10 Reasons Why Cats Simply Don't Give a Fu**

[CisScum]

Sooo I just got a new kitten and well...she's kind of a bitch, the same as my other three cats. So yeah, I'm kind of a cat person I suppose; they're hilarious.

1. They go on your keyboard and computer desk for no reason

Oh hey, you're writing a paper for university? Now you aren't. Oh hey, you're playing a video game? Nope, I'm taking over. But at least cats are cute, like in an evil sort of way.

2. You're their slaves when they want food

They'll literally beg and whine for food like they haven't had a meal in days. Then when you finish feeding them, they want more food soon after.

3. They will play with anything, even your own body parts

Oh, is that your foot? No it isn't, it's now my personal toy and I am going to scratch you now. I can't even tell you how many scratches I have on my body because of cats. But they're still cute.

4. They will seriously fuck you up; they aren't playing around

They may be really cute and fluffy, but when the time comes they will fuck you up. They seriously are evil little devil creatures. But the fluffiness makes up for it so it's okay.

5. They are insanely smart at times

It's kind of like they're plotting against you, just watching and learning. You better watch out...

6. They have staring contests with you

Like seriously, there's been many encounters of staring contests with my cats; they just stare at me from across the room.

7. They scratch whatever the fuck they want

I have so many scratches on furniture and other things, it's crazy. They don't care about your fancy new couch or your fancy new chair; they just want to stretch their claws.

8. They don't give a fuck about your drinks

So.....much.....spilled....water......

9. They steal food like assassins

Those sneaky bastards. One of my cats stole half a burger from my brother and ran away.

10. They only love you if you give them affection

But don't be fooled by that, they are still EVILLLL.

But honestly, us cat people just love our cats either way. They may be little furry creatures from hell, but they are still family. Until one day they kill you.

[ebbyeb]

Lmao honestly my cat isn't your typical cat. She's just really sweet, cuddly and clingy. She hasn't always been as clingy as this, but hey, I enjoy it! She's always been really sweet though. When I first got her I was really intent on teaching her how to talk and say things even she learned to call me "mama" and even now when I don't reward her or anything, she still calls me mama because she knows that it makes me happy and it's just so cute OMG! I'll be doing something and just hear her say "mama!" To get my attention. She's also learned how to signal if she wants me to open a door. She's so much like a shy little kid it's weird but I love my cute and quirky kitty <3

[Fathoms77]

Wow... ya know, contrary to popular belief, cats CAN be trained.

I have a cat and he doesn't scratch anywhere he's not supposed to (he has a dedicated scratcher and that's all he uses); he doesn't jump on things he's not allowed to jump on (the kitchen counter, for instance); he knows better than to scratch or play with my body parts (that's what toys are for), and he once had a problem with scratching at doors... and he never does that anymore, either.

Point is, you can have a well-behaved cat; you just have to use a little discipline. :)

[CisScum]

Very true, my cats rarely scratch couches these days, mostly anyways. But they do knock things off counter, try to steal food and other things haha.

I've seen cats use the toilet, they're pretty smart.

[Doffydood]

Our cat is the laziest thing ever. The rest of my family is constantly allowing for him and tending to him. I keep trying to tell my mum "he doesn't love you, he just wants food" but she won't listen ;-;
At least he knows he's barred from my bedroom :)

[CisScum]

LOL aw

[Doffydood]

I stand by my belief. Cats are just manipulating humans.

[jjesica346]

Great take!! I dont think their evil. I do agree they are a pain though. I can't cook/eat w/out my cat bothering me, i actually have to put him in the laundry room sometimes. He is always hungry. A few times when i was eating and he wanted some (he was staring at me) and i didn't give him any, he ran over and knocked my drink over just out of spite. Plus he gets into everything. I even have to hide the garbage can.

[CisScum]

LOL aw, what a crazy cat.

[TokyoGhoulLover]

Dude a cat can become Satan's dictator with a leather long coat and evil attire and as the sky rains red with fire and blood i'd still go "Aww, kitty Nyan Nyan! cuddle me!" :) ... glob the cats got me good <:/

[CisScum]

Very true, they're cute on the outside but pure evil on the outside.

[TokyoGhoulLover]

Evil? or just misunderstood? <:)

[LEIGHX]

<3
https://i.giphy.com/krZUvydC7Qrdu.gif</a>

[CisScum]

LOL all bow down to the king.

[ThisDudeHere]

I still like them more than dogs though. At least cats have never bee openly aggressive against me.

[CisScum]

Same, I mean I have 4 so. But I seen a study where cats may actually be plotting against us LOL.

[Luci92]

Hahaha so true.
Personally I'm more of a dog person.

[CisScum]

Ya so is my brother, my one cat always hisses at him for a reason LOL.

[Luci92]

Hahahaha my cat hates me... but to be fair she hates everyone.

[CisScum]

LOL its cause they're eeevillllll

[Luci92]

they areeee

[EmpatheticLady]

This is cute... and hilarious at the same time. 😜 I don't think you ever showed me all your cats!

[CisScum]

Well the first cat that I just got is the first picture haha, and uhhh I can show more.

[EmpatheticLady]

Haha, I figured that was yours. 😛 Looks sweet.

[LadyTerror]

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[SnowHearth]

That twit.

[Autumn-Bunny]

I used to have a cat when I was little and I swear it acted like a dog... I must have looked crazy walking a cat and bunny on a leash.

[CisScum]

LOL really wow, that's interesting. I tried to get my cat that passed away not long ago, he didn't mind.

[Autumn-Bunny]

Yes lol my brother used to make fun of me. It's pretty easy if you train the when they're little.

[CisScum]

Ya true LOL, I wanna teach my cats to go on a human toilet and flush in the future.

[Autumn-Bunny]

😑 you're making fun of me aren't you.

[CisScum]

NO LOL, i've seen people train their cats to do that, i think it's funny.

[Autumn-Bunny]

Really? Hmm interesting

[CisScum]

Ya I swear, it's kinda cool.

[Autumn-Bunny]

I wouldn't want to share a bathroom with a pet though😵

[CisScum]

LOL, the cat can like use the powder room or something. Honestly I wouldn't either, theirs like the scare where soon enough they will learn how to open a door and barge in.

[Thisperson98]

When I was a kid, one of our cats actually could open doors.

[Autumn-Bunny]

@Thisperson98 that's cool

[Katy16]

Lol I can't relate to all of these because my cat is pretty chill and just eats and sleeps but I work at a shelter so I can definitely see these things lol

[Thisperson98]

Cats are not evil at all and they are extremely loyal. If you constantly give them food at least.

[CisScum]

Take away the food and they start planning for revenge and to get all the food for themselves.

[Triss]

Omg yess all of the above and I still loveeee my little Snowy💋❤😂😂

[Djaaaaaay]

Great one dude... 👍 I like those kitty's myself and have one also. Characters they are. !!!

[Yanoa_Yanza]

LOL I saw the the video of the cat pushing down the TV. That was gold! Like the cat didn't even flinch at all or even look at his owner, he didn't care at all xD

[TadCurious]

LOL This was freaking funny as hell. Great job.

[CisScum]

Thank you haha

[Saoirse_Nua]

That is 120% true - Cats are evil geniuses

[CisScum]

Very true haha, they're plotting your demise.

[Whaaaaa]

Cats are just assholes

[CisScum]

True, that's why I have hundreds of scratches LOL

[Nandor]

That just proves that cats have emotions and that makes them the perfect pet :)

[aurora_v]

They are still cute though.

[CisScum]

True LOL

[Schrodingerscat]

I just loveeee dem cats💙💙💙