I've got depression
And I've had it for years and even when I'm at my darkest I put on a brave face for the people around me. I know right now and at other times when I feel okay that I shouldn't but in the throes of despair its hard to remember that I shouldn't be hiding this so here are the most common lies I'll tell.
I tell this all the time when I'm depressed, I'm good right now but last night I was in a rather dark spot but my friend asked how I was feeling and like usual my response was fine. Its the lie everyone struggling with depression tells. Its part of the facade we put up so to not hurt those we care about. We don't want them to worry so we don't let them know that there is anything to worry about. So the next time someone you care about who is struggling with depression tells you they are fine. Ask them if they really are fine or not as its quite possible they are screaming on the inside.
I just feel sick
That quote right up there is completely true. My close family understand and so do my close friends but I know that a good majority of my extended family would just think that I'm a wimp and that I just need to 'have a positive attitude' which is complete and utter bullshit. So whenever I'm around them and my depression is kicking my ass I tell them things like, 'I just didn't sleep well' or 'I have a headache' or even 'I didn't sleep at all last night' because at least then they won't think I'm just being selfish and that their is at least something wrong. Its a way to at least inform them that something is going on with me even if its not what they think.
I know that it will all pass
On my days where I feel okay I do understand this but in the absolute thick of it when I'm with people who know and understand this. I tell them I know it will pass and things will get better and while in the days I feel good and okay I know this is true but at the absolute worst I don't believe this, I think that this will be all I feel that this will be the new normal. I'm dying by inches and I don't think I will recover.
However I want to leave this message of hope.