I'm a very attractive and confident woman. My self-security shows in my upright posture and walk.
When you have both characteristics, you come off as a woman of power to others, which
in some cases may allow a person to become intimidated by you.
I know the word "attractive" is subjective because each and every person has a certain type
that appeals to them.
I am basing my appearance off of the way I feel about myself, and how others react to me on a daily basis; through everyday encounters.
I get told regularly I should become a model if that isn't the path I have already chosen in life.
I am slightly taller than average, I am thin and shapely, I have long limps, and unique facial features.
I get complimented regularly by mostly men and some women. I get told I am beautiful, pretty or gorgeous.
Each and every time I hear those words, I remain humble and never become full of myself.
I feel when someone becomes "full of themselves", they become poisoned. They allow
the compliments they receive to define them, and they present themselves as self-absorbed,
conceited, and stuck up.
I never want to come across as that, so I always politely smile and say "Thank you".
For a great portion of my life, I was made to feel as if my appearance wasn't good enough. Although I always felt myself as attractive, I didn't wear the best clothes, I didn't have the best hairstyles, as a teenager I had acne. This caused me to be made fun of by other children in school. I refer to what I went through as the "domino effect" because when a popular person chose to dislike me, literally everyone in the entire school did. Either they were a participant of the bullying or they stood back and laughed (which caused just as much damage to my soul, as those that shouted out horrible names and slurs at me).
When I was a senior in high school, I got my first job and started spending money on fashionable clothing and trendy hairstyles. When I did this, peoples reaction towards me became polar opposite of what I faced. For the first time in my life, I had men questioning if they were good enough for me (based on their physical appearance). I had men telling me how attractive I am. I had people looking at me and smiling as I walked by; in admiration. I had literally jumped on a side of the fence that I never knew existed. As a attractive woman, I found that people were more kind to me. When I appeared as less attractive earlier on, it was almost as if I was invisible to the world, with beauty came power, and a million guys wanting to date you.
In seconds of talking to me, people were quickly able to see that the way they "thought I was" held high inaccuracy. They were able to see I was humble and down to earth. My past experiences taught me to see peoples soul's instead of their appearance first. The guy I chose to date was a bit overweight, myself on the other hand was slim and shapely. My facial features were considered attractive, and his on the other hand were considered average or below. The fact that he possessed such a great personality, made him one of the most attractive men to me. I had met many others before him, which may have been considered more attractive, but they didn't have what could keep me........he did.
When we walked with each other arm and arm, or hand in hand, we heard people criticize us as a couple. "How did he get a girl like that?", "How much did he pay her to be with him?". This made his insecurities set in even more. He hated when I chose to dress up. Instead, he wanted me to dress down so people wouldn't take notice of me as much. I reassured him, that I love him and that what no one said mattered.
I even had to listen to one of my relatives tell me, "You are such a beautiful girl, you could have gotten a handsome man."
Why were we judged so harshly as a couple?
Why couldn't people just see two human-beings in love?
Every one expects a person to be superficial because of the way that they look, when in reality, looks may very well be the last thing on their mind.
What mattered was that he was beautiful to me, and I didn't feel myself out of his league, as others might have said. He had great personality traits to bring to the table, and that was what contented me by far!
Sure, someone deemed physically attractive by societal standards, are those who are nice to look at, but from personal observation I notice that if they didn't go through what I went through, they usually don't have ability to know how hard it is on the other side of the fence. Since they lack that experience, they don't know what it's like to be torn on the inside about the way that you look. These types of people may come across as "stuck up, conceited, and full of themselves" like I described earlier. They are, who land the good looking the stereotypes attached to them, whether it's intentional or not.
I knew my significant other's struggles when it came to being desired by the opposite sex, I knew the pain he had with the way he looked, I could relate to him on every aspect with that. Why? because I went through that myself. I didn't ever want to make someone feel as if they weren't good enough for me based on their appearance, when I knew in my heart that they were because we had everything in common.
What mattered the most, was my perception of my significant other not societies.
So, the next time you see an attractive person with an average/below average partner, question yourself before you make judgment. Who is the real superficial person out there? It most certainly isn't that couple, because they look happy together, while you are ripping them a part in your mind, questioning their love.
True love doesn't create walls.
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