What You'd Want - and Need - to Survive a Zombie Invasion

I actually thought of writing this one a while back but decided not to. Since its October I thought I would.

The Scenario

Now because every single 'scientific' explanation for zombies is filled with bad science. I'm saying fuck it. A bunch of idiots opened up the book of the dead and read aloud. Now Zombies have invaded the earth. You are in a group of people who banded together to survive, hunt, and gather and maybe rebuild civilization. I will go over the IDEAL gear, some of these would be near impossible to find.

What you'd want every member of the group to carry.

1. A .22 Caliber Handgun, preferably a revolver since they don't jam. You'd want it since the ammo is easy to acquire as its the most common, and after a year or two where someone would have set up a settlement. It'd be easiest to manufacture.

2. Three outfits of hiking clothes

Long sturdy pants, A sturdy shirt. wool socks. and a pair of boots This will keep you warm and it will require less patching long term

3. A Wide Brimmed Hat, I.E a cowboy hat, A Fedora (NOT A TRILBY)

Summer, Spring, and Fall you will need to keep the sun off of your face and neck.

4. Winter Gear

Coat, Hat, Gloves. It will get cold in the winter and you'll still need to hunt and gather.

5. A Cutlass

Now I've thought a while for what the ideal melee weapon would be in a zombie invasion. Its the Cutlass, You'd want some reach, so a knife is out of the question. You'd want it to be sturdy and have survival use and a cutlass is an effective way to cut through ropes and things. A cutlass is a good solid sword.

6. A hiking Backpack

7. Flint and Steel

You'll need to be able to keep warm

8. A Multi-tool

A whole lot of uses and it will help a fuckload.

9. Three waterbottles

What you'd want at least two people in the group to have

1. A Medical Kit

You will need first aid at some point and having two in the group will probably save a life.

2. A Submachine-gun

If attacked you'd want two people to be able to lay down supressing fire on these demonic zombie things.

3. A Semi-automatic Hunting Rifle

You are going to need to be able to hunt A semi-auto rifle will let you hunt at mid range.

4. A woodcutters axe and a hatchet

You'll need to be able to chop wood.

5. A survival Knife

6. Rope

Has a billion uses and you will probably need it.

7. Fishing Wire

8. Fishing Rods

9. Camping Cookware

You'll need to cook the food and boil water to make it drinkable.

10 Lockpicks

You'll want to get passed a locked door sometime.

11. Binoculars

It will make things easier.

12. A shotgun

#happyhalloween


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What Girls Said 15

  • 1mo

    I heard that if zombies ever come around the weather (extreme heat or cold) will just kill them. So all you really have to do is stay inside and wait it out.

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    • 1mo

      These aren't those zombies, these are demon-zombies

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    • 1mo

      Some legends say they live in woods google it.

    • 1mo

      Skin walkers are just people that turn into animals, occasionally using a special pelt to do so (not unlike some versions of the werewolf) so I would imagine what ever would kill the person would kill a skin walker. The hard part would be trying to identify one.

  • 1mo

    Well, I'm really fucked if there's ever a zombie invasion lmao.

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  • 1mo

    All very useful information. Mainly because this might happen when the election ends.

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  • 1d

    nice*

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  • 1mo

    My weapons:

    3 Japanese swords, including a katana
    Yumi (Longbow)
    Yari or Naginata
    Tanegashima (Japanese matchlock)

    tjō
    hanbo
    tanbo
    kanabo
    jutte
    kusarigama
    Kusari-fundo
    kaiken
    shuriken
    kunai
    makibishi
    shikomizue
    land mines
    fukiya
    poisoned darts
    acid-spurting tubes
    happō
    yari

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  • 1mo

    you really thought this through

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  • 1mo

    I love ALL of your Takes , because you " talk" about a range of topics. Which are always enjoyable to read , and informative

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  • 1mo

    aight imma get my shit together cause this can happen anytime lmao plus the getaway car XD

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  • 1mo

    Flares would be nice too. :>

    I like this mytake, zombies are terrible but so fun to watch movies about.

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  • 1mo

    Nice take!

    Anyone would have a big chance of surviving a Zombie Invasion if they had these things.
    I wouldn't survive tough Lol

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  • 1mo

    I would switch the cutlass for a Katana :)

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  • 1mo

    Here is a list of some things I'd like my team to have:

    A sub-machine gun/personal defense weapon + 400 rounds of ammunition
    a knife
    6 hand grenades
    grenade launcher
    a silent pistol
    ground-to -air missiles
    mines
    plastic explosives
    sniper rifle + 160 rounds
    small portable nuclar charge (TNT 800-2000 tons)
    flamethrower
    crosbow
    ---
    tactical vest
    bulletproof vest
    all-purpose leightweight invididual carrying equipment
    a navigation module
    telephone-sized computer
    helmet with special monito (eye monitor, thermal, night vision, flashlight)
    headphones
    medical suply
    power suply
    survival kit
    food suply

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    • 1mo

      food kit should include:
      *60g sugar
      *antiseptic towelettes
      *five chocolate bars
      *water purification tablets
      *vitamins
      *two flameless ration heaters
      *nut and apricot bar
      *coffee and tea
      *apple jelly
      *minced sausage
      *beef porridge
      *beef goulash with potatoes
      *five packs of crackers
      *cherry drink mix
      *chocolate hazelnut spread
      *three packs muesli
      *fish liver pâté
      *fish brain pâté

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    • 1mo

      The list is the basic russian paratrooper equipment... additional equipment is added depending on the mission.

    • 1mo

      Well then you'd clearly be unprepared considering
      "Now because every single 'scientific' explanation for zombies is filled with bad science. I'm saying fuck it. A bunch of idiots opened up the book of the dead and read aloud. Now Zombies have invaded the earth. You are in a group of people who banded together to survive, hunt, and gather and maybe rebuild civilization. I will go over the IDEAL gear, some of these would be near impossible to find."

  • 1mo

    Gasoline and matches would be helpful. Set the zombies on fire or use them for a heat source.

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  • 1mo

    I never understood why nobody ever take a boat off to some isolated island during zombie apocalypses. And if there's people there Im pretty sure they wouldn't be infected due to isolation...

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    • 1mo

      Yeah... the tv show z nation tried that already its not working out for them to well so far lol.

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    • 1mo

      @Waffles731 ahahahahaha oh lord, at least you had back up. I haven't actually been so unlucky while sailing, never been seasick in my life. Only unlucky time was when the boom of the sail hit my forehead and knocked me out for a bit. 😂😅 At least I survived

    • 1mo

      Lol yeah that's what I was saying GPS probably wouldn't work. And you wouldn't know how to navigate the ocean like sailors would using the stars and stuff.

  • 1mo

    Omg I hate zombiessss 😱😱

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What Guys Said 22

  • 1mo

    I think I would go with a rapier than a cutlass.

    Cool MyTake

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    • 1mo

      Rapiers can't cut rope, they are useless at a utility purpose

    • 1mo

      But if I have a knife in my back pocket I could always use that. I would go with the rapier for the safety distance and how accurate a rapier can be.

  • 1mo

    Don't need the lock pick if you just hack the wall with the axe. So you'll need a few creative thinkers instead.

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    • 1mo

      lockpicks are quiet though

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    • 1mo

      Lockpicks are for the occasions when stealth is essential.

    • 1mo

      Take two team members, hand them each 3 and 11. Set them up at both ends of the street of the target. As look outs if Z's are coming. If the stealth team hears One shot means the southern route is cut off/ Two if the North is cut off. Multiple shots... Scatter! Meet back at base.

  • 1mo

    you know I have never thought about it before, but a cutlass would be great sword for a zombie apocalypse

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  • 1mo

    you forgot one thought its not something anyone but me thinks will help. you qill also need a few people who prefer saving the lives of animals or some thing. because its been proven more than once they go back for fish etc , in a burning building. you should use this to your advantage. and have them distract the demon zombies by yelling and screaming abut the animal in trouble.

    it will give you an extra minute or to too flee the area and out of danger since they will go after the impassioned person trying to save an animal. and to make it seem not so bad give them a gun or something for protection. and a place to meet you when they have the animal saved.

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  • 1mo

    Cutlass hunh? Probably not my first choice of sidearms, To me the issue is reach and strength a large machete would do just fine, as you are not parying any other weapon, and it has a large heavy blade. It seems that you are wasting weight for handguard. As for the lockpicks without knowledge of how to use them, pretty useless.

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  • 1mo

    I disagree, guns are loud and they draw attention, they need to be cleaned in order to prevent jamming and your relying on something with a significantly finite ammunition. A bow would be a better long range weapon simply because you could recover the arrows or make more (you could even light them on fire if you want though that could just lead to burns on top of zombie bites). If you had one of the old school manual double barrel shotguns then you could manage to make that work since no moving parts and thus no jamming plus its easier to reuse shot gun shells and you could theoretically make your own gun powder (sulfur, charcoal, and saltpeter/nitre/potassium nitrate (it tends to form as a white powder on damp stone surfaces like in garages and such). Plus you can always just take the powder from any other bullet and use it in the shot gun shell. I would say machete for melee because its wide which gives it incredible durability along its impact point (the edge and across the blade) plus being thin its also very flexible so you can just twist it and it will dislodge which if you get surrounded would be very useful since if a weapon gets lodged in a zombie skull that's extra time to be overrun while your trying to extract it. Plus being wider you can just grind out any chips in the blade without any real loss in blade integrity. Hatchet would definitely be a must just for getting fire wood or tinder as well as a emergency weapon. You would definitely want a cantine though because running water is not common place enough so you would want to be able to transport it. I would say wire might be better then fishing lines (since you can always spear fish) since it would let you make snares for various woodland creatures plus it would allow you to, if you have a bell or something, to create an alarm system (something hits wire and rings bell) or for traps. Rope or cord would definitely be a must as well. Definitley winter gear and flint and steel since most other methods of fire making take hours (you can also use a 9 volt and steel wool for a quick fire). Backpack as well would be a must. I would say definitely want a first aid kit with sutures and bandages as well as antiseptics (the Egyptians used moldy bread to disinfect wounds (functioned similar to penicillian) though I would rather not experiment on myself). I don't know if you would need lockpicks, its the end of the world so I don't think any one is going to really care if you just shoot or bash a lock.

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  • 1mo

    Why are you assuming the wildlife would be consumable after drinking tainted water from streams dead zombies are floating in that were stabbed in the head or bitten and zombified?

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  • 1mo

    There's already a disiese that it's victim behaves like zombie

    Zombies more peaceful than humans

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  • 1mo

    I'm pretty much set up.

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  • 1mo
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    • 1mo

      That hat looks a bit difficult to run with...

    • 1mo

      @Rainie_ haha yeah but it was their accessory. I mean Janissaries ofcourse weren't wearing them in battles, they were wearing them in festivals or in capital city :D

  • 1mo

    This looks more like the beginning of brokeback mountain.
    scontent-lax3-1.xx.fbcdn.net/.../...34656358_n.jpg

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  • 1mo

    Good thinking, great Take, as always 👍

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  • 1mo

    A metal bet, a gun,, ammo, food, bandages, survival kits, a specialist at combat, hand to hand, shooting, an expert at survival, a pro medic, and a random funny person

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    • 1mo

      Sure, a katana would be sick, but I am scared that it might stuck in the bone or something at one point, leaving me screwed

  • 1mo

    Not sure about a revolver. Much harder to reload under stress, especially when you take into account the size of.22 ammo.

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  • 1mo

    I prefer a Katana over a cutlass but everything else is on point. Good take👍.

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    • 1mo

      Katana's aren't sturdy and doesn't have any utility functions

    • 1mo

      It all depends on the kind of Katana, a lot Katanas break easily cause they're cheap but the authentic ones actually last longer. It has the same cutting power of one of the European "bastard" swords, a sword master proved it on a show but I forgot the name of it.

    • 1mo

      However a authentic Katana takes a year to make😆.

  • 1mo

    A highly durable solar powered blimp particularly solar power to let me compress air to lower it in the day so i could scavenge for supplies such as food and weapons.

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  • 1mo

    Your advice is trivial at best
    Sorry

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  • 1mo

    I'd argue a few things on your list.
    .22 revolver- revolvers are extremely difficult to load under stress, especially with tiny.22LR rounds. And the ammo is plentiful, but impossible to manufacture without specialized equipment.
    SMG- hard to get, and not practical. You'll get more shots on target with semi-auto, with far less wasted ammo.
    Fishing rods- bulky, delicate and unnecessary. Tie the line to a stick.
    Cookwear- again, bulky. One pot should be sufficient.

    A bow would be a must for a post apocalypse survival team. Quiet, simple and infinite ammo.
    I'd bring some bleach or purification tablets. Clean water without the hassle of boiling.

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    • 1mo

      I expect within a year or two that plenty of major cities will have some sort of government and civilization, and they will be able to make ammo.
      I was toying with the idea of a cap and ball revolver for that though, as it'd be the first guns that would be able to produce ammo for

    • 1mo

      Centerfire rounds are easy to make, but.22LR is rimfire. Big difference.

    • 1mo

      I know its rimfire
      but its still 19th century tech. Civil War era tech at that

  • 1mo

    Some things is don't agree with:

    1. The.22 revolver. It's loud, first of all. Second, I don't know how you're going to just "acquire" ammo. It might be the most common round in the world but they aren't going to just be laying around randomly in the streets. You're better off with a crossbow. It's quieter and you can reuse the bolts. The revolver would be good to have but I wouldn't rely on it.

    2. The cutlass. A cutlass? The one pictured is so absurd. First if all where would you even find an actual, fully functioning one and not a display version? You'd need a blade that is both weapon AND tool and a machete would be the much more logical choice. They sell them every where and they're actually made to be used for outdoors/survival situations.

    3. An SMG.. don't know if you're referring to fully automatic SMG or a semi auto, I hope for you're sake it's a semi because getting your hands on a full auto SMG is next to impossible unless you have a lot of money and a squeaky clean record. And kinda like the whole.22 ammo thing, those won't just be laying around, I can promise you.

    4. Semi auto hunting rifle. It would be much smarter to go with a bolt action. Far less change of failure and malfunction in the same way a revolver is more dependable than a semi auto handgun.

    5. All the extra shit to carry around. The heavy winter jacket, the 3 sets of cloths, the camping cookware. That's all heavy shit and to lug that around would suck. It's totally feasible to cook with out cook ware so those aren't needed at all. Unless you live an a climate that with varying weather those extra cloths don't seem necessary to me.

    The whole guns thing I don't like. You'd be carrying around 3 different kinds of ammunition (.22, 9mm, 7.62) and ammo gets heavy quick, if you didn't know that. Choosing one gun instead of 3 would be wiser and I'd probably go with an AR-15. The 5.56/.223 round is extremely common and reliable and the gun itself is solid. It can be used to hunt, kill zombies, fend off people, it's more accurate than a hand gun but less so than a long rifle. It's a solid middle ground.

    Those are my primary criticisms!

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    • 1mo

      I already said that some of these would be near impossible to acquire, this is the perfect load out.
      The.22 is also the most common round out there

    • 1mo

      Perfect in your opinion, definitely not mine. You'd have to actually know how to use some of those things. The cutlass is beyond impractical. I'm just waiting for someone to say they'd use a katana they bought off of ebay or grabbed from a museum. And the lockpicks? You don't magically become a wizard that can open anything with them, you have to actually learn how to properly use them so unless you're learning now, don't count on it if the hypothetical shit hit the fan. And again, the.22 rounds. You gonna carry them around in a bag or something? How many do you plan on having? How exactly do you plan on getting more when you run out? You gonna use the same rounds in that SMG and hunting rifle? Good luck. And I hope you don't plan on taking down big game, like a deer, with that.22 cause it ain't happening. .22 is for varmint at most, a coyote at best.

      My question is what would YOU have cause there's absolutely no way you're carrying all of that yourself.

  • 1mo
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