If you are a girl or woman out on your own, there are some basic survival skills you need to learn RIGHT NOW. Here is a list of things I wish someone would have warned me about before moving to the big city. Though I often refer to "young girls" or "women in the big city" this article applies to any girl/women:
A Young Woman's Survival Guide - What I Wish My Parents Told Me Before Moving Out On My Own...
Avoid Being Scammed
Moving to a Bigger City: Many guys/men living in the big city, are aware that small city girls are a bit more trusting/naive than big city girls. They see you as an easy prey for their schemes. They will try to get you involved in legal OR illegal activities that will help THEM make money, but make you believe YOU are the one who will benefit from the experience. There are many different ways they may try to trick you, here are a few:
a) Sex trafficing is more common than you think: Pimps are everywhere... They will find your weakness. If you have a broken family for example, or living in the city alone they will make you feel like you could be like family with them. They may say things to make you feel special. Make it sound like what they ask of you is not as big of a deal as you think. They often seem charming at first but eventually (once you being to like them) attempt to make you feel powerless or dumb as a form of manipulation. They may make promises, like agreeing that you can stop the deed in question anytime you wish, but they will never tell you the conditions until it's too late. They say you're life will be so much easier if you start working in the adult industry, but it's all just a lie. If you ever try to leave, they will make threats and you will be left more broken and penny-less than you originally were.
There are different forms of sex trafficing methods. Let's continue to look at pimps for now. Pimps don't usually call themselves that. They will tell you anything they think you want to hear so that you may feel more comfortable in trying out the deed in question (ex. exotic dancer, escort, massage parlour girl etc...) They may even tell you that you don't need to become an escort or ever sell your body for sex to make money. They often start out by saying that you won't ever need to do anything you don't want to do. Repeat after me "THEY ARE LYING". They get gready for money and no matter how good they are at romancing you in the beginning, the hard truth is that pimps don't actually care about you. They are just in it for the money. It's nothing more than business. Once you start with a pimp, they will begin pressuring you into doing things you don't want to do and will become violant with you (physically and/or verbally) if you don't obey. All they care about it the money THEY will be making from YOU. Remember that. You can not trust ANYONE (man OR female) in the adult industry who offers to help you get started, and/or who offers safety in exchange for a cut of your money. You will quickly learn that you guys are not a team, but instead, YOU are working for HIM/HER. Moreover, all that money you make... they will take it for themselves and no matter what lies they tell you, you will never see that money once they touch it.
As a sheltered or small city girl/woman, the idea of being an escort or exotic dancer may be exciting at first, but you will quickly learn how ugly the industry can truly be, especially when you are involved with the wrong people... Nothing is as it seems from the outside looking in. If you want to be an exotic dancer for example, there are better ways to go about it than putting your trust in someone else's hands, who will just take advantage of you. Find out about CLEAN, safer clubs by checking out reviews online and asking around. Do your research. Become an independent worker and earn your OWN money where you don't have to share it with people who want to control and manipulate you. If you need more tips, I will be writting an artice very soon. You can also private message me.
2. Other Money Scams: There are a variety of money scams going around. For example: you may be asked to do illegal things in exchange for money. DON'T DO IT. Predators will make you believe there is no way you can get caught. The truth is, if that were true, THEY would just be doing the dirty work themselves! Think about it... if they were not worried about being sent to jail, why would they spend a bunch of their own money to pay someone else to do it for them? They look for sweet, innocent-looking girls/women who are desperate for money to do their dirty deeds. They figure the chances of someone suspecting you will be slimmer. This could happen to anyone, but cute young white girls are especially targeted. If you get caught, you WILL go to jail and your whole life will be ruined. Is it really worth it?
3. How to avoid being an easy target for preditors
a) Be careful to whom you share personal information with.
I never used to understand the importance of not sharing personal information with people. Some reasons are obvious. Never share where you live or common places you hang out in case someone wants to hurt or abduct you. But what about other pieces of information? What should or shouldn't you share and why? Let me tell you right now. There are bad people everywhere in the world. Since more people live in the big city, you WILL come accross more bad people than you may be used to in a smaller city. There are predators all over looking for people who fit certain descriptions or criterias. For example: Pimps look for girls they believe could easily be manipulated. They may ask you where you come from, how long you've been living in the big city for, if you live alone, if you have many close friends or family members, if you have family in the city, if you have a boyfriend, what you do for work, what you are studying, etc... If the predator learns that you are a single female, coming to the big city with no close friends or family, and work 3 jobs to pay for an expensive College tuition they will automatically flag you as an easy candidate to manipulate. What he/she learned about you through the information you gave them, is that you may get very lonely living far out on your own, and that you probably get very exausted and stressed out by having to work so hard just to pay the bills and get through College.. He can now use this information to tempt you into doing things you may not normally do if money was not an issue, or if you had people actively involved in your life to hold you accountable for your actions. This is one of many examples on how dangerous giving out information can be. The truth is, anyone can be a candidate for something, so know your weaknesses, and don't give out any information that gives them away unless you are sure you can trust the person you share it with.
4. Online dating sites: I found that many predators actually do go online to find their victims. Sites like plenty of fish for example. The guys/girls pose as: "looking for a relationship", and once he/she begins to earn your trust and maybe even your heart, they start to tell you your life could be so much easier... They will make you curious to know what they mean by that and then "BAM!!"... next thing you know you've been tangled into something you never originally wanted part in, and it was all done so smoothly!!. There are MANY ways people you meet can get you caught up in a scam, this is just one of many example.
Please share this with people you know. I have been through so many things since I moved out on my own to a bigger city. I used to just believed that people should want to be good to one another. What I've learned is that most people in the big city don't just do things for free. If someone is being overly nice or helpful, always pay attention to what they may want in return. Everyone has a motive. Make sure you are willing to pay the price before accepting the kindness. Think to yourself "Is it worth it?". I also challenge you to realize not everyone DESERVES your time and kindness. Don't loose your kindness, but do guard and protect yourself when needed. Only make time for people who are genuinely good to you and benefit in improving your life. If anyone is trying to bring you down or seems to be giving you ill advice too often, don't be afraid to cut them loose. Your job as a single woman is to protect yourself. It may feel that some of the things I've mentioned would never happen to you, but trust me, these are very common and real events. I write this in hopes that other girls/women may avoid making the same mistakes I've made.
Today I am happy, successful and strong. No matter how bad things can get, the sun must always shine sooner or latter. Moreover, when I think back to all that I've been through in the past few years, I'll admit at times I feel quite hurt and frustrated. I hate that I let so many people take advantage of me. It sickens me to think of all the horrible people who willingly victimized me and are still out there today doing the same thing to other young girls and/or women. Never undervalue yourself. Don't give anyone that type of power over you. No predator deserves you, your time or your kindness. You can and WILL achieve great things, all you need to do is stay focused on your goals and keep believing. Taking the "easy way out" only ends up being much more complicated and dangerous than anticipated. Do not trust anyone until they are PROVEN trustworthy. In conclusion always remember that: Your money, is YOUR money. Your body, is YOUR body. And your future, is YOUR future. Don't ever let ANYONE take that aways from you.
Share this with people you know. If this article can prevent just one girl/woman from having to go through half the stuff I went through, than I've done my job. If it can help hundreds, or even thousands of women, even better! Don't let others make the same mistakes I've made. Share this article.
- Lee G