"I needed you, and you weren't there!"

That is a term I hate hearing. If I am told this, I will cry. Thankfully I've never been told this before but there is a certain person I can tell this to, who was supposed to be my best friend.

I'm that friend that will drop everything at a moments notice, or I'll lose a full nights sleep just to make sure my friend is okay. I've always been very empathetic and caring of everyone's feelings. If my friend needs advice I'm gonna try my damndest to help them out.

Recently, I helped my friend out. His girlfriend doesn't know what she wants from their relationship and he's getting very frustrated and upset with her. I told him "Talk to her. Be civil and just listen, communication is vital." He told me how he's talking to her about it and that if they take a break he'll feel terrible. In return I told him how I took a break from my first irl boyfriend. Overall I related to him and explained to take time off from her. In the end I said "There's a difference between taking care of your happiness+mental health over being selfish."

It makes sense doesn't it? I hope so.

A while ago, when my fathers abuse went from neglect to abusing me emotionally+physically, my best friend left me. He was being a prick and really hurt my feelings and he didn't have any clue about my dad. Months go by and I'm at my moms with my ldr boyfriend, the one who broke my heart.

(here's links to the myTakes talking about him -->


http://www.girlsaskguys.com/relationships/a27225-why-i-don-t-regret-my-heartbreak

http://www.girlsaskguys.com/relationships/a24935-the-lost-love-3 )

Well about a month after I get my heart broken, my best friend comes back. He apologizes and says "I wanted you to hate me. You deserve better than me and I couldn't leave, but if I made you hate me, it'd be easier and better for you." Bullshit like that. I told him he can come back but that he isn't forgiven. I ended up telling him everything that happened with my ex and my father. He missed that entire period.

My words to him when he came back?

"I needed you and you weren't there."

Those 7 words are the death of me.

If I tell you those words, you know it's serious. I don't say those lightly and I don't take it with a grain of salt.

My heart breaks for my friends whenever they're going through any amount of pain.

The 7 words I wish to hear after helping my friends?

"Thank you for being there for me."


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What Guys Said 14

  • I think to often people get wrapped up in their own dramas. Expecting someone else to be there for you when you need them is asking s bit much if they are not family or a partner, especially when those people are young as often youths can lack the tools emotionally to help others or the experience to know how, I know that was the case when I was younger but now looking back Im amazed at the things I missed, signs I should have seen, and misreading situations that are obvious in retrospect. I used to try and help others and be there when people needed me but what I've had to learn the hard way is that if you want to save someone save yourself. Knuckle down and do what you have to do to get out if your living in an abusive home, if no one has helped you so far then you are going to have to take responsibility for yourself and make it happen ASAP.

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  • This how I felt last year after my surgery!

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  • Better no friends , than " so called friends " , you can never rely on anyone , most people are self focused. On the bright side , the older you get , the more self reliant you become , & the less you give a f**k !! Very deep take , have stood alone throughout my adult life & now a single dad with no support network

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    • if you stood alone your entire life, how did you become father?

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    • ahh so you did have a wife. i thought you might have adopted them or something.

    • That's better then investing yourself in someone and feeling like you're incomplete... maybe I missed something but losing my ex and her kids who we were together longer enough that we were a family and I can't seem to make myself feel whole anymore. I think I lost a part of me when I lost her, I'm not going into details of what went on and I didn't lose her she lost me in the end... and in reality she didn't end up caring because I gave her chances to come back and instead she lost who she is now, it's a very sad story.

  • When things turn to shit for you is when you find out the true measure of the people you know.

    When I found myself in those situations I found out who was still supportive and understanding, and who didn't want to associate with you. It wasn't always who you would have expected; some who didn't have much to stand on themselves were dismissive.

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  • Here's how I handle it.
    "I needed you and you weren't there."
    "Sorry"

    That's it.

    Those people will grow up one day and realize there is no guarantee that ANYONE will be there for you except self (and God, if you believe.)
    Someone tries to guilt me with that, will see me REALLY not be there for them.

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  • haha emotional bomb. only 2 possible outcomes.
    1. she never speaks to you again. bitch.
    2. she just wanted more affection. not bad.

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  • If people are adults, their issues are their problem and responsibility and they need to sort their issues out themselves. If they can't handle then they need to seek professional help. Friends are not servants supposed to be there every single moment. My answer to someone who says this is that it's not my job to babysit that person. Some of these people are taking advantage of the friendship. I used to bend my back over backwards for people and I got taken advantage of. The advice I was told was to stop being so nice. So I have. People like me just the same but don't take advantage.

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  • I can relate so hard in the first para. I used to let people walk all over me and watch them leave and found myself blaming them. But fuck that.
    There's absolutely no one you should completely trust on except yourself. If anyone's responsible for you, its yourself, no one else.

    Ever been in love with a person you would do absolutely anything for? Yes we've all been.
    Love yourself like that.

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  • it's okay im here now hun
    now go make me a sandwich

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  • Ok, but then when he said he made you hate him, you should actually believe that, because it's true sometimes guys/men do that because they are unable to take the decision because they actually don't want to leave but they must do so due to some circumstances. Maybe that's why he said that.

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    • Yea I did believe it but it was Bullshit to me because I've proven that I'm gonna love him no matter what.

  • Wow did things really get that messed up? Like how bad?

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  • i'm kinda confused... something doesn't make sense to me. i probably should probably read those links, but i'm way too lazy

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  • One of the best takes I've seen.. Sorry to hear about your sad moments.. Life will be better in the future im sure.. because that's what good people like you deserve.. Be fine

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  • This is why I love you! 😍💜💜💜💜 👍👊

    🐓💨

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    • omf /.\ thanks love

    • 💜💜💜💜💜👍👊🐓💨

What Girls Said 4

  • So many guys say what your best friend said, about him preferring you hate him. I don't know where they get this idea from but I think it's so stupid. If you act like an Asus then take responsibility for it instead if trying to make me still want you when you finally come back.

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    • *ass lol srsly I'd rather the person give me the real reason why they left instead of trying to make one up. Even if it's painful I like honesty. I understand people can't always choose for the way things are. But just tell me that...

  • The only person I've ever really said that to was my Mum.

    Not in those words (I was telling her how I felt about her telling Grandma off for calling her home my safe place instead of mums home my safe place) Mum hadn't been around for nine fucking years. How dare she tell Grandma that she couldnt be our safe place. That SHE couldnt do the job that mum had neglected to do for so many years.

    I want to tell her those words. She doesn't seem to comprehend the massive fuck up that she made. So Im going to tell her. One day.

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  • I can relate too. My best friend is currently distancing himself from me while I am dealing with depression and anxiety. And it's all because he has a girlfriend who hates my guts and can't stand him having any other people in his life except for her and his mother. Absolutely no compromises. Talk about priorities.

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  • This is really deep...

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