🎯 Inside the Mind of Adulthood💬

First time I felt like an adult I was wearing a blazer.

Yes, a black blazer. Like something you wouldn’t imagine me to wear. Like a businesswoman as if I were someone high and mighty? It was similar to wearing high heels for the first time and thinking some one who knew me in high school would just laugh at the sight of this. Especially If you're someone like me. Which if you don’t know me yet I am your plain generic girl without of a clue what she want out of life.

Another American girl who indulges in online chatting, pizza, and spending her free time on free online movies. One of those girls who don’t give a fuck and the ones that don’t seem notices that they have extra rolls behind their back. As I was reaching my destination my low black ballet shoes told me to stop. As if they were pleading, “ why oh why did I decide to change now!” Every few minutes the heel of my shoes would slip off side, front way, back and forth as I encounter every tiny crack on the sidewalk.

Now picture how ridiculous I looked wearing a blazer a little too tight, gray dress pants that didn’t fit well on my muffin top, and shoes that were so cheaply made that I kept hitting the ground because they did not prove any support. The expression on my face said it all. I twisted and pushed and pulled and punch all my emotions that I felt into one. With just one look on my face you would think I was enduring torture that some how some invisible force had something against me. So you get the picture don’t yeah? This isn’t a story about a queen or a fairy or a diamond in the rough. This about a girl trying to grow up. Trying to live the world outside her fantasy.

Because in my small inner world I am the heroic Queen but I decide to trade my crown for adulthood. My kingdom for responsibility and my fantasy with reality. “It was about time!” my mother would say! “I waited long enough!”. As she eagerly and violently pulled and tore my soft blue lightweight gown into my dark closet. The darkness and absence of my dress and crown had erased my elegance and the warmth of security.

I was no longer allowed to ask my mother for advice. No more standing behind an adult when I couldn’t afford it. No more expect someone to rewind my clock. No more anything. As an adult I was suppose to be in charge let say the captain of my boat. The great leader of my country. I was not allowed to stay in the under the cover of my bedsheets.

The rules were simple in adulthood you're responsible for your life. You fuck up than you fix it! It was up to me to solve my problem. I kept walking closer and closer until I was there in front of big thick glass doors. Behind these doors I knew I would be judge from the way, I dress to the way, I spoke, and to the way I held myself together. I took one deep breath in and remind myself, “I will always love you.” As I held my breath in I open the door to unexplored territory. At this exact moment I knew all those days wasted as a child I would finally be tested to see if I made it.

The test that all kids must go through no exceptions. It didn’t matter what my height was or my weight this was my moment. As I went inside those door and into a dark purple walls cam to view and then I saw a face. A face like no other. It was girl with red hair and and red lips and perfect smile. She was my past envy…my nightmare…my ….my hope my wish my my want. Her eyes resembled a dragon.

Something about her was not human. The way she smiled like she knew my secret. As if she could rip me apart with just one bite. Her voice was as clear and loud. She said,”Hello.” Yet her were saying, “Look.” The younger version of me needed to be pretty.

The mirror held in the middle of room wanted me to shrink...It wanted to make me less important. The voice in my head started to mumbled and then it got louder until I could not ignore it. My mind started to focused on the voice of boy a child who replay the same propaganda until I believe it. He would say in direct voice “you don’t deserve anything.”

This boy only came occasion only to laugh at my disappointment. Sometimes when he would visit he would hit me in my weak spot call me, “stupid… ugly…and fat….and how I was going to dies anyway.” He was like my bully that I couldn’t not make stop. Because on one cold fall morning when I told my teacher that he was make funny me or she said something or so and so trying to hurt me. They would smile the same fake dragon smile that I saw on that girl face.

I beg the boy to leave and scream that he was not needed. Words could not form to speak. When I finally let my mouth go and let the voice echo in my mind. I manage to stumble on the letters of hello. “Hello” I repeated “Hello Hello Hello.” My body froze. My clothes stop arguing…my shoes decide to stay still…My belly rolls decide to get smaller…the mirror stop shrinking me…the voice stop playing its record…the dragon spoke and the wind of her voice said stiffly, “come in.”

And than I let go of the breath I was holding in. Everything that held me together in a nots of destruction was finally cut off. The promise of fresh air came into my mind. I was finally released from my fears that threaten my shoes.The first time I felt like an adult I was twenty. In that cold Tuesday morning when I decide to leave behind those sharp thing called self judgement at the door.

#GaGWritingContest #QueenApple24 🍎👑 #GiveMe$$$$$


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What Guys Said 45

  • Love the metaphors.
    Was this you going for a job interview?

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  • Nice recapture of your stream of consciousness. Good luck with the contest!

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  • Adulthood is a scary reality, yes.

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  • Well damn, not something you read everyday. I enjoyed this Take. Well done.

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  • the best writing of this contest I have read till now, you are amazing!

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  • Growing up, its not for pussies

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  • Outstanding' great work very well said. great take

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  • Kind of hard to believe you wrote this lol :O but nice take.

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  • Boring!!!

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  • very very nice.

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  • That's about as adult as a woman needs to be. A nice outfit and everything is great.

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  • Interesting take, and like the detail of your emotions as you go along...

    I also like how you have identified your change to adulthood in this one single event!

    Going to an interview and trying to get your first "real" job/career is a life changing event and does propel you into adulthood.

    I recall my first interview with the government, it was frightening LOL I was interviewed by six different people, sometimes all at once!

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    • Lol did u get it?

    • Yes, I got it... you are all grown-up now! No comforts of home, all the things your mom taught you, finally stepping outside of your castle walls in an attempt to be on your own!

      I like your last paragraph as it suggests that you were able to finally break free of your inner child to become an adult, and although it was frightening, it was also enlightening!

  • apple very good my take. so how did it turn out?

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    • I didn't get the second interview );

    • sorry to hear that. the next one will be easier because you will be more relaxed and know you know what to expect
      its there loss not yours.

  • Becoming an adult isn't the easiest thing and you captured many of the feelings well. That was a very good take. If you keep writing like that they're going to make you an editor. 😊🍎

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  • What a take Apple... a very interesting, personal story!
    Do you have the feeling for yourself that you managed to meet the challenges and that you have successfully made the big steps towards adultcy?

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  • Ok now that you accept yourself let's have fun so I'll see you at Bob's bar at 9

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  • Yes the journey into adulthood can seem extreme for a lot of people, an event or a period of time that feels life changing and often cataclysmic in nature but as time goes by you adapt to it becoming more comfortable with it even letting some childlike influences back in. I suppose the trick is to try to get a good balance between the responsibilities/duties of adulthood without losing some of the best qualities of childhood like expressing yourself openly.
    Lovely take by the way.

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  • :)
    I love it how you compared stuff or gave stuff a name. Self Doubt would be the Boy for example
    I loved it

    I love dragons though XD
    Majestic misunderstood creatures

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  • It's one of life's lessons that you never know what to expect until you actually do it.

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  • Dang girl lol, that was like a mini book! You should trying writing a book! Nobody want's adulthood to actually happen. It's something that kids always want because they're tired of being treated as kids, but they don't know how ruthless this world is sometimes. Yes, it has to happen to everyone (well I guess not everyone per se, since there are some rich kids out there that will never have to work a day in their life. Could be a good or bad thing) but it's a necessary part of life. Hope you prosper and make the best of it! Good luck in life! :)

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What Girls Said 37

  • Great Take :)

    To me it was about leaving your fears behind and becoming independent

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  • nice take!! i agree with the part about the blazer

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  • I hope you win, this was great. Comparing royalty to growing into an adult, I never thought of that. I like the metaphors

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  • Stream of consciousness. Life is a journey - I'm glad you traveled the round of adulthood recently enough. =)

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  • This was really funny and so true about adulthood. Every time I get nervous about doing something I tell myself that I am a Khaleesi, which means queen in dothraki and finish in Arabic. You should totally write more my takes!

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  • This is an amazing take apple! I'm sorry I came to the part a little late though. But I don't regret reading it. I can relate In some cases! But I'm proud of you !! 👌👍 good job

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  • Beautiful! I never had anything like this, because my family still treat me like a child. Its fustrateing because I feel like I can never feel free around the... Like an animal in a cage. But I did sort of feel like this when I had my son, I felt like I'm a woman now and nothing can stand in my way... But then I was soon put in my place by my grandma. But she seems to think she is the godfather and everyone under her feels the same.

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    • wow~! If I had a child my mother would have kicked me out to be honest. Don't get me wrong I am still treated like a child!

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    • Well I try to forgive and forget, and also not get on my grandmas bad side just incase she sends a hit man out on me (Just kidding). But he's not as contorling as made out here, I think I was exadurating because I felt angry that he was sad I was leaving on holiday. But we made up, I had a grate time and he is back to his nicer self now.

    • well okay! if not I'll send a hit man! lol

  • Very creative and well written! Good job apple :)

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  • I really love all the metaphors and the narration!
    This was beautifully written and so very true!
    Great mytake!

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  • This brought me back to my own adjustments and transitions adapting to the adult world. The secret is to hold onto that child because that's where you get the brilliant imagination ♡ You made this very real for the reader!

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  • This has got to be for a job interview. I feel your fear, I'm switching jobs and going into a new field I have zero experience. It's nerve wracking and hard to convince someone to give you a a chance. That feeling of being judged and analyzed can really get to you. Being prepared can help that and luckily you have the internet to Google questions typically asked for the field you're applying, find some good answers for those annoying tougher questions like "what is your weakness?". I've been adulting for years now and interviews still make me sweat.

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  • That was amazing :)

    It's OK to have fantasies as an adult but reality must take precedent over them.

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  • Congratulations! This is a very interesting Take!

    And this is something I needed to read.

    Thanks :)

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  • I enjoyed reading this. Good take!

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  • This is really well written and I love how you mix up your thoughts/feelings with reality and don't let the reader know which is which so that it gets hard to differ, it's deep and makes you think :)

    #QueenApplefortheWin !

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  • "Because in my small inner world I am the heroic Queen but I decide to trade my crown for adulthood."
    wow apple, i'm surprised. im so used to ur funny replies and this was so.. deep. i liked it a lot, the transition between childhood and adulthood. nice job :D

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  • Wow I love this Apple 🍎 I thoroughly enjoyed reading it. It has such deep meaning which reach people deep inside. It makes me mediate and think deeply. I love that. I can see you being a great author one day. You have a way with words to captivate the reader, and intrigue them. Keep writing like this and you'll not only be the Queen of G@G but the Queen of MyTakes too. 👍❤🍎👸👑

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  • haha I like the way you write, made me stressed out through out the whole text.
    I knew it was about your interview and from some of the comments I know you didn t get the job but it s ok. Failure is the key of success after all ;)
    it def is scary to feel you re on your own all of sudden, but the thing is you shouldn t be. I don t know about your mum but getting advice and support from her will always be needed and vis versa.
    Also maybe after taking that first step I guess you did or eventually will feel liberated and more powerful. especially when you start to manage on your own.
    so therefore the real world would eventually be your kingdome and you may rule again ;)

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  • I feel like adulthood is scary but exciting at the same time. I am still trying to find my way and learn new things and just grow as an individual. Its hard sometimes though but I won't give up, I try to take things one step at a time.

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  • Nice my take appole! I sometimes feel like a mix of adult and a kid XD this was about ur job wasn't it? Lol

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