Bullying Gets Better With Age

Bullying Gets Better With Age

Now, I don't mean that literally or that bullying becomes even more painful with age. What I do mean is that bullying eases with age for a variety of reasons. If you're being bullied now, hopefully, this will make you motivated to continue, knowing that the pain you feel today won't last forever. It will stop and when it does, you'll be a much stronger person and you'll see for yourself, the things that are discussed in this take.


When we're in high school, we care too much about things that shouldn't matter like being popular, how many friends we have, how we look or fitting in. Due to this, we care about people's opinions of us a little too much, so when someone insults us or puts us down, we take it to heart and can start believing what they say to be true. However, as you get older, you start to develop a "don't care" attitude and not in a bad sense; you simply start caring about the things that actually matter and you find it easier to dismiss the opinions of those who aren't important to you or your life.

When I was in high school, if I heard someone snigger about me, it would hit my feelings like a punch to the chest, make me paranoid and ruin my day. In college, if it happens, I just smile and don't let it bother me at all because I know there's nothing wrong with me; it's the insecurities of the bullies that's the problem.

Another reason as to why bullying reduces as you get older, is that the bullies themselves grow up and realise it's not normal or acceptable behaviour. Sometimes, they learn more about themselves, ask themselves why they're bullying in the first place and sort out that inner conflict they have and soon stop bullying. This doesn't always happen though; you can still have adult bullies who will never mature and realise their behaviour is destructive, but seeing as most people mature when they get older and develop that "don't care" attitude, they're less likely to put up with bullies.

In my college, there are some girls who still have not grown up and bitch about everyone and anyone. It's literally all they do. Because of this, everyone dislikes them and leaves them to gossip; it's obviously one of the few things that brings them enjoyment in life. We all turn our noses up at them and let them gossip about us because we know that we're the better person for not retaliating or showing our feelings. We basically let them think they're "winning" and that it gets to us, but in our minds, they're the outcasts and all we care about is getting our college
qualification. It's a lot easier to deal with such people with dignified, mature silence, but if they step out of line, some students aren't afraid to speak up. No-one supports these girls or thinks they're good people, so no-one gives them respect they think they'll get by intimidating people. If they say something bad about someone, everyone's quick to support the "victim" and frown upon the bullies.
Eventually, those girls are going to have to get a job, be apart from each other (they work in a group) and they will have to change their attitude and behaviour otherwise they'll remain unemployed. They'll be forced to deal with their behaviour head on.
Those kinds of bullies are late bloomers into adulthood and shouldn't be of any concern to anyone. Or to you.


If you feel like the bullying you're experiencing will never end, think about these realities and believe me, they do happen without fail (apart from those late bloomers). You will be able to get through this. You will be able to finish high school and potentially go through life without ever having to encounter a bully again! Even if you come across the late bloomers, you would've grown a hard exterior and no care attitude by then! They won't bother you half as much as they do now, I promise.

Stay hopeful, ambitious and most importantly, strong.


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What Guys Said 15

  • I got bullied since I was young but I will not bow at the forces.

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  • Uplifting.

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  • Looking over one's shoulder is not necessarily a bad thing. You can be as confident as can be; but that makes no difference.

    Bullies start out attacking you directly. But when they get older, the odds go up they'd be charged with assault for that. So instead, they look for ways to demean you verbally - or manipulate someone in power into doing their dirty work for them. Or just start spreading rumors about you and let the rumor mill do the dirty work for them.

    The point is, it's not enough for them to crush you for their amusement. If they are adults and are still at it, they now know how to crush you to bits whilst simultaneously convincing everyone that *you* are the bad guy! Whether through classic demonization, well-timed crocodile tears, or what-have-you. It's always going to be something sneaky. And they know what buttons to push.

    Bad seeds like that may stop throwing punches themselves, but they never stop trying to hit you where it hurts. They just adopt more sophisticated tactics.

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  • learn to stand up for yourself then bullying wouldn't exist.

    But that can't happen. Weak humans are weak.

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    • I bet people would stand up for themselves. But unfortunately nowadays when most people do stand up for themselves they get punished by the school.

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    • 4 on 1? Try 5-11 on 1. And even at religious schools that ought to know better, it's the same thing: the kid who sticks up for himself is the one that gets punished; not the small army that pursues him looking for trouble.

    • should have learned to use a weapon.

  • I can vaguely remember bullying as a problem at school. Nowadays though if anyone tried to bully me I'd just sack them!

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  • Sadly this won't matter for the teenagers whose bulling was so much out of control they took their own life because of it. One girl here in Holland jumped in front of a train during a class trip it was very tragic. I realize that bullying is a part of life, teenagers care too much about inane shit. But I do hope the support for the victims gets better. Telling children to 'man up' is not the answer.

    That said, I agree with the gist of your take. Sadly, a lot of grownups still bully in one way or another. It a trait that seems hard to get rid off for some.

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  • life isn't easy.

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  • One day I realized that I just didn't care about my bullies anymore. The things they judged me for, and their opinions themselves, it became irrelevant as time passed and I moved away from high school and into college and the rest of life. I don't even see them at all since they moved away, but even if I did there is nothing they can say anymore to bring me down, because nothing they say or care about matters at all to me. If someone bullied me today, I think I'd care a lot less about it. If it's physical, then I will defend myself. But if it's just verbal abuse, I'd just adopt more of a "yeah, whatever" attitude.

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    • Exactly what I was describing in my take. :) Bullying does seem to get easier to manage as you're older and even if it is in the work place, as others have brought up, you're still better able to manage it and you're more likely to report it. I'm glad you're able to handle it better now!

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    • Im into the punk scene too, had long hair, Ramones shirt and sweet leather jacket. He completely ruined my night and my friends. His face must have a scar or two from the glassing and I can only hope they are a reminder to him and he may think twice before harassing and physically attacking complete strangers doing absolutely Nothing wrong and minding their own business

    • @Newtown It sounds like he got what he deserved! Hopefully he's less likely to do it again.

  • That is bull. Most bullying stops IN PERSON in college and university but a lot of college and university students still bully online. I remember people putting me on the spot on facebook and posting the conversation her and I were having and she was 21 years old. Bunch of other people started laughing and making fun of me and they were like in their early twenties as well. I wasn't even being mean. I'm not a bad guy.

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    • As you get older, you develop a thicker skin though. What they do now tends to hurt less than it did when you were younger and you're more likely to report it because you know that's the best thing you can do.
      Like I stated, some people don't grow up for a while, even in their twenties but by then, you're better able to deal with bullying, that's my point.

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    • I am aware but I would assume that people 18+ would be better able to handle people like that.

    • @Hannah591 I can handle people like that and so can most other people 18+ like you said. But you did mention that most people 18+ change and realize the bullying was wrong, etc. I am just saying what you said there was wrong. A tons of people in college still bully, most of them just decide to do it online. I think most women stop it with that type of stuff around their mid 20s and guys in their late twenties. I am just saying you are unaware of how so many people in college are still so cruel.

  • If you're bullying into your adult years, its harassment then first off. Second off, may I take your hand and escort you to the closest jr high/middle school building? Seems you still need to grow up some.

    In all honesty, I think its just plain sad. But if I see people being bullied, for no reason especially, I stand up for them. I remember the days when people saw me being made fun of. Many just kept walking. Some stopped to watch. Others joined! Now, I stand up for myself. Had enough and punched a kid in his face and changed ever since then. Fuck being nice, enough is enough, you know?

    So now, I talk back. I say shit and intensify what you said by a few notches too harsh. You wanna be a hard ass? Well, shit, so can I. Too old for this shit, shouldn't even be bullying in the first place to begin with, grow your bitch ass right the fuck up.

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  • It goes beyond bullying when you're an adult. Especially if you work in a competitive work environment. Your co-workers purposefully sabotage you or set you up and do things to you that can destroy your career for life so they can get a leg up on you. Bullying eventually stops but the things adults will do to each other usually drag on forever.

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  • You couldnt be more wrong. Bullying is everpresent, regardless of age. Possibly because this attitude that it magically gets better with age leads to complacency among older people and bullying is dismissed as "personality" conflicts or differing "perspectives." Both are bullshit, the pruce of living bully free at any age is eternal vigilance.

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    • I'm sure people would be aware if they're being bullied or if it's a personality clash. Either way, they would've matured and hopefully know how to deal with the situation better than they would in school.

    • People are, but adult bullies have a mider range of excuses. Youd think theyd mature, but many dont and simply try and act that way. It isn't something where people suddenly wake up and vow to mend their evil ways. It is not in a bullys nature. They simply come up with more creative excuses to continue their behavior. The only way to stop them is to stand up to them at any age.

  • bullying becomes more distant with age. Instead of your peers making fun of you for being gay they pass laws against you. Instead of peers making racist jokes cops kill you for being black. I am sorry, I know this is up posed to be uplifting but I think people should be aware of how the bullying is just done via government and politics later on.

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    • This isn't about homosexuality, gay rights or racism. This is about average bullying in school, for looking/being different. There's no need to make it morbid or bring in totally different situations that are out of people's control.
      Most homosexuality laws have been lifted anyway and homosexuality is being more accepted by the day. Blacks being killed is a whole other level of authoritative corruption, not bullying, it's just prejudiced harassment from authority figures that is usually dealt with respectively.
      Please don't make this take more complicated than it needs to be.

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    • They've been trying to tackle bullying for years and still are. I'm not going to be able to solve bullying in a myTake and I'm sure there are hundreds of myTakes already written about bullying so I wanted to write something different. I simply wanted to give people hope and share "my take" on it from my own experiences but you're knocking it down. Fair enough, disagree, but see this take for what it is.

    • fair enough its more of an emotional reaction I have to this stuff. I just get angry when people seem to be saying something is not as bad as it is. But I appreciate what you did I guess. Sorry then.

  • maybe, but if you're being bullied now, the ideal situation would be for it to stop as soon as possible.

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    • If they feel like the bullying will never end, even after high school, then this myTake is directed to them and also what happens as you get older. It's something I see time and time again.

  • I never gave bullies a chance

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What Girls Said 8

  • This is very true. When we are young, we don't have the experience of how to say the perfect thing or handle something. As we age, we go through these different experiences and learn what works.

    As a teen, I couldn't tell someone to stick it up their ass, but now as an adult - with someone like my boss attempting to bully me, I have told him to stick it up his ass and have learned how to say and do things so that I can nip it in the bud before he learns how to get away with being a jerk. I find that as I get older these things become natural and less reactive, but more assertive.

    I can just see myself by the time I'm ninety years old, really being one of those old women who isn't going take one iota of crap from anyone, anywhere because I'll have all my comebacks perfected. LOL

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  • I used to get bullied in middle school until I set them straight. But the main issue with bullying now is "online bullying". I know this myTake is to help those going through it but it's hard to develop thick skin when your ex post naked pictures of you on revenge porn sites or a picture someone takes of you turns into a meme. Online anonymity has made bullying worse. The laws haven't caught up with the times. I'd like to see more prosecution of bullies who were the result of someone committing suicide.

    Oh and in regards to bullying in college we mustn't forget hazing.

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    • What your ex did was harassment and is illegal. You should've reported him to the police.

    • Heh heh, no. That never happened to me. I'm writing in general terms. I would never send nude photos (maybe to my future husband) to anyone. Unfortunately it's only illegal in some states.

  • I totally agree with all the points stated in your take. By the way, how did you add the faded lines to your take? I tried to do that, and it ended up making myTake look sloppy. :P

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    • I just pressed the line button! I think they had some issues at first but they've sorted it now. :)

    • Oh thanks! I already posted my take, and I realized how stupid it looks it looks on my phone. :P I just used the underscore key, now everyone is going to make fun of me haha

  • I don't think they were late bloomers. They actually sped life much faster than anyone else. They'd get married early, pump babies out straight after that, put on weight and LLOOOOOOk way older than their actual years of living. I noticed the bullies would turn into the quiet ones later in life too even if they weren't rushing through life for babies.

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  • This is why if I ever have children, I'm putting them in martial arts. I was taught that if someone throws an insult at you, you catch that shit and throw it right back at them. I had to learn to sharpen my wit, so that if someone tried something I could cut them down. Not everyone is able to do that. Therefore I suggest self defence training. NEVER let some asshole or bitch put you down or make you feel like you are less than a human being. You all are so much better than that.

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    • Well bullying is not always physical though. There's a lot of emotional bullying that goes on in high school

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    • I strongly agree with @Rpunzel2490.

      I had a "friend" once who, when I was having a bad day, would do or say things to make my day worse. He was a morbidly obese individual so my guess is he's take on life was to put others down to make himself feel better.

      I was a laid-back guy until one day I just wasn't having it. I told the guy to shut his mouth or I send him to the hospital or cemetery, his choice (on and off with MMA for four years now). I burned the bridge and cut him out of my life; he was useless to me.

      If I ever see the guy again, I don't believe I'll hold back.

      I'm not trying to sound like a macho man but there are individuals that truly deserve a proper beating.

    • @TheGreenRanger no no not sounding tough at all. Just means you have a backbone and won't accept subpar behavior from some asshole. Nobody should!

  • What I do is just not give a f*ck. lol

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  • I used to be cyber bullied and back when I was 21 and some of people that cyber bullied me some were close to my age one was the same age as I was back then and then were some who younger then me young as 17 and 16 and most of the people that cyber bullied me were girls and it was from a few guys but mostly it was lots of girls and it was on sites like stardoll whattpad vside and meez and pulseit and I had to quit going to sites so I stopped going to those sites and I now keep going on gag Twitter tumbler YouTube Pinterest and the app younow

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    • Wow... sorry to hear about that. I don't use whattpad but my friend and her niece do. This is the first I heard of bullying going on there.

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    • @Pinkbeauty I told her how so many people still bully in their college years, but they just decide to do it online. I was bullied online by tons of women and men in their college years a couple of years ago. They were in their early twenties. Most bullying stops in person in college but not online. Most of the women that bully online (which is a ton) stop bullying online once they get to their mid twenties and most guys that bully online (which is a ton) stop bullying online once they get to their late twenties. It is late twenties and not mid twenties like it is for women, since guys take longer to mature than women.

    • that sucks I'm sorry u got bullied Manuelmarquez i also didn't know that people get bullied in college

  • true, like in 7th grade people really didn't like me because of my phycal appearance, they HATED ME and everybody was just so hateful just because they didn't like how I looked. I was always told I was ugly and hideous and had little to no friends. until 8th grade and all of a sudden everyone stopped calling me ugly. like only 2 guys told me I was ugly in one whole year. ( that's crazy) heck, I even started talking to some guys and one even found me attractive. so yeah, things get better with time.

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