Gosh, I dont know how long I have dealt with social anxiety. My parents even told me that I had it when I was a toddler. I didn't like being around people or anything. It is a constant battle the older I get, the more opportunities I have. I am 15 now. I attended public school my first year and it was emotional pain. I will NOT be doing that this year because I honestly refuse. I will be doing home school where there are no classrooms, campuses, teachers. There won't be crowds and crowds in general.
I want to share my story just to get it out and hopefully connect with others who are suffering. Social anxiety can also cause a lot of depression which is also what I have. This is what it is like: Im afraid to eat drink write or even talk in front of anyone, hate large crowds, can not talk to anyone in authority, have a hard time walking past anyone, I don't even like being around my parents at all, I hate being around family, I can not order anything, scared to death to read out loud or to present. I basically have a hard time doing ANYTHING around anyone.
It's a struggle. Sometimes you can never see the symptoms. A person can hide them so well just so they won't be judged by society. You really try to hide it but your anxiety controls you. You just can't get over it. I would sit in my rooms for days and days, lights off, just music. I would only come out for food, bathroom, or to shower. I strangely 100% enjoy being by myself. It's not a crime and yes, I have been judged for it at times by kids......saying that even a five year old can read out loud or ask for food......talk to anyone....walk right up to strangers. It was tough being compared to a small child.
What people don't understand is, anyone at any age, any race, can get anxiety. It affects a lot of people these days because of how judgmental society is. I would also hear that my fears (that were listed earlier) were so irrational and childish. It's a constant torture because it really holds you back in life and it's really hard to overcome. I was forced to do homeschooling because I JUST COULDN'T do public school. Sometimes I don't even want to see friends, and yes I sometimes even get uncomfortable around family. I can say anything without feeling anxious, if it's online or texting.....because I'm not speaking out loud or seeing someone's face.......that's my story....and I could NEVER say any of this out loud to anyone....#socialanxiety