There IS such a thing as being "too nice"!

Everything in moderation. Too much of a good thing will eventually be bad.
In this myTake I will discuss why being "too nice" is indeed, a bad thing. So let's begin!

1. It's boring.

I'm not saying you should act like an asshole to spice things up. But being too nice all the time is like putting a shield up. Nobody constantly agrees on everything that everyone has to say, that's simply not possible. If you're constantly this happy-go-lucky person who is ALWAYS fine with doing anything, agreeing with anything, seeing anyone and helping anyone with literally anything, you start to come off as a very bland person who doesn't have any views and interests of your own. It's like you just tag along for the sake of tagging along and pleasing everyone else. It's hard to read people like this. It's difficult to understand what they're really thinking, because obviously not everything in life is always fine and dandy, and obviously you don't always want to do everything. Sometimes, you just want someone to challenge you a little. Someone who can offer different views and perspectives. Having someone agree with you all the damn time is like eating the same food over and over. It becomes bland. And boring.

2. It's predictable.

You're always the go-to person when someone needs or wants something. You will, every single time, drop everything you're doing to help everyone with everything. It doesn't matter if it's an inconvenience to you, or if you really don't have the time. Because everyone knows you'll do it anyway. Of course it's a good thing to be a reliable person, but you need to have your own life. And that's perfectly ok! People are otherwise going to end up using this side of you, so you need to show them that you have your own life and your own problems that you need to fix first.

3. You'll just end up hurting yourself.

People are going to use you. Constantly. They will see what a doormat you are, and walk all over you. They will take your money, rip your heart out and throw you around like a sack of potatoes. Having a spine and being careful when choosing who to help is SO important. It shows confidence. It shows the ability to think critically. You can't trust every single person you ever meet. You need to be able to analyze people more carefully. Only help those who you deem trustworthy. Only open up to those who you believe won't rip your heart to shreds. Only lend money to those you know will give it back, one way or another. You wouldn't let 100 strangers into your house to do whatever they want with your belongings, so why would you be so naive to think that nobody will ever use your niceness against you?

4. Being a doormat shows lack of confidence.

If you want to please everyone you ever meet, it just shows how insecure you are. How much you need the constant appreciation and validation of others. How afraid you are of opposing someone, sharing your views or rejecting someone. And that simply is not attractive, or a good thing. It makes you come off as a coward who's unable to be themselves because they're too busy making sure everyone else is having a good time and getting their needs met. What about you?There IS such a thing as being

You can't be perfect all the time. Not everyone is going to accept you, regardless of what you do or say or how you act. It's simply not possible. So instead of walking on eggshells your entire life, trying to please everyone but yourself - BE YOUR DAMN SELF. Don't hide behind your "niceness". Don't act like you constantly agree with everyone and never have any problems with doing everything. Be yourself. Express yourself. Don't be afraid of saying no. Don't be afraid of kicking someone toxic out of your life.

That's all I had to say about this matter. Now, I'm truly off to "enjoy" my hiatus, which consists of working my ass off in school. Adiós!


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Most Helpful Guy

  • I assume most women who are being nice are full of shit anyways. A lot of men too, Now that i think about it.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • Screw it, if being a nice person makes me "boring" or "predictable" then oh well. I am nice, it's just who I am. I'm not a doormat, I do nice things because I want to not because I feel like I have to or need to. Anyone who finds that irritating, boring or predictable isn't someone I care to have around me anyway.

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    • I was talking about people who are TOO nice, not just nice in a normal way.

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What Guys Said 21

  • If you truly are a kind person, then there is no other alternative than being kind. Because that is all you can be. That doesn't mean that you agree on everything. But it can mean that you will drop everything to help those you love, because their happiness is your happiness.

    And if kindness is boring, so be it. A truly kind person isn't kind to win your approval. True kindness comes from empathy and a moral compass. Being kind is not the same as trying to be perfect, it's simply that you think and act with your heart.

    Being gentle and kind doesn't have to mean that you are a pushover. I think the "too kind" comes from people who actually don't want to be kind but they act in a way that is more socially acceptable or they are scared of conflict or are trying to win approval.

    The kind and strong person I am talking about could perhaps be visualized in people like Mahatma Gandhi or Nelson Mandela or similar personalities.

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    • The type of kind person you're referring to is not the type of obsessed, over the top nice person I was referring to.

  • "If you're constantly this happy-go-lucky person who is ALWAYS fine with doing anything, agreeing with anything, seeing anyone and helping anyone with literally anything, you start to come off as a very bland person who doesn't have any views and interests of your own."

    I mean, what? Maybe I'm just a really easy-going person who can enjoy most anything. Fuck me, right?

    I agree that being a doormat is no good, but I am just a person who can be interested by most anything and is just a really nice person. Does being yourself mean you have to be a dick once and awhile?

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    • "I'm not saying you should act like an asshole to spice things up."
      It's one thing to be ok with experiencing different things. It's another to obsessively make sure you absolutely never tell anyone that you can't/don't want to because you're afraid of not being able to please everyone at all times.

  • Well guess being the bad boy / girl makes more sense :D <3

    Not being an asshole but one can be nice yet exciting. But point 3 'end up hurting yourself' is for those that are trying to be too good that is too much for their own good. Ideally better be that you are and not try to modify expecting something good to come out of it :)

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  • This sounds like some of it could apply to me. The bit that certainly doesn't is being a doormat. Even if I was, it's not because I lack confidence. Quite the reverse. I am confident enough to be able to help anyone at any time, and still have time to study. Still have time to persue my prime hobby, which is a "Magnum Opus". It takes up much time, but will never be finished.

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  • Your level of attractiveness determines how much meanness credits you have. Take me for instance. On a bad day, I'm in the top 95th percentile where looks are concerned, so the level of douchebaggery I'm allowed to get into while still gaining a womans affection is monumental

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  • Yeah fair points. But still be nice, not a jerk. Just be confident and yourself and good.

    That girl in the gif is pretty enough in my book. I lost track of what else she said as I was distracted by her prettiness.

    Could you help me out on my questions pls? I'm confused.. was I too nice to a girl who I have a teensy crush on (I think)?

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  • Every Nice Guy™ should read this and become enlightened 👏🏼👏🏼

    https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=j74VFngCn7w

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  • Nah, this is pretty shallow. Maybe even immature? These are good qualities. Except for being a doormat. But that isn't really the good person's fault; it's the insecure people who use them as a doormat. It boils down to a corrupt moralless society.

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  • Number 3 is too true. If you are too trusting of everybody, people will see that and take advantage of you.

    Besides, respect is earned not given.

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  • I agree 100% ☺

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  • I agree, great Take, I like it :D

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  • no you can be nice but refuse to do things

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  • I agree with what you said, good points, well written and all that, but I have a question. What's the difference, if any, between being nice and being helpful.

    I always thought that if you could help someone, you should. I can understand some people being too nice, but where does it change from being actually nice to annoying.

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  • I find it more helpful to explain what's interesting, rather than what's not interesting.

    For example, argue with people. Tell them they're wrong. Find out their opinion.

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  • Being too nice, in most cases, isn't genuine so it's a game in itself. Borders on victimizing oneself.

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  • Ha ha ha ha!!! This is hilarious! Granted, some of this is true. But not always.

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  • I learned "being nice" got me a gf's that cheated on me more then once. No one Mr. Nice guy but also not going to become an Asshole ethier.

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    • Your niceness probably didn't have anything to do with her cheating though?

    • Yeah you could right now that I look back she always talked about the Type of guy she's attracted to, both in looks and build. I should have seen the flags. But didn't. Thanks

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  • I've become a lot more successful in all things since i almost eliminated all my niceness :P i have just enough now and it's honestly too little

    but its too late now, part of my heart is black and itll remain that way, screw nice, just be yourself

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  • its known that women dif abusive psychopaths at least some admit it.

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What Girls Said 6

  • The day you stop being "nice" is the day you set yourself free☆

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  • I agree to an extent. I had a friend who was SUPER nice... it irritated me.. lol. Super turn the other cheek kind of chick. She wasn't a doormat though nor did she allow people to use her. She wasn't boring either (just super religious). She was VERY predictable of course.

    I guess what I'm saying is that not all of those people hit your points... but thank God I am not one of them.

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  • I like it. It makes sense. =)

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  • Yes I think so. Live and Learn. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IBsOu44Tj2E

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  • How do I become less nice? :l

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  • I wish the so called "nice guys" knew that this is why girls don't want to date them. Not because they like assholes.

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