Who Would Love a Girl With Scars?

Who Would Love a Girl With Scars?

Trigger Warning: this take involves discussion of self-harm which may be upsetting to some users. If you don't feel comfortable reading it, please skip to the advice portion of the article. Thank you.


Self-harm is an extremely controversial topic that normally isn't talked about much out of fear of being ridiculed, cast out, or called a liar. Self-harm also comes from a plethora of different faces, and can look different for everyone. I'm not going to sit here and pretend that I can imagine what anyone else is going through - we all deal with hardships differently and what might be tolerable for me might push someone else close to the edge. All i can share are my feelings on the matter, and also offer some advice to those who need it.

When I was younger, I developed a self-harming addiction that eventually escalated into me wanting to take my own life. I didn't, obviously, though it was definitely tempting for a while. I craved the release I felt only death could provide for me. I took to self-harming as a way to distract myself from the emotions I was feeling, and, as a result, I am left with scars. I had spent so much time trying to hide them and make them less noticeable to the world, when I should have just accepted them.


“My scars tell a story. They are a reminder of times when life tried to break me, but failed. They are markings of where the structure of my character was welded.”


What I Learned

On account of my sorry plights, I learned that each and every scar tells a story. Has a history. It portrays a part of life that can and never will be forgotten; a moment when you were weak, or you made a mistake, or you were so angry and you didn't know how else to deal with what you were feeling. Scars allow people to see into your past and give a part of yourself that, without them, you wouldn't have. They're beautiful, just like me. Just like you.

When you look at your scars, what do you see? Do you see something hideous, a marking that never goes away and only serves to remind you of what a lost cause you were? Or do you see something with meaning? Something you ended up with when life tried to destroy you, only it didn't? Do you see the strength you gained from it? Life is meant to be lived, experienced. Sometimes it'll hurt you, maybe to the point where you might not be able to take it. But in the end, you lived. And now you're strong.

Don't disguise your scars. Don't hide them.
You shouldn't have to.
Your scars aren't the problem. It's the people who judge you because of them who are.

Thanks for reading <3

---- Julie B. (CœurRosé)


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What Guys Said 30

  • The more you live, the more you realise we all have scars. Some we can see, others we cannot see for they are inside

    You just treat all people with respect, regardless

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  • I have completely and totally nothing against people who have self harmed. But I have my doubts about being with such a person. I mean, I used to have every reason to do it myself yet I never did so it's hard to understand why others would. Thus it is not a mentality I can get by.

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  • I will love her,my friend

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  • i reckon some people cut themselves cuz they want beautiful scars

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  • Thank god you're still alive
    I don't know exactly but it's kinda stupid though I was a part of this stupidity when I was 11 or 12 but I used to do it for fun though I don't remember everything but I don't do it cause I was upset or something 😶
    Silly me :P

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  • "Self-harm is an extremely controversial topic that normally isn't talked about much out of fear of being ridiculed, cast out, or called a liar."

    Controversial? That's the first time I hear about it. I'm pretty sure that's just all in your head and not in the real world.

    Don't try to create another social justice stigma by pretending we're not really allowed to talk about something due to "judgement" from people who are "normal". We'll only end up with more separate bathrooms and new forms of leftist groups trying to limit our social spaces with new ways of being offended.

    I used to cut myself in the arms, the stomach and the face due to the stress of living in an abusive household. I also bit my fingers until they bled. My classmates wondered what was going on and I told them it was due to accidents. They didn't buy it and alerted the school. I got help and I moved out. Now I've recovered. That's all there is to it. If you really really desperately want to be a victim, look to already existing groups.

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    • It occured to me that you might be an extremely sensitive person. If so I apologize for my "harsh" tone. You see, I basically need Trigger warnings to warn me about "Trigger warnings".
      They make me see red.

  • No I definitely wouldn't.

    People with scars have buggages and pose a negative influence in your life. Of course if someone I had known for years was cutting I'd still support them, but I wouldn't accept someone new who was cutting.

    My lecturer at Uni cuts and it's horrible. Her arms are cut the whole length.

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  • I'm glad you included the trigger warning, I wouldn't have known this article would feature potentially hurtful content, otherwise.

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  • Fuck I hate trigger warnings, they cause strong negative emotions.

    Scars don't matter, so long as they aren't horribly disfiguring or something.

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  • Your story is a bit part in the game of life.
    You came out the other side to tell the tail
    The scars are a reminder of how hard life can be
    And you serviced the hard part so the other opinions expressed hardly matter well done for showing your own personallaty

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  • i love a girl with cars... .

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  • Very brave of you to tell your story. When you find the right guy he will love you and your scars. I should know, i have lost of them, mine are on the inside though. When i met my wife, i just leveled with her. I told her every thing. First time in my entire life i had ever done that. Because i shared my pain with her i think it made us stronger.

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  • 1st. No- reason why below
    2nd.
    I thought meant like a girl who gotten into a aciident or burn victim or born with a mole somthjng

    No I nearly can keep wotwith aha normal crazy girl. Why would I be a pycho mentality damaged one. she need a. mentally damaged guy to even her out. .

    No one wants a emo sad insecure girl. your gonna be a downer a drinker and smoker and look way to much for attention and cut your self when u don't get it. and your gonna more paranoid

    Aka she has too much baggage

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  • I would if there was more to her than the scars. They are a very small part of someones life, but if every action and conversation leads back to old injuries, i would grow tired very quickly.

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  • Scars are not beautiful. Just because you have inflicted that on yourself, don't try to justify it's attractiveness.

    But don't worry, you'll find someone whose scars matches your scars :)

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    • I don't thin she was talking about the actual scars being beautiful, more like scars are a metaphor for how strong the said person is and how they can overcome hardships, which is beautiful.

  • because it depends... people are judgmental lol.

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  • i would definitely love to date a girl with scars.

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  • Who wouldn't love a girl with scars? Scars are painful; scars are remnants of battles past. In a way, they are part of one that does not heal for whatever reason, or it would not be a scar.

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  • We all have scars. Both physically, emotionally, and spiritually but I don't think we should be judged just on our scars but rather how we got them

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  • Very brave take - I think Dangerdoge said a lot of what I was going to say - Past issues are not things to be swept under the carpet - If you bundle them up too tightly, there is a good chance they will burst out of the package again - Your point about being open about any scars is totally valid and if I was in the process of getting to know a girl, I would appreciate the fact that she wanted to be open and to talk to me about her past. I am totally open about my past with mental illness and it was a conscious decision which I pondered deeply about, it is a decision I never regretted when talking to new people. Maybe I have been very fortunate but any response I ever got was 99.9% positive.

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    • I think it's definitely important to be open about your past. Unfortunately, it can be hard to find people who appreciate that.

      Thanks for reading! :)

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What Girls Said 7

  • Wow. I didn't know you self harmed. Now I understand your comment better that you left on my Take. Which is crazy that you wrote this 15hrs ago because I didn't even see it until just now! But awesome Take girl. Keep your head up! ❤

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  • People like you make me sick.

    Saying that it's okay to have scars is saying it's okay to cut, witch is saying it's okay to hurt a living being. And saying it's beautiful to hurt a living being is just f*cked up.

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    • That is NOT what I said at all. What I said is that one shouldn't feel bad about their scars, and embracing them is one step on a path to recovery. I have no idea where you gathered it's okay to hurt people. You're taking what I said way out of context as a way to hurt me, when you could have left your awful comment out of this thread.

  • Guys: What about acne scars? I battled acne until I was 21, tried countless medications. 2 courses of Accutane ended up working for me, but I have some acne scars on my cheeks. Not red, but indentations.

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  • If there is beauty in scars why then everytime someone noticed them ( all over my hands) start either laughing, offending me or staying aside?

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  • I'd love a man with scars, kiss the scars everyday and tell him he means the world :)

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  • It is hard to have scars and love them. I started to then someone would make fun of me again. It's such an up down road. I've had guys say they don't care about my scars n marks but then they see only a few they run. I mean who wouldn't when a girls body is around 80% covered in scars n marks... I would if I could run from myself but like Elsa In frozen I conceal don't feel don't let them know anymore. But maybe one day I'll be happy and not bothered about my scars n marks.

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