How Being A Conventionally "Pretty" Girl Has Affected My Life

I don't want this to sound like a cry of attention or as though I am proud, which is why I'm posting anonymously. This is not to be deemed as for any other purpose than to throw some insight onto what it's like to be a conventionally good looking female.

So here are ways conventional beauty has affected my life.

1) How It Has Affected Work

One day I got called into the office at my place of work. In fear that I had forgotten to complete a task or had accidentally broken something, you can imagine how caught off guard I felt when my manager and supervisor explained to me what the problem was.

They said that I couldn't wear a lightly padded or no bra when I came to work anymore. Not because it was offending anyone, or that I appeared less dressed than any of my co-workers, but because I might be turning on the customers and they were concerned that I might be targeted for stalkers and/or rape if I wasn't more conservative with my choices in undergarments.

Another day it was suggested by a supervisor that I stop being overly nice to customers because men might get the wrong idea and I, once again, may be targeted if I'm not careful.

The words "you're a very pretty girl, so we feel concerned..." were used in both circumstances.

Maybe if I weren't pretty, I wouldn't need to worry about being "targeted".


2) How It Has Affected My View On Men

When I was younger I knew that there were bound to be bad guys and good guys. I didn't have a distinct visual line between the two, but I knew one type would want me for my body and one type would want me for my soul.

But after a few smacks in the jaw by puberty and a little touching up to my wardrobe, I soon discovered as a teenager that most guys fall into the former category, specifically ones in my age range.

I have witnessed myself be considered just a girl guys want a crack at, rather than a friend to any guys. Guys I desperately wanted close friendships with turned me away when they realized I wasn't romantically interested in them. Because my friendship wasn't worth their time.

And with that in mind, I never know if a guy is holding a door for me out of generosity, or to check out my ass. And as funny as that sounds, it's actually pretty sad.

Maybe if I weren't pretty I wouldn't need to worry that a guy only likes me for my body.


3) How It Has Affected My View On Women

Women are naturally jealous of other women. I'm no exception to that. I will see a girl in a magazine or a pretty girl walking down the street and automatically dislike her because she makes me feel physically inferior, and I'm not ashamed to say that. It's just a psychological feeling that demands attention.

And with that in mind, I have felt myself lose multiple friends and gain multiple enemies due to girls feeling a similar way towards me. And that is also pretty depressing, because a woman shouldn't be jealous of another womans beauty, we should be supportive and respond with a "you go girl!" attitude.

Maybe if I weren't pretty, a girl wouldn't make a decision on our friendship status based on how much I intimidate her.

4) How It Has Affected My Family Members Views On Me

On more than one occasion, family members have made comments on my appearance. Usually along the lines of:

"You're such a pretty girl, you should go into modelling."

"You're such a pretty girl, you should get a secretary job at a law firm and snag a young lawyer."

"You're such a pretty girl, you should take advantage of that before it's too late."

Maybe if I weren't pretty, my family would have higher expectations of me.

Maybe if I weren't pretty, they'd suggest I become a lawyer.

5) How It Has Affected Strangers Opinions On Me

More often than would be expected, people automatically assume I'm not very bright. How could I be? With a pretty face like that, why would I need to be bright?

People automatically assume I'm not athletic. How could I be? With a pretty face like that, why would I ever do sports?

People automatically assume I need protection to go anywhere by myself. How could I be safe? With a pretty face like that, why would I possibly walk to the store by myself at 7pm?

Maybe if I weren't pretty, people would believe I know how to handle myself. Alone.


But hey, I should't be complaining.

I "lucked out in the gene pool", right?

I "don't have to worry about finding a man", right?

I "have a face other girls would die for", right?


But I guess the grass is always greener.


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What Guys Said 48

  • "But I guess the grass is always greener."

    That's really the key. If you were "average", you'd complain that you were plain and ignored and never got the attention that the pretty girls got. If you were legitimately ugly, you'd of course complain that you could never get a man, etc.

    Everyone - EVERYONE - has upsides and downsides to their appearance, as well as their other characteristics. You can choose either to focus on the negatives, or you can embrace the positives and have such a positive attitude that when the negatives inevitably surface, you are able to assertively dismiss them as being beneath you or irrelevant - or that you feel sorry for the person who has had to stoop to treat you that way.

    The choice is yours, but the first way will leave you depressed and miserable, and the second will keep you positive and happy.

    I used to be in the first group, but I eventually figured out that it really was a choice, and ever since then, I've been solidly in the second group, and MUCH better off for it.

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  • 1. I highly doubt this is the norm for attractive women at the workplace. Your bosses sound insane. I've never heard of a boss telling the workers to be less nice. That sounds pretty counterproductive.

    2. I mean... you expected teenage boys to want you for your soul? It doesn't matter how attractive you are. Most guys that age are trying to build their sexual experience. Not find a wife at 17 years old or whatever.

    Guys didn't turn your friendship away because it wasn't worth their time. Guys turned your friendship away because they wanted more and since that wasn't on the table, they moved on and rightfully so. Why would you want a guy around you that will perpetually pine for you and always hope that you eventually change your mind? Guys don't want to be constantly reminded that they didn't bring enough to the table to attract you.

    If two members of the opposite sex want two different levels of interactivity with one another, the most rational and logical thing to do is to move on.

    3. If you were less attractive, those same women could maintain some smug level of satisfaction amongst themselves that they are superior to you in their own minds. Either way, this is all just female irrationality.

    4. Do you believe if you were less attractive, they would automatically be more supportive of the notion that you are capable of succeeding on your own? Or do you think maybe this older generation is used to gender roles prevalent throughout society for pretty much ever while also pointing out that capitalizing on advantages might be a good thing?

    5. People make judgments and assume things. If you were less attractive, do you really believe they would assume you were bright? Intellect is proven through dialogue and action. Most people are going to assume you are athletic based on how much perceived exercize it looks like you partake in. Most women are taught to be cautious when alone.

    Whether you want to admit it or not, the pros of being attractive far outweigh the cons. You have a much larger pool of potential mates, you are going to be treated like you matter in society, you will garner more respect in general. It increases employment opportunities, etc.

    I mean, do you honestly wish you were less attractive? Do you think coming up with a few anecdotal stories will prevent anyone from wishing they were more attractive?

    I hope some guy writes a similar list about how tough their life is because they have money.

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  • Boohoo. My life is hard because I'm pretty. Be thankful you aren't a baby girl in China.

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    • Or a man anywhere.

    • China recently relaxed the rules to fight the aging population and no one to take care of them... Dec 2015... couples can have 2 kids now. Nothing to be said of females, it's "you get whatever you have."

  • For some reason people don't seem to get that first you like a person for their appearance and then you fall in love with them for their soul. You can't have one without the other.

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  • You're right, being attractive has disadvantages, just as every condition does. But at the end of the day, you wouldn't trade places with an ugly or average person. Whereas lots of ugly and average people out there would gladly trade places with you, even knowing the disadvantages. It's like when rich celebrities complain about stuff, their complaints are often true. They really are under constant threat of stalking, kidnapping, and invasions of privacy that the rest of us couldn't imagine. But they still would never trade places with an average nobody. It would be pretty easy to do -- just give away most of their money and never do another movie or album again. The rich and famous can always become poor and obscure. Married people can always become single again if they want. But it's often difficult or impossible to go the other way. If you're poor, single, ugly, etc., there may be no way out. So try to focus on the advantages you have because they are considerable. Attractive people tend to make more money, be more successful, get better treatment, and have more doors opened to them. If you could spend a week as an ugly girl or a man, you'd realize this.

    Also, you may be judging all guys by the ones who approach you. Guys who would walk up to a gorgeous girl and start chatting her up tend to be pretty cocky and have selected you based on appearance alone. But they don't represent everyone. Maybe you should develop other parts of your personality or get some interesting hobbies to have more to offer as a friend. You can also develop friendships online without giving away what you look like and in that way get to have interactions without your appearance being a factor.

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  • I'm not saying that being beautiful doesn't have its drawbacks. However, I believe the benefits outweigh the drawbacks.

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  • Sorry to hear that things are so hard for you.
    My dad used to say that you can always find 'Sympathy' in the dictionary between 'SHT and 'Syphilis'!
    Tell me you have something to offer, other than your looks, which will be gone in 15 years, at most!! I need a woman, a companion, that shares interests, feelings, not just some pretty face.
    Sorry if that sounds cruel, but everyone at the table has a hand to play, some have nothing others have a Royal Flush. . .

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  • I know I only hold doors for girls these days if they are on crutches, unless I want to check out their body close up. What better excuse than holding the door? Everyone thinks I am just being polite.

    But the serious aspect of this should be kept in mind. Girls are still pigeonholed, largely, based on their looks here in the good old USA. As she says in the Take, she has opportunities others lack, but those come with expectations and burdens--sleeping with the 'right' men, mainly.

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  • Surprisingly all "anonymous under 18" girls claim to be beautiful...

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  • Oh no, too pretty? It's like being too rich. Sooo much drama.

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  • Don't be dumb. If you were ugly you'd be depressed.

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  • Well, you really would be targeted more to be kidnapped or raped, or whatever if you are pretty because, well though there are some very rare occurrences of rape of an old grandma, it's usually the pretty ones. Well, at least they think they're pretty. So it is less safe.
    Me personally, I'm a 6' tall guy that lifts weights and knows martial arts. I still carry weapons with me all the time too. A little paranoid? Yes. Have I ever been in a situation I was unprepared for? No.

    The lawyer thing, well they just figure, why try hard, when as a pretty girl, you could have a decent life much more easily than other people.

    If you are actually pretty, you wouldn't be a model. Most of those women are ugly and just cake on loads of makeup.

    Many pretty women have terrible personalities because they are used to getting things so easily and not having to work for it, so many people that have to work really hard for a long time do resent that.

    The work thing just seems very unusual. I would think most businesses wouldn't care and would be glad because it could draw in more customers for more profit.

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  • There are tradeoffs to everything and it is helpful to share as most people don't think about the negatives of being pretty. I'll bet you've lost guys because you are too intimidating.

    You may be focusing too much on it though, many things apply if you are just a girl, or just a (whatever). I'd hold a door open for a girl/woman, pretty or not, if I want to for my reason, to be nice, helpful, to strike up a conversation, because she sparked my interest.

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  • When it comes to men, if you want a real relationship you can always go online, sure you may not have that much spare time and etc to spend with him or do things with him and you can't bond with him as much, but you wouldn't need to show yourself for a long while to where you would create an emotional bond with him and see if you are truly compatible, and personally when it comes to opening doors I've never checked a girl out while doing it, I'm not sure if it's because It's just something I don't do in general or if it's because I was raised to be polite and hold the door open for people, not just women (Although I do feel the need to do it more for women for some reason)

    People automatically assuming you need protection is just the way of the world, that also comes into race as much as it does attraction and gender. People make assumptions about everyone, what they wear/how they dress, how they speak, and what they look like physically. There are pros and cons to being beautiful and not being beautiful or being "ugly" ultimately though, I think most people feel quite alone and as if nobody understands them until they find the one, or somebody they can truly tell anything to without judgment being slammed onto them, which is rare.

    I'm sorry you were encouraged to take advantage of people rather than to be able to take care of yourself and be independent and that you were seen in the ways you were seen as but, suppose it's just how people see it now, specially in specific countries. Try to find yourself and be happy with who you are, not with who people tell you who you are or expect you to be a specific way. Very good take though thanks for sharing. <3

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  • Interesting.
    I once new a couple of models who said similar things.
    I dated one of them for a while. I was the first man to ever take her to dinner and the first man to ever send her a rose.
    That blew my mind.
    In the end, she left me for a man who had more to offer (financially). Female hypergamy wins again.

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  • well its better to be beautiful than be ugly and be unloved, alone, unwanted, never complimented, and viewed like i have a disease or mental illness.
    so.
    try being ugly and have no one care that you exist.
    your so lucky
    your beauty is NOT a burden or curse its a gift.
    and guys desire girls, get used to it, id be nice if girls wanted us guys the same way instead of girls being in love with themselves.

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  • 1) men and women are NOT Friends. Cannot be "friends" in the truest definition. Straight men do not want to have women friends. Esp really hot women friends. We are sexually driven. we want to date/have sex with women, not pal around with them. Certainly men and women can be "friendly". Sometimes it is almost the same as being "Friends". but by definition it is nowhere close. Men don't understand women. and from what I can see on this site, women don't seem to understand men. So friends is just not possible. You don't want to fuck your friend.
    2) It is impossible to feel sorry for the "Pretty People" of the world. You have it easier then the rest of us. And for the women? Forgetaboutit. it is like the world is handed to you on a platter. I know it isn't that persons fault they won at the gene lottery. But they need to just be thankful and be on their way.

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    • I've never had a female friend come evac me from the side of a highway at 4:30a.

  • Not trying to undermine you or anything..
    Nor am i saying that i dont understand or that these issues dont matter, but..

    First world problems..

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  • Trust you're lucky and many girls wish they were you , it makes life much easier for you and helps you do things other can't, lots of guys will appraoch you and eventually you will find one to settle down with.

    as for friendships i have a no friendships with gilrs police i dont have close female friends and iam not interested i get close to a girl for two reasons, relationships or sex, if she's decent and pretty relationships it is if she sleeps around and slutty its sex then , my point in avoid befriending guys it doesn't work someone will always have feelings beyond friendships.

    as for your customers and work place... okay this is tricky i feel sometimes that a girl at a store is really nice to me or trying to flirt but i never do anything its her job and she has to be nice so i never think much of it and many guys do think like that, however at the same time if you're as pretty as you are telling us then lots of other guys will be trying to get your number or date you so yes wearing modest clothes is a good idea.

    jealousy... yeah happens to guys too

    family will always think like that you will probably get married eventually and they want you to get a decent guy , strangers will judge you as well , iknow a girl who must be the most beautiful in the entire college and even city she's simply gorgeous and that does kinda make her automaticaly sound dumb, but i've learned through past experiences that really pretty girls are actually smart most of the time.

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  • Stunningly insightful.

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What Girls Said 39

  • Truth to the T! This is exactly me! I try being friends with certain girls and they 'pretend' to like me. But when I attract certain guys and have great conversations with them [no flirting], and I'm just innocently speak with them naturally, they get pissed! And I'm not even interested in these guys like that at all, and they get upset when they like them, but don't ask them out. But when I tell them they need to step up and go do it, they claim they can't because I'm getting the guys attention. I mean, seriously? I didn't ask to be in a love triangle when suddenly the guys supposedly showed interest in me. ) 0. o What did I do? I always asked those questions. Especially with some family members! While those were yours mine were:

    "Your such a pretty girl [my name], you should get married."
    "How come you don't want to get a boyfriend?"
    "YOU DON'T WANT KIDS? But your such a beautiful GIRL!"

    Trust me I feel the exact same way. Nobody really wants me for me, even in church nobody paid me any mind. Just because I look 'attractive' to them. I honestly just want to be by myself. I'm tired of hearing everybody else's expectations of what they want me to do. It's taxing, it's draining, and they have no idea how bad your situation is when your looks can either bring about peace or start a war. Like they had described Helen of Troy, they started a whole war over her. Ridiculous. That's when I say: "I just want to be normal." :(

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  • Ugh listen hunny if being 'pretty' disturbs you that much there are MILLIONS of ways to make yourself look ugly, but not vice versa. And then you can be happy. So be happy with what you have got cause pretty soon you have won't have it and you'll feel sorry for moping and unecessarily complaining. I do agree with your take a little bit though that if you're attractive people only see that that's the only downside, but it has many positives too so be smart and look at the positive side.

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  • memecrunch.com/.../5113a533afa96f1fcd00001e.jpg

    Seriously, what was the point of this take?
    If you're that concerned about being attractive go and get plastic surgery to get uglier. Jeez#firstworldproblems

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    • How does it possibly make sense in your brain that an anonymous person could be fishing for compliments? #Wow Lol

  • Regardless of gender, the fact is conventionally attractive people have it much easier than the conventionally ugly.

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    • I can't find a belt strong enough to hold my pants up when I'm carrying around my gold bullion! My Bugatti gets TERRIBLE gas mileage! The bathroom is like 350 feet from my bedroom! I have to walk SOOOO FAR and with all that gold bullion in my pockets I get tired!

    • @Transigence It takes like 10 MINUTES to put on makeup, and then I have shaky hands so sometimes it takes even longer ;-; I often find myself having to make meals because we don't have snacks ;c It's difficult trying to choose between my Gucci high heels and my Louis Vuitton sneakers in the mornings. GOD it's SO HARD living in a first world country man.

  • Lol... What did I just read there?
    Hun, if you feel no one is taking you seriously and you are constantly being preyed on then maybe it's time you reconsider your behavior in public... It doesn't have anything to do with your breathtaking beauty! If you act incompetent then people will suggest you become a secretary. Believe me, no one's gonna suggest you become a lawyer only because your features are not aesthetically pleasing 😏

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  • well no one knows anything about anyone until they do. if you want people to think yore not just pretty then be not just pretty unpretty women have the same problem just without being pretty.

    the guys who deem you not worth their time for friendship would not seedily be your friend if they were not attracted to you they just never wouldve preemie to like you in the first place.

    your family might still say you shoul get a husband but click their tinged bc unfortunately you're not pretty

    people who have will hate whether you are pretty or not. its not about you its about their own insecurity. people who are unattractive complain people are mean to them bc of that.

    people would still worry about you going out bc w omen get rape whether they are pretty or ugly 15 or 90

    people will still be telling you what to wear except the say you shouldn't wear x y z bc you're ugly.

    people would still assume you're dumb until proven otherwise, bc believe it or not women are by and large not respected just by the fact they are women.

    basically nothing you mention is a probe m bc you are pretty. you're imagining its bc you are pretty bc you are pretty. if you were not pretty you have the same problems but also not be pretty.

    this post is more like insight into how attractive people assume they have 'exceptional problems due to being attractive.

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  • Great take.
    I'd definitely say the grass is always greener on the other side. it's human nature to want what you don't have...
    Your problems aren't any less of a problem than anyone else's, they may just be different, but they're still problems.
    I'm guessing people don't take these kinds of problems seriously because mostly... they just can't relate - and, as you said - the grass is always greener...

    http://i.imgur.com/0nUzGeS.gif

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    • P. S. But ask yourself this: does your life, as you're living it now, have more positive things or negative things? If the answer is positive... then you're doing something right.

  • Complaining about being pretty, really n*gga? 😑

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  • Great take, very insightful. I can relate.
    But I still think that regardless, the conventionally attractive have it a lot easier than the conventionally unattractive.
    Just remember to always look on the bright side, and to count your blessings.

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    • You look pretty plain... not sure how you relate to it. You do know every girl is told by their family that she is pretty etc? And by their friends lol.

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    • Erm free speech... make me? What are you going to do? Nothing. If I has the chance to say this to you in person you wouldn't nor couldn't do anything.

    • @Jamesol1 I'd walk away if this happened in person, so I'd never have to encounter you again. Unfortunately, the only sure way I can do this on the internet is by blocking you.

  • Is GAG just for those suffere from PMS or Poor Me Syndrome and victim culture ie im a victim of my good looks lmao.

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  • There are downsides to every situation, but that doesn't mean you aren't still lucky to be blessed with conventional good looks. I get what you are saying, and I completely understand that those are difficult situations. But dealing with serious insecurities- feeling like you will never be noticed, never be enough, never find someone who will be attracted to you or appreciate you the way you are- that's really tough. Being asked by your boss to wear more clothes, or having annoying people suggest a modeling career- yes, those things are inappropriate and annoying, and I'm sorry that our society has put you in those situations. But if you think it holds a candle to being made fun of for your looks, or crying yourself to sleep because of all the things you hate about your appearance, think again. Nobody has it perfect, but physical attractiveness can open a lot of doors for you.

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    • Also, there are lots of extremely attractive women who are also seen as intelligent and capable and are taken very seriously. Maybe it's time for you to think about what YOU can do to change how society perceives you. This isn't just about looks. If you want to be a lawyer, go be a lawyer. Just because nobody steered you down that road, it doesn't mean you can't choose that path for yourself.

  • I understand everything you're saying, and I'm sorry you've been affected this way too. Many girls deal with this.

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  • I'm not really sure I see the problem in a few of these, then again, I'm not in your shoes, so I don't know what you're going through.

    I find a problem with the first one because they were singling you out based on how you look. What if there's a less attractive woman there that has really huge breasts? What are the odds she can turn a male customer on? Plus, what you wear under your clothes shouldn't be any of their business/concern, unless it really does interfere with dress code. I doubt a bra does. We can't control what a customer thinks of us. The only thing we're responsible for is being nice, having a nice character, and making sure their transactions and other services are properly and professionally handled.

    As far as within public, yes, I believe the prettier you are, the more you are preyed on. I can say with experience, I have felt tensed up to walk alone sometimes to the store or gas station. This is not to say I think I'm the most gorgeous girl on the planet. People seem to think if you think of yourself as at least slightly attractive, you're full of yourself. So, it's sad I have to say this. But yes, sometimes you get unwanted attention. But when I was riding the city bus alone after school, I've had some really creepy men really freak me out, especially when they insisted in trying to pursue me when it was clear I wasn't interested. I've had quite a few fearful encounters.

    Women, which I can tell from how some have responded to you can be such viscous creatures toward one another, and I can relate. When I'm at the gym and I see a woman who has a nicely toned butt (yet mines is as flat as a pancake) I start wishing I had it for myself, rather than just being content with what I have, becuase I KNOW deep down if she and I were in a butt contest, she'd win becuase nice rounder butts are more desirable, then again, why should I live to please somebody else? If a woman has skinnier arms instead of flappy ones, I'll get jealous. If a woman has no stomach, but I have a belly, I'll get jealous instead of being mostly motivated to workout harder.

    I think you're fine where you are. Things could honestly be worse If you were to get in an accident and your face was badly scraped or permanently damaged. There are ups and downs when it comes things such as
    1) Being pretty
    2) Being ugly
    3) Being tall
    4) Being short
    etc...

    I think we all can relate to something.

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  • Apart from men being nice to you and you wondering whether they are real gentlemen or just horny, I dont agree with you. It has been proven that attractive women are hired easily for jobs and get more favours from people especially men.

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  • I go trough that too but my country is slighty different people are nice to (escpecially men) and even if I made a mistake and do something wrong at work peaople will always forgive me (boss and customer). Being beatiful have more advantage than bad sides

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  • Ok seriously be happy that you are pretty, I'm not pretty like you and I get treated like dirt from guys and other people cause of my appearance it hard to change up my looks and personality so people can assume me in a better way.

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  • I mean I'm told I'm pretty and I don't really agree with you. Yeah some of the things you mentioned can be a little annoying- but it's a hell of a lot better than being considered ugly.

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    • Your sort of average. Most women who are average - very attractive are told many things and seeked out from men wanting to bone.

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    • I got warned by an admin... I'm not allowed to post it. you can try searching it up...

    • @Jamesol1 send it through messenger

  • Just count your blessings darling.

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  • I can actually relate. Great take.

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