10 of the Most Badass Last Words Ever Uttered

We've all thought about it. What are we going to say when the reaper man comes to collect? Are our last words going to be a remark of terror? Are we going to say a funny quip, or are we going to use those words to give the world one last fuck you? Here are ten people who did the latter.

10. St. Lawrence of Rome

Lets be honest if we tied to a spit and being roasted to death the last thing on our minds would be humor but when Saint Lawrence of Rome was being martyred like that his last words were, "I'm done on this side, turn me over." It was for this that he was made the patron saint of COMEDIANS not joking.

9. Kit Carson

In retrospect its fairly obvious that a man who made his living as a frontiersman in the very early American West would have some incredibly awesome last words but what were they for were they talking about the places he has been, the things he has seen. No it was about food, "I just wish I had time for one more bowl of chili." That was his wish it wasn't for another year. It was just for one last tasty and spicy meal.

8. Nathan Hale

In Honor of the Fourth of July I find Patriot Captain Nathan Hales last words to be incredibly fitting.

As the British were about to hang him he said, "I regret that I only have one life to lose for my country." A True American; Willing to lay down his life for others.

7. Humphrey Bogart

An actor who made himself known playing gangsters and private detectives, it makes sense that he would have some theatrical last words. His last words were, "I never should have switched from scotch to martinis." His last words were a quip about his own drinking and that is pretty badass.

6. Errol Flynn

An actor famous for playing swashbuckling heroes and a well known playboy his last words were, "I've had a hell of a lot of fun and I've enjoyed every minute of it."

5. Oscar Wilde

The famous poet and playwright was rather flamboyant and a well known showman. So it makes sense that his last words were, "Either that wallpaper goes or I do." Incredibly last words for an incredible man.

4. Che Guevera

Like him or hate him you cannot deny the impact he has had on society and you also cannot deny that his last words were some of the most badass ever uttered, "I know you've come to kill me, Shoot you are only going to kill a man."

3. Hans Scholl

Now contrary to the belief of some morons, Democratic Socialism IS NOTHING like NAZISM.

In fact The Nazis went out of their way to execute as many democratic socialists as they could. This one was the leader of the pacifist resistance group called the white rose he and his wife Sophie Scholl were executed by guillotine in 1943. His last words were, "Long Live Freedom." This man is a true hero when the rest of Germany fell into racism and fascism he resisted it to his dying breath.

2. George Appel

George Appel was convicted and sentenced to die by the electric chair in the 1920s. After being put in the chair he was asked if he had any last words his response was, "Gentlemen you are about to see a baked Appel." His last words were a pun on his own name that's pretty defiant.

1. Robert Erskine Childers

Being sentenced to death and facing his firing squad his last words were, "Take a step forward lads, it will be easier that way." His last words giving advice to his executioners and making a subtle crack about their aim. That is badass.


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What Girls Said 10

  • Great mytake :)

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  • I will get the mono blacks if it's the Last thing I do

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  • Very funny mytake :P

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  • Cool take.

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  • I was pleasantly surprised that some of these were new to me. There are three articles like this on Cracked and I'm glad you were able to bring something new to the table that is my vast knowledge of badassery.

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  • Seems legit.

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  • Another awesome take, I love famous last words!

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  • Nelson's last words. ( from something I'm writing)

    Mother, father please forgive me for my foolish ways. He then closes his eyes and dies.

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  • Haha... Baked Appel. My one wish is to be this witty when I die.

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What Guys Said 15

  • This was an excellent and entertaining take!

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  • One of my favorite quotes from Orson Welles is when someone told him they were going to colorize Citizen Kane. Welles' response was:

    "You keep Ted Turner and his damn Crayolas away from my movie."

    :P

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  • Funny take! :)

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  • Similar to Humphrey Bogart, Welsh poet and notorious drinker alleged last words to his wife were "I've just had 18 double whiskies"

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  • Nike's just do it campaign was supposedly inspired by serial killer gary gilmore who when asked if he had any last words prior to execution said "let's do it."

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  • Waffles, don't stop writing
    Like to include
    James French. Before being electrocuted, "French fries"

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  • From a children's story: Kung-Fu Elijah in Space:

    Meeper the Rat finds himself headed toward the ground, tied to the space shuttle that the heroes were unable to save. Recalling the deaths of his numerous ancestors and contemplating on his own pending demise, he had but one thing to say about his own:

    "At least... it wasn't... a commercial jet!"

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  • You forgot the most badass one:
    "Allahu Akbar!"

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  • Best last words:
    "pfftt what are you gonna do with that knife"

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  • nice take man. one of the few that i actually enjoyed

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  • "Last words are for fools who haven't said enough!"
    -Karl Marx

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  • Most badass last line ever?

    "Meh..." - random dude.

    Explains everything about life.

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  • Number 2 and number 1 were my favorites. It takes one hell of a human being to stare something like death in the face armed only with humor and zero fucks given.

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  • Sophie Scholl was Hans Scholl's sister, not his wife. They were students at the University of Munich.

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