Through the Looking Glass: I've Matured, and I'm Finally Satisfied With My Life

My moment happened a bit later than some people (age 26). Nonetheless, I am happy it happened now and not never, because some people never truly learn to appreciate themselves and their life.

Insecurities: I have always been told I was too slim and that I had a big nose. I also was not very confrontational, and allowed be to get away with doing as they pleased to me. I kept comparing my appearance with others, and didn't believe I was beautiful. I wanted to be popular after I made some changes to my appearance, and I was achieving a lot academically and financially. Yet, I was treated the same. People still found flaws in my appearance, I was used for the way I looked, for my money and the things I had access to. I realize that self acceptance starts, and end with me. I had to learn how to truly love myself. It was a process that took about 2 years, but i am content with who I am. I do not need others to justify me for what they think I am, I know myself best.

My Crowning moment: I went through depression, and overcame it after learning that my bff was raped, and she attempted suicide. We were both sexually abused as children, and I felt it was so unfair that this had happened to her again, in her adult life. Once again, by someone she trusted, a friend.

The stress of the situation resulted in my failure and dismissal from my undergrad program.

I lost all of my so called friends, people looked down on me. However, I had to find the strength to get up and succeed for me. After all if I didn't fight for myself, who will?

Later that year I notice that I gave people and men too much power over me. Different men, same results. Therefore, I was the problem.

I began a path that would reward me happiness, peace of mind, and little drama. I became aggressive with my goals, and I rewarded myself according, as I accomplished them. i have fallen in love with me by living a more fulfilling, selfless life. I stopped letting my experiences define me. I defined myself, and my experiences. I started a business, I worked hard and most of all I kept a positive attitude and I was unapologetic of cutting people, and things off that didn't add to the movement.

This was tested after I had to let go a 14 year old friendship and a 10 year old lover-boy relationship. I was good friends with an ex boyfriend, and he stayed at my place a few times....no sex. I confided in a close friend that I did not know he was dating my other friend. Anyways, I immediately became public enemy number one, because she later went and told his girlfriend, he then confronted me.

Dazed and confused I pondered heavily on who could have been the culprit. Neither my sister or my cousin would have done it, no, not one of my closest friend. I was patient and eventually the truth was revealed, and all hell broke loose. I confronted both parties about their betrayal, and they both could not accept that we were all wrong to some extent, and try to talk it out as adults. Hard to say, I had to make the tough decision to let everyone in the situation go, because I came to terms that I am worth the best.

I am to be respected, loved, appreciated, cared for genuinely. The value of my friendships are not solely based on the number of friends that I have, but the quality of the friendship we share. Neither of us are better than the other, the roles are equal, this isn't a hierarchical system, where one friend is considered more than the other because of their profession, or paycheck. Since then, I have encouraged others to find their crowning moment..define it and stay on that path to a life with little stress, fulfillment, happiness, and appreciation. Do not tolerate disrespect.

We live in a world where people equate wealth with happiness, and gratification. Hence, the reason everyone is so quick to share every minute detail of their life on social media. What if all of this internet fame and solidarity is just a phase ? Stop comparing your life to others, love yourself and your life for what it is. You know your true potential, grind hard until you've reach your destination, but never forget to show gratitude. Patience is key, for anyone who has patience, has everything.
All the best on your journey to becoming a better, happier you.


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What Guys Said 13

  • 1mo

    i like that dog gif near the end

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  • 1mo

    Keep waiting, you're almost mature. Almost. Any minute now.

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  • 1mo

    yeah. whatever. at least you seem conent and more balanced now.

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    • 1mo

      And you're still anonymous

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    • 1mo

      No its because YOU have a problem, and your use of the term ''silly'' is so juvenile, and inessential. I would have called you a Jackass, but that'll be insult to the jackass.

    • 1mo

      yeah your silliness is my problem.

  • 1mo

    I still haven't learnt to accept everything and enjoy it all.
    :'(

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  • 1mo

    21 and certainly matured but I don't know if i wanted it to be in this direction.

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  • 1mo

    If you're justifying your maturity, you're not mature.

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    • 1mo

      I am not justifying my maturity, I understand that everyone will get a different message from the take. I simply stated what led to my maturity, and that although the experiences were not favorable, they had their importance. That is, I am content with myself and my life. Kudos though for not being anonymous with your comment.

      Thanks for the read!!

  • 1mo

    I'm glad that you're satisfied with your life. Not many are. I myself got "good where I am and accepting and loving myself at starting at 32 and I think to 35(ish). I still have some things to overcome, but they're looking much smaller now.

    Sorry to hear that you were raped as a child.

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  • 1mo

    I haven't had traumatic events like this but I'm still not content with my life.

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  • 1mo

    As a short guy I could never be beautiful in the eyes of others. I've been left with the one thing that cannot be changed... lack lf height!

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    • 1mo

      *of.

      Like to add that I love the dalmation gif 😃

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    • 1mo

      I used to think this (I'm 5'4" BTW). Not any more. Once you learn not to care a rats ass about shit you can't change, your outlook changes.

    • 1mo

      @AlwaysBelieving I agree wholeheartedly

  • 1mo

    It definitely motivates 👍

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  • 1mo

    Kudos to you because you received enlightenment early.

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  • 1mo

    Generally curious. You having a big noes and thinking you were unattractive or not pretty enough could this have driven you to being used and abused by white men as a fuck toy?

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    • 1mo

      Does not matter now, it is in the past. I am happy now, and if that was the reason they used me, then it speaks volumes on who they are as a person, not me. Also, why anonymous though?

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    • 1mo

      Wait this isn't making sense. So your saying no other guy liked you and in a population where whites are <5% that only white guys went for you and found you attractive?

    • 1mo

      No I am liked by blacks, hispanic and indians, or mixed (black and indian), and whites. I was just saying that white men like me just as any of the other races I have mentioned

  • 1mo

    I always envied the relationship Pongo and Perdita had...

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What Girls Said 5

  • 7d

    good topic,

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  • 1mo

    Good for you, hon! You deserve a good life, and you deserve to be happy. Being happy and content is a huge achievement. Because happiness is elusive, and it cannot be bought. I know a few millionaires who are as angry and miserable as they could be. I am glad you came to terms with your past and are moving past it. I hope your future is full of great times and amazing memories.

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  • 1mo

    This was so wonderful to read, I'm really happy for you. Well done.

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  • 1mo

    Congratulations for finding and falling in love with yourself. I'm going through a very great phase in my life. I evolved beautifully. I learned to take care of myself, I learned to be happy and contented no matter what circumstances I face. I still am in great trouble but I could care less! I transformed to be strong and beautiful (both inside and outside). I learned to learn from my mistakes, I learned the art of letting go.
    And I am sorry to hear about the harrassments you and your friend faced. I was also molested in my childhood and was sexually harassed in my teenage years. But here I am still fighting with everything and smiling. I had depression as well which I put to end. This life is really beautiful so why sit at a corner and whine?

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  • 1mo

    This gives me hope for the future :)

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