So should I tell my boyfriend now or wait till holidays?
Imma keep this as short as possible since I don't usually ask qs like this...
I have a boyfriend of almost 2 years but bout a month ago I started losing those feelings of love and sorta began to c him as a brother.
Anyways I met this guy recently... Omg he's amazing:/ like he fits personalities with me so well and I like him ALOT.
My boyfriend still feels I have feelings for him and he knows nothing bout this other guy. This other dude likes me btw.
Before anyone judges me iv had no control over how iv felt and I do feel messed up yet I do feel that I should move on into a new relationship with this person.
I would tell my 'bf' but wer halfway theu semester and I don't want him to get distracted if I break the news now, yet if I wait it out that's not good either:( all that I'm sure of is that I want to be done with it but I'm really afraid:( I hate hurting people but my heart is in another place now and I can't lead him on like this:/
I am 100% sure bout the new guy and that he wiuld be bettr for me. So should I tell my boyfriend now or wait till holidays?
Ur help would mean SO much to me btw
Thank you! X
What's Your Opinion?
Most Helpful Opinion
I'm not judging you. I understand. It doesn't sound like you cheated, yet, anyway, which is also good. Plus, you're right, you can't help how you feel. Emotions are not something you can control. Nobody can. We can only control what we do with them.
I don't think you have any choice in this matter, though. I think you need to tell your boyfriend now, and I think you need to break his heart. Holding out is not fair to either of you, and stringing him along is only going to make things worse for you, and god only knows what will happen in the meantime. Plus, it really doesn't matter when you tell him, he's going to be devastated, and there is no convenient time to break up with anybody. None. There's always something going on. Always a holiday, or a job or work, or something close by in the near future. Somethings always happening.
All in all, there is no good time to do this, and this is not a situation that will get better. So, unfortunately all you can do now is just treat this like ripping off a bandage. Do it quick and hard, so the pain isn't prolonged or dragged out. It will actually do him a kindness. Plus it would be better for you.
So just tell him now. It's better for all of you.
What Guys Said 8
1. I'd say wait till the holidays to break it
2. Break it gently but real fast
3. Don't expect anything cause reactions could swing eitherway
4. Whichever way it goes reactions are general and normal, so guess it's ok
5. What you think is correct - no point in leading on someone when your heart and mind is not at it
6. Don't know how your boyfriend thinks but you better be ready for emotional and social whiplashes
7. The new guy - well that's another situation and arena altogether :)
I am flattered but my heart belongs to Louise Abbott. <3
I'm really sorry that you find yourself in this situation, but if you are absolutely sure about what you are wanting to do, then I can only suggest that you take action as soon as possible. It's unfair on your current boyfriend to lead him along (not that you're doing it intentionally of course!)and make him feel that everything is OK when you know for sure that you don't have those feelings for him anymore and your heart is elsewhere.
The timing might not be ideal, but then again, when is it ever ideal! I think that if you've made your decision in your mind, then you should act upon it as soon as is reasonably possible. You must feel awful and awkward every time you are with your boyfriend knowing how you are really feeling and that he has no idea, so it's best you resolve this situation as soon as possible.
Exactly how you intend to break that news to him, I do not know... I just know that once you're certain of something, then you're best dealing with it as soon as you can.
Again, I'm sorry that you find yourself in this situation and it must be awful for you right now, but hopefully once you have dealt with it and have moved on to this new relationship, you will feel much better!
By the way, if it makes you feel any better, there's nothing you have written that anyone could judge you on or anything that you have done wrong. This is something that can happen to anyone and is completely natural, as awful as it can be and feel.
I wish you all the luck in the world in dealing with this and with your new relationship, if that's what ends up happening. Please feel free to ask me anything if you need further help or advice on this situation... :o)
The sooner the better, nobody is going to judge you. It's not good to stay with him for the sole reason that you don't want to hurt him though.
Honestly it's going to hurt him anyway any time you do it, so you should rip the band aid off as fast as possible and let him heal.
Just tell him everything you told us, that you fell out of love with him.
What Girls Said 2
I'd advice you to break up with as soon as you find a chance to. Don't put it off saying to yourself 'not now I have to find a good opportunity'. Leaving it too late will only complicate it more. Your 100% sure you like this new guy, sit down with your boyfriend tell him the truth. It will hurt him, he might feel betrayed but at least he won't have to hear it from someone else or who knows I'm not saying your a bad girl but sometimes situations arise where we lose control if you know what I'm referring to. So it's better telling him now than later because he could see it as you cheating on him
I think the best thing to do is be as honest as possible. It might hurt him, but if he found out you were with him and didn't want to be with him, that would hurt him even more.