A culture of submission

A culture of submission

From everything I have learned in my life it is the dangers of submission. Now before I get to far let's discuss the meaning of the word itself.

Submission: Ready to conform to the authority or will of others; meekly obedient or passive.

So by definition we learn that the word is about conformity and obedience. These themselves can be use full to both an individual and society, but never can you give either your will and retain your individuality at the same time. The more you submit the more you loose who you are as a person as you add little bits and pieces of those ideas or people you submit to. Thus I have learned the dangers of submission.

In discussing this topic I think that it is important to say that I am talking about all forms of submission, being suuhbmissive to religion, a partner (both sexually and in a relationship), or a government.

Submission takes many forms and now that we have a solid understanding of what I am referring to we can get to the heart of the matter.

Submission is created from a lack of self. It is respecting others more than you respect yourself. It is created from a culture of fear of the self and causes a blindness and limits our capacity to do great things. A person trades control for safety and often has a kind of relief or "high" in doing so. This does create a temporary happiness and has some positive effects on the brain... For a time. Eventually (like most addictions) the person must submit more and more often to achieve the desired effects and ultimately will loose themselves to their submission.

This is not to say we should not respect others, it is to say we should follow eachother as individuals and not just follow because we are afraid to take control of our own lives. There is a benefit to fear and it should be understood that I speak not of a lack of fear, but the ability to understand why we fear, so that we may learn and understand what the cause is. We must never submit to the fear and get caught up in an endless cycle of never learning or progressing. Understanding does not however mean acceptance, I understand fully why someone would rape someone else but I do not accept it because it is a domination of will and our will is what drives us to progress and create. On the opposite end it does not mean that we can no create compromise either, to compromise is an agreement by both parties on equal standing in which you both agree to make a change that will benefit each individual in the long term.

Submission is a byproduct of fear and as such create passiveness and the individual becomes stagnant and stale. We have come to accept that we can not change ourselves and even worse we have done so under the ideal that we must accept the things we can not change. While there are things we can not change by ourselves or even in one lifetime we can spark the creative flame that will ultimately lead to fruition.

Take a look back on history and all the great people who would not submit to the ideas held before them. The Wright bothers decided that humans could fly, they did not accept that we could not change. Even Steve Jobs refused to accept that his company could not change and created the ipod, using ideas that had not yet been thought of yet to revolutionize not just his company but the world itself.

There are a few things we surely can not change (for instance we can not change the harmful effects of herion) as this is a rule of cause and effect. We can however learn to change the cause and by doing so create a new and better effect, but we can only do this by accepting that we have to define who we are as individuals.

My point being that we are capable of anything with enough time. Why then do we choose to accept submission as ok. We can follow without being submissive. I would even say that when we follow without submission we learn even more and can understand more about ourselves from the people we follow. We can then learn to lead for the next generation and they will become even more creative and stronger.

Some could argue that some people just know they are submissive and that is who they are as individuals, but that is to accept that those people have no power to change, and that is a humans greatest power. So I would say no, they are not that way by nature, but by the inability to see their own self because they have accepted that they can not change.

These are the dangers of submission.


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What Girls Said 10

  • Its not fun being a corporate slave.

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  • It's annoying when people try to rationalize how it really man strength bc it's hard to do or it's a choice. Submission isn't a choice it's what happens to a person not what they choose to do. It's when their will is not their own. People who talk about freely submitting don't understand freedom or don't understand submission or both.

    No one is just submissive by nature. It's not human. To be submissive just means you never had an opportunity to realize your strength. It means your spirit is blocked. It is not natural.

    I don't have a probe, m with your article. I was relieved it went another culture of submission as in here's how to be a good submissive or how to understand submissive as if it's a " type" and nit an oppressed person.

    Sometimes people say submissive when they just mean non confrontational or quiet or Non aggressive are not the same thing. Nor is aggression the opposite of submission. A persons power can be used against their will. Like gladiator slaves.

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    • I did write this my take to help clarify the meaning of submission. I tried to look at it from the definition and etymology of the word iself and have found that often times the meaning is changed based on personal definition (as is probably the case with most words)
      I would like to say that I think submission is very natural, especially as a survival mentality goes. I mean we lived in a culture saturated with slaves and caste systems for thousands of years so it's definitely been added to our chemistry as a defensive mechanism.
      What I think is that we as a species have come to a point where we no longer need to submit. The only reason to submit is because someone could protect you in areas where you could not, because they understood more than you did so you had no choice. Now however all the information you could ever want to understand something is at your fingertips so instead of relying on someone else we can take charge of our own lives and reach our full potential.

    • Submitting in love means being willing to consider more than just your own agenda. That's why it's described by Paul as a two-way process. A man may have headship in the house, but that doesn't make him a dictator. A woman may have a say, but that doesn't mean she can play puppeteer. Children may be able to give input, but that doesn't mean blatant disrespect for its own sake is okay.

      Is that a clear enough definition? That's what Michele Bachmann tried to explain to an audience once, and it used to be understood by the majority to mean that. In only a few decades, however, that understanding has been lost. Which is why she was mercilessly ridiculed by NBC for stating the once-accepted definition.

  • In order to give over my freedom to someone I need to feel secure. I have not found someone I trust with my health and well being. And no I do not agree with your definition that lack of self equals submission to others. It is the Lack of self that would drive someone to want to submit. It is the Lack of self that drives the other to dominate both are using the other to fill their lack.

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    • These ultimately are ways to resolve lack just as shopping or going to church are ways to resolve lack. The lack I'm referring to is the wonder and shadows within our self. The sense that we are lacking something and need some thing to fill the void we feel.

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    • That was actually part of the point of my take is to say that we use the word submission in the wrong context. Submit elvolved from the term used to describe an enslavement. It's the difference between obedience and meek obedience. I think it's fine to be obedient, even to say it's often beneficial, but never giving over up your own will in the process. I work for my boss but never does he truly have my will, for I am not his slave but someone who agreed to do a job for a price.
      To add a little to this in the are of sexually I can still say I don't think it is actually submission but a controlled enactment of submitting (obviously even pretending it's still dangerous but that's why trust is important) I mean you are letting your guard down but again at the same time you retain your will enough to end the scene at any time. I think being able to explain that difference will help a lot more people understand what it is you enjoy and even become more accepting and understanding :)

    • @Azara No need to get mean. I partially wrote this to hear all sides of the story, how can we understand a situation if we decide we already know everything there is to know about it?

  • I agree, I don't understand submission/dominance outside of sexual relationships I think it's fun when it comes to sexual things though. I've never understood people who mindlessly follow others or idolize power.

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    • To be honest when I started the trail of thought that lead to this post it was because I had been in a relationship with a switch and it made me very uncomfortable so I sought out ways to understand my feelings. (I am very vanilla and though I do enjoy adding a little kink now and again I've never taken it to such a defined level) Ultimately I was able to understand the appeal and was able to determine that the issue I held is not with the fantasy itself but the way in which we perceive the fantasy. I can say now that in a sexual situation of the dom/sub relationship that it is a role play of those situations where the couple has rules set up to ensure that the sub hasn't full given up control and so that the dom doesn't truly have the ability to assert their will onto the sub. I know that seems like a very small and subtle difference but knowing that difference is very important in understanding what those actions imply about the self.

    • I agree, I would never be in a situation like that without doing so with someone I loved and trusted in the first place. Things like that for role playing are just fun sometimes, outside of that, I need someone to respect me as an equal and I need to respect someone as my equal as well. I could never be in a relationship where one person was the leader lol

  • I only submit in the bedroom.

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    • If you are truly submitting I worry for you, but if you have rules then I ask that you at least hear me out. I do not think that you can truly submit if you have rules in place for two reasons.
      1) You fear that situation in an uncontrolled circumstance and use this as a measure to control said situation.
      2) You are doing for your own pleasure and as such have personal motive and are putting yourself into a position that will give you that pleasure.
      I would say this is not an act of submission as long as you have rules you will always retain that measure of control over the dominant party, keeping a sort of safety net to prevent any true domination or submission from occurring until the scene is played out.

    • I know that seems really nitpicky and like it may not matter as a difference, but showing that difference between role playing and actual submission could help quite a few people understand themselves better and be able to practice those acts in a safer and healthier way. It may also help explain it to people who may not understand these behaviors.

  • https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HpBq_jBUY6I

    So while i do agree, i did want to add this to the discussion because i thought it was quite interesting. So basically Jack Gleeson (played King Joffrey on GOT) talks about fame and what's interesting about his talk is that he looks at theories regarding fans and basically why people may look to celebrities or other social leaders for inspiration or direction... Basically why we might submit to celebrity culture. It's pretty interesting.

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    • I really liked that. I agree with a lot of his points and was happy he stated the benefit of admiring our leaders but not subjugating ourselves to them. Very well worded.

  • This is great! You should read a writer called Etienne de la Boetie, more specifically "Discours de la servitute volontaire" - in English "Discourse of voluntary servitude". It's exactly about your take's subject and it was a response to the authoritarian theories of Machiavelli
    The word "servitude" comes from the Latin word"servus", which means slave. La Boetie wants to tell us that we all WANT to be slaves of our nation.

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  • The best advice I've ever relieved was from my former boss about submitting to others wills and desires in a relationship. never be submissive in a relationship and don't let others try to manipulate you into doing so. You on your own are doing what's best for you and at the end of the day you only have yourself. I am not your therapist, your addiction, your relief, your comfort, I am just myself.

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  • Ok, I firstly would like to say I did NOT read all that, too long, but the title was catchy. What I did read I liked tho... don't take it too personal, I've read a lot today. You make some good points.

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  • Wow. can't argue with this. One of the best MyTakes I have read so fat.

    Great topic u chose too.

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What Guys Said 9

  • This is a great post. Has enough for intellectuals to think about and consider while also accessible enough for people who don't want to challenge their minds to at least understand how submission works.

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  • I totally agree with you, but I also believe that we are surrounded by submission. Right from the time that a child learns to crawl and roam, we learn who protect us, and learn to trust them.

    The problem is when it comes to what society wants. Which is people with university degrees. People who can do paper work and can do what people above them want them to do.

    I went to college, and I cannot get work in my field. But if I went to university for another 3-5 yeas society would have accepted me.

    Now I am trying to get a small business going. I learned how to make an electric guitar, and do some repair work with guitars. I also make my own guitar pickups which turn the vibrations from the string into electrical signals. Anyways, everybody I tell says that there is no future in that, and it may be true, but I also feel that there can be a future, especially nowadays with the Internet and the way we can connect with other businesses and things like that.

    I just hope the something starts going positively in my life because it's getting annoying to be on the verge of nothing all the time. And annoying to hear parents and concerned relatives say, there's a job opening at Honda cars factory. Like I am some dumb FUCK with no skills, talents or abilities.

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  • it's called living in society.

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  • Good take. It's fine to be cohesive, and working together, or for people out of consent. But not to be a slave or lose your free will or who you are.

    Could you help me on my question pls? It's about a girl who seems to want me to be submissive to her? Would appreciate your thoughts given your take! It's on my profile page if you are interested and have a moment!

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  • I almost stopped taking you seriously because of your spelling and grammar, but I know that doesn't always equal bad advice.

    I did, though, stop taking you seriously here:

    "... but never can you give either your will and retain your individuality at the same time. The more you submit the more you loose who you are as a person as you add little bits and pieces of those ideas or people you submit to."

    That's beyond silly. To state that submission destroys individuality displays a rather shallow view of the world; on the surface, it would appear to do so. But in truth, if one submits by choice, it is because they already agreed in some way with whatever they are submitting to, and feel safe and comfortable with it; if one submits because they have no other choice, their individuality may be suppressed, but it is not destroyed. They will still have a desire for freedom, and to do any things they would like to do as a person that they are forbidden to do in submission to whatever it is that forced them there. In neither case is individuality lost, though the latter is a very undesirable and unethical situation.

    In cases of unhealthy submission, where one wishes to become like someone else, it is because they either already lack an identity, or because they hate themselves for some reason. This does not make submission itself dangerous, any more than the fact that inhaling marker fumes can cause brain damage makes markers dangerous. It's how it's employed in one's life that makes it one or the other.

    I understand what you're trying to say. Yes, blindly following other people is bad. But submission isn't always that; it can be a very healthy thing so long as who or what you submit to is someone or something you trust, and someone or something that cares about you. And when you submit, do not be brainless or spineless. Obviously, you should question things, as every person should, submissive or not. You should make your own decisions in regards to you, as every person should. Maybe that doesn't meet your definition of submission, if you can think for yourself. Maybe that should change. :P

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    • Ah I can see what you are saying, and perhaps I could have phrased it better.
      What I mean to say is that when you submit, you conform (by definition) and that is the opposite of what it means to be an individual. The word individual is defined by the quality or character of a particular person or thing that distinguishes them from others of the same kind, especially when strongly marked. The more submissive you become the less you have that sets you apart.
      I think that you have the wrong definition of submission when you state that people choose to submit. I think that these people who do it correctly in your eyes are not submitting but have learned how to follow. It is the difference between obedience and meek obedience. Those who listen are often rewarded with knowledge that they may choose to add to themselves or walk away from, while those who meekly obey will just become what they are told to become since they have no direction will slowly become that thing, reguardless of intent.

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    • It is difficult to explain. But here goes nothing.

      A person who is out to use other people will not respect you for placing yourself below them. They assume that is the way that it should be, and give you no merit, because they are not humble or selfless, and truly believe themselves to be better than you. These people are not worth your time.

      A person who understands what it means, and does not assume themselves to be above you, will give you great respect for doing so, because they can see how much you care about them. These are the people you want to build relationships with.

      While I can see what you're saying, the world you are proposing sounds like a selfish and lonely one to me, similar to the one we live in. A world where nobody ever fully trusts anybody but themselves.

      If my statement seems idealistic, it's because it is; I'd prefer to strive for a world that's better than this one and never get there, than accept the world as it is, personally.

    • I agree that idealistic ideas like that are definitely good.
      I personally do not like it when people submit to me not because I want to use them, but for the exact opposite reason. I do not want to use them, even if that is their will. I want them to make a choice for themselves, not attempt to rely on another to make choices for them.
      I do not feel as this would be a lonely world at all. People like to be around other people and I dont think that would ever change. We are all similar in some reguard so it's not like we won't want to help people. I know I love to help pick people up, it feels good to help someone who's in a bad spot, but I can't do that if they are being submissive, it has to come from within.

  • Women's liberation is the cause of most of society's problems

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    • Is that just anger talking?

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    • But you didn't show any facts.

    • You can't see them. You can only listen to them talking...

  • Only the proletariat belive in the value of submission, the rest of us stand above.

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  • To clarify, Steve Jobs was nothing more then a pitch man/con man. He did not invent a single thing but stole what others did and accepted credit for it. Steve Wosniak invented the computer, Steve Jobs couldn't even code let alone build a computer. He extorted his employees, forced his foreign workers (he was asked if he would bring jobs back to america to help the economy, he laughed in there face saying he could pay less if their products where manufactured abroad and had no intention of bringing jobs back) to work insane hours to the point where in one factory alone there was sixteen suicides, and one attempted in a very short period of time, he had them install nets so they would stop jumping off the building but made no attempt at altering there contracts and work hours. When he was rehired he killed all charitable programs that apple had set up in his absence all while acting as if he was a hippie in touch with the community. He was like a modern day Edison, only Edison at least invented something. Now that that rant is over, I agree with your take, we do live in a society that is rather submissive. Its the whole system thats in place. Let me put it this way, I was filling applications and every one of them had multiple questions asking if I obeyed authority, if I would go along with what ever I was told even if it was wrong. Its built in to our system, Every one is submitting to some one else and I think that it has impacted us on a personal level. People are forgetting what its like to have self respect because we keep forcing them to abandon it if they want a job, an education, a career, pay raise, promotion etc. Its actually a really sorry state. Over all (with the exception of the steve jobs remark) good take.

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  • Well, it's an informative and a meaningful take, a very good indeed.

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