Dear (some) white people,
When I was in the third grade one of you actually sat next to me and said, "if I were a slave owner back in the olden days, I would have been really nice to you." Um, follow up questions...why are you a slave owner in the first place, and does that imply you aren't nice to others, and why the hell are you even thinking about this since we live (at the time) in the 20th century? Welcome to my world. My black, black world. A world where you look me square in the eye and tell me you treat everyone equally because you are color blind, and yet the only people you ever tell that to are people of color. Yup, I live in a world where some of you think its okay to just touch my hair without asking or who ask me incredulously why it is you can't say the N word. Are you asking because you want to say it, and then why is that you want to say it so bad? I'll wait. Oh and just to clear things up, I am a black person who doesn't use the N word, doesn't listen to it in music, doesn't condone others using it with me...so please tell me why ALL black people use the N word. I haven't enough lungs full of air to let out enough sighs at that one.
Almost everyday of my life I just wish we really could all just get along. For some reason some of you seem to think all I think about every day is who is or isn't racist and why everything is the white man's fault. I'm flattered you think I'm that obsessed with you, but I literally have other shit to do other then focus all my life's energy on some of you. And yes, I'm aware I'm currently writing about some of you, but trying to make a point here. Stay with me.
We are not all equal. I'll say it again. We...are...not..all...equal. Anyone who actually believes we are probably doesn't understand either entitlement, privaledge, or basically our entire world. There are so many parts of my life that no amount of hard work, long hours, and upstanding citizenship will make better for me. In the 90s my parents were looking for a house. The realtor was a nice enough lady, showed us around, but my dad, talking to some people about better neighborhoods, asked if he could see a home on, lets just all it, the ritzy side of town. The realtor kept flaking on the question whenever he'd asked until she finally admitted that she was not going to show any houses on that side of town to "people like us." My parents both had perfect credit, my dad has his Ph.D. and neither of my parents has any type of criminal record. My mom, has her Masters, great job, went to church every Sunday, and with my dad, helped raise us kids (why did I even need to explain that to you?) Tell me what exactly we did to deserve that treatment? What more in life could any of us have done to be treated equally in that moment? This is the level at which some of you white people just don't get it. Some of you think everything can be solved by us working harder and not complaining or doing anything about racism. That's like saying if someone were punching your kid, oh, just wait and see until the bad guy stops on his own. Is that really what you would do if you were me?
To put it into further perspective, do you realize that in order to take one flag down in this country, nine people had to die. Not just nine. Nine perfect black people. They had to be involved in politics. They had to be praying in church. They had to be mostly older individuals. They had to have no criminal backgrounds. All of this had to be in place simply for some of you to even believe that we are people capble of suffering injustice and racism and still some of you said why did they allow that man into the church with them in the first place as if to somehow make it their fault they were murdered. You have no idea how much that hurts. The only other way we can be believed now is if there are cameras involved. There is a cop right now who would have probably gotten away with murder, if not for a tape taken by a bystander. Why is there such a double standard by which we live where one life is much more valuable than another based on the color of the skin? Why must we prove beyond a shadow of a doubt via cameras, or why must it come from the lips of a white person, in order for some of you to think of us as victims of crime/hatred/racism?
I don't want your sympathy. I don't want apologies for slavery. I don't want your pity hug. The truth is that some of you are racists. There are some white racists! Accept it. Some of you, more than are willing ot admit, often stand by in compliance in your silence accepting the things they say and do becuase you take absolutely no action against them. How is that any better if you are willing to acknowledge that what they are saying and doing is absolutely wrong but do nothing about it. This is why I want to talk about our issues with one another because peering over the fence and assuming all black people are one way or all white people are one way, gets us no where. You cannot re-write history to make your ancestors out to be what they weren't so that you can feel better about yourself. We must use history to learn from our mistakes. You have people today who say, well, slavery is over, what's the problem, but slavery isn't over. There are now slaves of every nationality and in every country on earth in this modern age from children to adults. The only way real and lasting change is going to happen is if we are open with one another. When we allow each other to express our pain, our mutual confusion, our mutal ignorance of one another, our shame, our sameness, and what makes us different and unique. That is where we can start to stop fearing one another, and treating each other as the only true word for equality: human.