btw, I don't agree with that, but that's how they felt)

    Even though some women actually have a preference for older men, I think most of the time it's probably just a matter that they met, fell in love and there is nothing more to read into it. It has nothing to do with gold digging, nothing to do with a younger woman putting out or anything like that. It's just straight forward attraction and love.

    When the age difference is very large there can be some very real practical considerations that need to be addressed. One big one is children. I know a woman who married a man 18 years older. He already had a vasectomy at the time they married, but she thought she didn't want kids. When her biological clock was ticking into her 30s she changed her mind. She still loved him very dearly, but ended up divorcing because he couldn't have kids and didn't want to raise IVF children from a sperm bank. They still loved each other dearly, but they were just at different points in their lives.

    So there are very real issues that need to be addressed with large age differences. But 6-7 years difference is not even close being large enough to worry about stuff like that.

    • i understand. I prefer a guy a few years older than me myself. but I am also going to be 27 next month. I feel like I am definitely in a different mental state than I was when I was 22 or 23. the early 20s you are still developing yourself and figuring out who you are. it isn't until 25 or older that I think people finally start figuring that out and starting careers, etc etc. (for some people it even takes longer).

    • I agree there can be (and probably is) a big difference in maturity between 22 and 29. But you can't read anything into it or assume anything about his motives. Without knowing them, I'd say the most likely thing is that they met, liked each other, and went from there. Even *IF* he is showing her off that doesn't mean that's the *reason* why he is with her. Big difference. *IF* that's what he's doing, be glad you had the chance to get rid of him and move on to someone who's not so shallow.

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What Girls Said 13

  • What could a guy his age have in common with someone that young?

    Probably little if he's at the healthy development phase for his age however that likely doesn't matter to him as in my observations guys pay far more attention to a gal's youth and beauty than what they have in common with her.

    Is it only for booty?

    Likely he mainly wants her for booty however he wants a relationship with her to be more than booty as guys seem to prize and value having a younger partner so they tend to put more effort in the relationship.

    What substance is there?

    Probably little substance though he as guys tend to prefer much younger than gals their own age or gals older than themselves.

    • thank you for your comment. I agree w/your comment!

  • My guy did just the opposite. He's 28, I'm 27 and the woman he dated before me is almost 24. She was a little bytch who cheated and lied and cheated and lied, basically broke his heart. He says now he's happy to be with someone 'on his level' and that losing her was the best thing that ever happened to him. Unless this young lady is really mature for her age, he'll hit it then quit it pretty quick because he'll decide dealing with her bullshyte isn't worth having a cute young thing on his arm.

    • thank you! that's why I feel like this relationship will only last so long once the physical part of it fizzles out. again I don't know this girl, but since she was already showering and leaving her stuff as his place a week or two after we broke up from a 3.5 year relationship, I would say that's pretty slutty haha

  • I'm 20 and In a serious relationship with with a 41 year old man..we fell in love because our compatibility is perfect, and our souls connect on levels much deeper than can be seen by the eye. I can't imagine being with anyone else.

    My life is not in any way restricted by this difference..I am still able to find my own path. I'm happier than I've ever been.

    Your ex might be dating her for arm candy, but there could also be some real substance. If he's happy and there's no harm being done, there's no reason for concern.

    • Thats just gross...he's more than half your age :/

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    • oh get over yourself

      it's not gross. they're both consenting adults

    • How did you two meet lol?

  • Hmmm at 22...even with experience I was not into older guys. I don't know I'm sorry. He probably wanted a 'yes' girl. Ugh.

    • The only thing I can think from HER point of view is that he is an older, good looking guy, has his own place and maybe she thinks its 'cool'. a week after we broke up she already moved her make up bag and shower supplies in!

      if she is smart, she will realize he is a loser and can't actually provide for her in the long run. :P

    • Lol. The bathroom takeover. I've got stuff in my bf's but it was gradual lol. He also wasn't JUST with another girl a week/two weeks before. (More like 2 years) We both have our own place though in our case.

      IMHO, let her find out, she will for sure if he's truly a loser, and seeing that he aimed so low on the age range.

    • thats exactly what I told my ex when I saw it. I think my exact words were ' are you KIDDING ME? what kind of girl is THIS? I didn't even bring my stuff here until at least a yr!' not to mention his shower is DISGUSTING with mildew and mold. part of the reason I didn't shower there - I would go home and reshower lol thanks for your comment :)

  • It all depends. I am only 21, and I've date guys much older than me. The biggest misconception about girls around my age is that we are all crazy party girls and have no "life experience." While this can be true, I don't fit into that stereotype at all. You have to remember that we aren't children, although some still act like them. I have no problem relating to people. I see myself as much more than some "booty."

    However, some guys go for younger girls because they like the idea of someone who is gullible and easily impressed with them. Stupid younger girls sometimes think they are "cooler" for dating an older guy, and the guy likes that. Your ex bragging about being with some "hot new girl" a week after you broke up sounds like he is only going for her as a rebound and as a bragging point. He can tell his friends that his young new girl believes anything he says and will do anything he asks simply because he is older.

    It all depends on the two people involved.

    • i completely agree girls can be mature for their age - infact, I was always one of those girls.

      i also agree with the rest of your post. I feel like the fact that he was with her so soon is an indicator that she IS a rebound. the fact that she was already showering at his place and leaving her personal belongings (make up, razors, shampoo, etc) in his filthy shower gives me the impression this girl is NOT one of those mature girls. nobody does that so soon into a relationship.

    • Yeah, they just seem like they are involved in a fake relationship that makes them both look good or something. It sort of sounds like it is more for show than about actual feelings and commitment. As I am sure you already know, I doubt it will last at all!

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