Why I Will Always Take the Nice Guy Over the Bad Boy

Why I will Always Prefer the Nice Guy over the Bad Boy

For anybody else who watches the Vampire Diaries, this goes hand in hand why I will always prefer Stefan over Damon. If anyone knows where I can buy a Stefan, do tell. However at this point, I don't think Elena deserves Stefan and Damon doesn't deserve a brother like him.

Long-term relationships require a level of trust beyond what’s naturally extended to a stranger. The “bad boy,” aka jerk, can pick up a lot more dates than the nice guy because they’re typically unpredictable and dominant, which girls are initially intrigued by. However, this is only an initial attraction because the bad burns out. If you don’t become the nice guy fairly quickly, your long-term odds of success are pretty limited.

Egotistical pricks are a turn off. If I can't a conversation with him, without finding every word he says to be revolting, that's a problem. I definitely don't want someone who treats me like shit, I am way too independent for that.

The definition of nice guy might not be what you’d expect. A nice guy does not mean he’s a pushover, doormat, or weak person. A nice guy simply means he doesn’t play games, he’s confident and consistent with himself, and he has strong core values and morals.

I have never been to a party in my life. Granted, I have been invited to many but never went to any. Partying is not my idea of having fun I would rather explore the world and have weird, yet awesome adventures. Adventure is out there!

I want someone who respects my decisions even if he doesn't agree with them, I will pass on the guy who "thinks" he is doing what's best for me. My parents already try to do what's best for me and I don't need a third parent. Respect is extremely important. While I might love the other person, I think self respect is more important and will walk away from any relationship that not longer makes me happy.

Also I want someone with goals and ambition. I can never date someone who has no clue what he is doing with his life and that sounds immature, and I can never date someone significantly less mature than me.

Here's scientific research why nice guys finish first:


I will never get why it is so hard for guys to accept girls do like nice guys. If a girl is in a relationship with a bad guy then she must have her own problems because bad boy=bad relationship or is too insecure to believe that she probably deserves better.


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What Guys Said 21

  • Hmm that video doesn't really prove nice people finish first, it just says that nice people finish... whether first or last isn't said in the video.

    I think most guys do agree that girls like nice guys... but they don't prefer them. Obviously it depends on age, but most young girls will tend to go for the bad boy type of guy. The older the woman gets, the more she'll prefer nice guys, which actually just proves the theory that nice guys finish last.

    I'm not complaining though, cause as a "semi-bad-boy" I don't have much problems, but I have notice, and I think 90% of guys will back me up on this, is that the nicer you are to a girl, the more you do for her before getting in a relationship, the less chances of getting her.
    So better save up your niceness for when you get in a relationship, cause that's only when it's going to be appreciated.

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    • Sorry you feel that way. People are constantly opening doors for me, and I make sure they know it's appreciated. Plus I would rather build a relationship based on a friendship.

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    • Yeah, similarly to how girls can sometimes turn a guy off by being sexual too soon, guys can turn girls off by being nice too soon.

      Gotta be hard to get with your niceness lol

    • You mean like a recent question ask asking why girls like assholes/and men who are emotional unavailable from the start?

  • It's hard for a lot of guys to accept, because there's a lot of proof of deuce bags getting the girl plain and simple. But to be completely honest, a lot of guys don't even really know the quality of the girls that consistently chooses the badboys anyways. Some girls with high quality looks are just low quality people and simply meeting a confident nice guy isn't what turns her on.

    Some great girls can't have a good relationship, because what they are attracted to are guys that don't provide healthy, stable relationships and cheats on the guys that do treat her well. I've met some good guys that got cheated on for no reason past the fact he decided to hangout with his friends one night instead of taking his girl out for the third night in a row. So she cheated on him because she felt "neglected"

    You see enough girls consistently choosing guys who are legitimately bad for them and predictably getting dumped or cheated on. It can be pretty convincing to say that girls in general want a bad boy. Because it's "kind of" true, but specifically true for all girls. Damn near all high quality women won't accept a man who treats her poorly. Generally only girls with low self esteem will put up with it, because the idea of suffering with the company of lesser men in her eyes hurts more than putting up with the crap of a guy that turns her on.

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  • Great points Ginny! From a guys perspective (well, mine more or less) guys who are "bad" tend to be locked up more or become abusive towards their spouses or partners. In my old hometown most of the bad boys the girls went head over heels for were either abusers, meth heads, or straight up assholes. Not just to the girls they were dating but to the other kids as well if they felt someone was making them look bad. The girls who fell for them were equally as bad usually. Most of them have criminal charges, probated , fight all the time or spread drama. Most of this sounds like generalizations im sure but I personally have found it to be proven fact especially the High School I went to where quite a few of the students were troubled. I felt like the odd man out. I was still a virgin my senior year (still am and im 25), I never dated or had been out on a date, i didn't go to random parties unless I was invited weeks n advance then it was only to close friends whom I knew exteremely well, and quite honestly I've had girls who have told me I wasn't "bad" enough because I didn't drink alcohol or smoke week or tobacco, and I was a virgin. All the popular kids were getting drunk and laid often. I guess in a sense it's good not to be a popular kid in most aspects. I know i'm pretty much rambling on here but that's my two cents and I really appreciate you writing this and hearing or reading what we have to say. Even if Im rambling incoherently.

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    • I guess really I've personally always been too much like passive doormat. What would be your definition of a bad guy in your words?

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    • @Fearless_banana I don't think so. My brother in law was in the marines and wore out the cartilidge in his knees because he marched so far with the rest of his platoon. Again, good night.

    • speak for yourself @Fearless_banana

  • I think one of the problems is that "nice guy" has become a corrupted term. I mean, we all know what the actual definition of nice might be, but it now really means ""boring wimpy sap" or such. "Good guy" might be a better term.

    Though kudos to you for being smart enough to want a man who is good from the get go, not a man you eventually will be saying, "I know he seems like garbage but he's actually got a good heart way deep down..." If girls rejected the "bad guys" and only wanted good men, society would be better for it.

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    • Well thank you for that. Arrogance is a huge turn off for me. At least you didn't call me shallow and say this whole take is a lie.

  • What I learned when I was a sad and lonely young man was to ignore what women said they wanted and, instead, observe their demonstrated preference. There is a huge difference.
    Between the ages of about 15 to 30 the overwhelming majority of females want players, or some version of the sociopathic bad boy. Decent young men are of little to no interest.
    After the age of 30, by which time some life experience has given them some common sense, most females become interested in the sort of man who was too 'boring' or not 'fun' enough for these women when they were 20.
    I have heard it said that at 38 a woman will kill to get the type of man she rejected when she was 18.
    Women on the wrong side of 30 should not be surprised when they are rejected by the men who were once too boring for them.
    It is not possible to observe girl after girl throw herself at obvious players and dirtbags, while rejecting decent young men, without forming an unflattering opinion of the female cognitive process.
    This is part of the reason behind Men Going Their Own Way (MGTOW), which is a significant and growing movement among men. These men have disengaged and walked away from women, as a consequence of observed or personal experiences.
    This is why women on the high side of 30 complain about a lack of good men. Here in Australia female media commentators refer to it as the man drought.
    These men have not left the planet. They have simply walked away and will likely not return.

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    • Oh look another bitter male. Get in line your not the first and you won't be the last.

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    • Again I know what I want and it's not with someone that will make me the broken hearted one.

    • He speaks the truth. Women like the bad boys. Then when they get knock up and used and left by said bad boys, they want the nice guys, Fuck that shit ! If I'm good enough now, why wasn't I good enough then? I quit driving used cars many moons ago.

  • The title should be: Why i will always take the guy other girls won't lol

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  • Stop deluding peoples minds with you shananigans. Nice guys will always finish last because most nice guys lack the fcking testosterone needed to actually make moves on a woman.. Good morals with a touch of arrogance will always win.

    I've been a nice guy and I've been a douche bag.. Look at my cover photo lol. Do I lie?

    NOTE TO GUYS..
    What women say and what women actually want are often contradicting. The worst thing you can do is take advice from a woman on how to get women.

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    • Honestly saying you have been a nice and a dbag was unneeded. I can tell by your profile picture you're an arrogant prick. Never said all women prefer nice guys just me. And me only. I can't speak for other women. But please tell me what I prefer in men. Just like what politicians tell me what to do with my body.

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    • @ILikeToTalkToPeople You can message me. Can maybe help you out.

    • You would have to message me...

      It says you only get messages from followings...

  • It's important for guys to ask not just what sort of guy women like, but what sort of guy the women you are interested in, who want the same sort of relationship you want, look for in a man to share that type of relationship with.

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  • But girls today prioritize:
    Social status, swag, money and good looks over all that shit

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    • Depends on their age though as girls become more mature what they value changes.

    • @Righttobeararms83 They'll realize that the cool guy/rich guy/hot guy won't commit and/or passing them up for the next batch of hot 20 year olds. They then get some guy who they though they were too good for to settle down and start a family with them.

      It isn't about love at this point but desperation to not end up alone and have a financially stable life.

    • Well its true that women with this mindset hit the wall age thirty.

  • Great Take, I like your way of thinking :D

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  • glad there is many girls who prefer the nice guy! I was always put down when a girl I liked chose a thug over me because I was too nice /: but now I finally have a girl who chose me over bad boys (:

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  • But aren't the protagonists of the vampire diaries still murderous vampires?

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    • I don't watch it every week because I realized how quickly that show went off the deep end. From what I know, Damon is and I find him repulsive. Stefan when he first became a vampire was murderous then cleaned up his act then went through some stage that he wasn't able to stop. Think it was called a ripper.

    • Thats what I rather liked about buffy and angel.
      They made no excuses for the times Angel was evil

  • ... Everything looks good on paper.

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    • So it begins. I knew the bitter guys who think they know more than than the girl they are having difficulty getting in the first place would show up eventually.

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    • Trust me I am a woman of my word. I am too independent to settle for a guy who treats me like garbage. If a guy I was dating hit me, I break up with him on the spot and cut off all contact right away. And just because he doesn't hit you, does not mean he won't be abusive. Emotional abuse exists.

    • you are preaching to the choir on the emotional abuse part... and hitting is a little extreme, there are other things that can be done in order to be classified as "bad"... and a guy doesn't necessarily have to treat a girl like garbage, sometimes its about the girl's perception... I've been on the unfortunate end of that. want what they want and bitch if they don't get it.

  • Love this thank you!

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  • you need to be praised @Ginnyweasley97

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  • lol nice guys dont finish first either. I was always told that bad boys and mr nice guys are two sides of the same coin.

    also let's not forget that mr nice guys are creepy

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  • If I had a dollar for every time a woman posted a lie in an attempt to not appear shallow I'd be a millionaire.
    Every woman wants the a*hole who is hot and has the cash to support his irresponsible lifestyle. It's just a scientific fact.

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    • Goodbye assbutt.

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    • @Ginnyweasley97 assbutt oh you so didn't quote Castiel

    • OMG!!! that is so priceless

  • good take. But as a guy who was a "bad boy" in my youth not all women are like this. It seems like most young women 14-22 will always choose the bad boy over the nice guy until experience teaches them otherwise.

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  • Then the next thing you know you hop in with me cuz I know how to have fun

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  • why would you only want to finish once lol?

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What Girls Said 5

  • usually those 'bad boys' are just frustrated with their love lives and insecure. They're probably had their heart broken by girls in the past and think that lashing out at new girls will somehow bring some sort of retribution for being treated unwell in the past. These are weak men, who will put up a front of confidence and choose to disrespect their ladies because they can and won't put in any effort because they don't feel they have to... Most of them are depressed and empty inside, the mystery wears off very quickly and all your left with is a man who treats you like shit. Fuck bad boys (figuratively and literally if the sex is good and they pay for your dinner haha). And I'm team Stefan too by the way. Always thought he was treated so badly by the writers with the whole Elena storyline. Sweetest boyfriend ever, who would choose him over anyone else.

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    • what i wanna know is how in the hell did it shift

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    • @tyber1 you could start by not generalising women as a group...

    • Didn't you kinda do the same thing?

  • I won't lie, I'd fuck the bad guy. And then i'd fuck the good guy and make him my boyfriend. But I would want him to have a similar history to me, with psycho exes stories lol

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  • I agree wholeheartedly! I'm tired of the arrogant bad boy act and the art of playing games. A straightforward attitude is just so much more attractive in a man. 💜

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  • I think what is considered "finishing first" is a bit subjective. The nice guy may get the girl much later in life and die happily but weren't successful in dating earlier on. I don't think a lot of guys see that as finishing first. At least in how that video talked about it. In the long run maybe it has an overall better pay off but a lot of people want to have their fun early on in life and getting it later in life doesn't mean as much to them so they didn't really get what they really wanted.

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    • your full of shit I've always worked to my objective the problem wasn't me it was always the girl that never did want to put in any effort cause you girls so called tradition says that the guy has to do the work in order to get the girl and while I was slaving my ass off the girlfriends that i had all they did was sit on their ass and bitched and complained about how i was doing it

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    • there are 2 main principals for a relationship 1. Trust and 2. Support when you don't have those 2 in a relationship it isn't a relationship whatsoever

    • @CancerianMan81 You need to reread my first message I did not talk about any of the crap you are. I don't MAKE you feel anything. Be an adult and take responsibility for your own feelings. No one respects someone who just moans and bitches and blames all their issues on someone else.

      Go bother someone else you psycho.

  • I find good guys boing mostly in the bedroom

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