Things I've Learned In Life About People and Behaviors So Far

Things I've Learned In Life About People and Behaviors So Far

To my disappointment someone here recently wrote a Take with a very similar title, though I know they couldn’t have known that. I point this out because I don’t want it to seem like I hopped on a bandwagon and followed along like how everyone else here does. This Take has actually been in the making for a while now.

At first I was going to write about all the things I’ve learned in life so far period - and still plan to - but felt like saying what I’ve learned about people was more important at the moment, because we actually do learn the most in life from who we meet and how people are. I’ve discussed here before that I’m very observant when it comes to people. I know how to read the way someone is. Of course I’m wrong sometimes like everyone is, but the older I get the more right I am. I’ve become a lot more perceptive of people’s characters and behaviors, and I think that could be due to the fact that I’ve experienced many different kinds of people in my life, from the very good to the very bad, and all oddballs and unexplainables in between.

I don’t pretend to know so much more than anyone else or present some image that I’m the wisest, I’m just talking about what I’ve seen and learned.

I also am somewhat clairvoyant, which actually is something I don’t really talk about and I’m not gonna talk about it in full detail here either, but I tend to have a certain kind of sense about people at times that goes beyond just normal instincts. Like knowing what someone’s name is before they even tell me. Or knowing where they’re from just from looking at them. And on the Internet it’s even scarier. Many, many times I have an image of what someone on the other side of the screen looks like if they don’t show themselves, and even they’re surprised when they tell me it’s correct. If they wear glasses. If they’re a redhead. If they’re Asian. If they’re in the military. Even some sexual details I get right too sometimes.

So here's my list of things I've learned about people so far in my life, and some of it is what a lot of people miss about others. Because the truth is people aren’t very deep in their thought processes or observations. They can’t see further than the surface. They get fooled - we all do at one point or another, in fact I got fooled last week and learned more because of it. Folks are just naive. They would say that paying attention to people or noticing their actions and character is unimportant or overthinking it. And I would say they’re not thinking on it enough.

- A good conversation can change anyone's bad mood.

- Some generalizations about people really are true.

- Conversations with foreigners makes your world bigger.

- Social workers - especially the kind ones - seem to be the only people in the government who really understand the problems in main stream America.

- Making a female smile can even brighten your own day.

- Sometimes your instincts aren't wrong about that person. Sometimes you can judge a book by it’s cover. Sometimes they do give you a good or bad feeling from the start. Sometimes what you see really is what you get.

- Walking away isn't always being the bigger person, but sometimes the opposite.

- Sexual experience really is the way a lot of people determine if someone is naive, smart, or experienced in life where sex doesn't apply.

- I can understand how white people can get tired of being called racist sometimes, or thought to be racist.

- Never try to work things out with someone who says what they want but doesn't want to hear your side, ending it with: "And that's all I have to say about it. I'm done with this discussion."

- The ones who really hear you out are rare. Hold 'em close.

- People get awkward and quiet when you talk about poor and less fortunate people, or talk about how you've been poor before.

- Laughter is sometimes a cover for anger, sadness, fear, or fear of weakness. A false show of strength, bravado, or indifference.

- Black men (and I am one) have a way of talking over or around you if you're in a group and don't relate to what they're talking about, similar to being the only guy in a group of chicks.

- You can tell a lot about a person by the things they DON'T say and DON'T do.

- Most people have their own definition of what a "good person" is, and it's almost never the right one.

- The more you think you know the less you really do; the smarter you think you are the more you have to learn.

- Most men don't really want most women.

- People who really connect are the ones who can have quiet moments together and not feel awkward.

- Some people can open up to you about their situation if you've been open about yours.

- People seem to think there's a deeper reason for our actions than there always is.

- Some are afraid of the quiet because silence makes them have to look inward and they don't want to, so they're always listening to music, always on the phone, watching TV, etc.

- Women who choose to hang around way more females than males and feel more comfortable talking to them about things than their own boyfriends or husbands are not some of the best people to meet.

- Sometimes the little things can tell you a lot about a person.

- People who are all fun and games and tell you to lighten up or not take things so seriously really just want to bring you down to their level because they can see you have more depth.

- It feels good when a female is really relaxed, open, and comfortable around only you in a friendly way.

- Sarcasm is the only way some people know how to express themselves. It's also often a defense mechanism for people who aren't very secure in themselves. They see it is witty intelligence when it's really just rudeness.

- Older Hispanics tend to appreciate you speaking Spanish with them more often than the younger ones.

- Most people are just as selective at listening as they are with reading.

- The wisest people in life are the ones who are aware of everything, not being naive and just "focusing on the good."

- Some people see it as weakness to meet you halfway or level with you.

- Hispanic women tend to have less prejudices towards blacks than Hispanic men.

- Therapists, counselors, and psychiatrists have more problems than you do.

- Guys are much more attracted to their female co-workers, neighbors, and teachers than to a hot random chick at a bust stop, the mall, or the Internet.

- Popular people and crowd leaders fear being hated and alone more than any of us.

- Naivety is natural in kids, but adults tend to choose it.

- Most people more often remember when you do something bad or stupid than when you do good.

- You can't let people stop you from living.

I think this quote of my own that I posted on Google+ sums that up best:

What have you learned about people so far? Take note as you go along on the road of life. Don't let your experiences pass by without learning something. People can be some of the most interesting things you will ever experience or gain knowledge from or about. But at the same time, they are all flawed, moody, temporary, and expendable. Some people still haven't learned not to have high expectations yet. Some still get disappointed. Although humans can be rather interesting, at the end of the day the way we are is not surprising.

#WhatHaveYouLearnedAboutPeople?


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What Girls Said 17

  • 18d

    I think walking away is usually a good idea, but you're right. Sometimes you need to confront or the problem won't stop.

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  • 1d

    good topic

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  • 13d

    As usual, great take!
    Every single point I wanted to say something about but there's too many haha. I really really agree with all too. I loved the talking to foreigners, the poor people one, the last three especially. There were more I loved too though.

    Please though, do that clairvoyant thing on me 🙈

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    • 11d

      Haha. A vibration has to happen. Something in the waves ;-)

  • 14d

    I love this

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  • 16d

    Decent take, almost enough to forgive you for calling me a troll a couple weeks ago.

    As a matter of fact, I do have red hair and glasses, but you could have found that out by reading some of my other posts. Clearly the other guy was Asian military based on his profile picture.

    But decent take. I agree with a fair amount of it, especially the part about therapists having problems and most people being selective with listening and reading. That people being scared of the quiet because they have to look inward is something I've wondered about before. There has to be a reason why someone can't just relax.

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    • 15d

      @Idonthaveausername I don't recall ever calling you a troll and don't even remember talking to you. And not sure who you're talking about being Asian based on their profile.

  • 17d

    I totally agree with this MyTake. I have seen many things too. I really take small details into consideration and I totally believe that there is a reason for every thing that happens. It took a lot of energy, time and effort just to be aware. I spend a lot of time thinking and reflecting as a person each day and I have definitely grown my own mindset.

    There is just too much social conditioning and the media/social media is just constantly promoting it. Our millennial generation is too impulsive, unforgiving, judgmental and cynical. I'm glad there are still people that reflects on social issues deeply and willing to be empathetic about it. We desperately need to impart positive values to the younger ones if we are to ever seek salvation.

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  • 17d

    Depressed much?

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  • 18d

    I loved this especially - Sarcasm is the only way some people know how to express themselves. It's also often a defense mechanism for people who aren't very secure in themselves. They see it is witty intelligence when it's really just rudeness.

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  • 18d

    "Walking away isn't always being the bigger person, but sometimes the opposite"
    ⬆somehow I find this one quite interesting. Not many people think so, including the one of people always telling others to lighten up and live life to the fullest.

    About your quotation of Stephen Covey, personally I don't want to just vent to people. Sure, sometimes I want for them to just listen to me babbling, but most of the time I want to hear the other person's perspective on the subject and experience. So I do just that... like now.

    Many times I wish I could have just not said anything.

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  • 18d

    - People who are all fun and games and tell you to lighten up or not take things so seriously really just want to bring you down to their level because they can see you have more depth.

    Definitely true most of the time. However, I'll admit that I do this and it's not just because I perceive them as having more depth than me. I already know that when I'm messing about and acting like a fool with my friends it's because I want attention and acceptance from my peers in the group. I also know that the person sitting on the sidelines not joining in can see that too, how primitive and predictable our social behaviour is. Usually they don't think I know it already and they just put it down to me being impulsive and immature. But while I admit that I can be impulsive and immature and my actions reflect this, it doesn't mean that I'm incapable of any higher thought. I am impulsive. I am immature. I know. But I accept it. While the person on the sidelines resists their own primitive behaviour because they want to feel mature (assuming that's the reason why they're not joining in and not some other reason, for example feeling upset, etc), I embrace my immature side because I believe it's emotionally healthy to have fun. It's natural for us to crave attention and acceptance from others. It's natural for us to feel happy when we get that connection we crave for. And this is why I'll invite people over to join us, and perhaps say they should lighten up if they don't. Not all instinctive behaviour is "bad" and needs to be resisted. Sometimes it's healthier to accept it yet know the reasons behind it.

    I didn't mean to write an essay. But as you can see, this is why people simply say "Lighten up" instead. But perhaps I should explain my thoughts and start a huge psychological discussion next time. It would be interesting, haha.

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  • 18d

    This was a really nice. And you seem like an awesome person. Thank-you.

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  • 18d

    Clairvoyant, hmm. I wonder what you think I look like then...

    Yes, the part about what people DON"T say or do is very powerful. You can tell more of what a person really thinks of you when you look between the lines.

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    • 17d

      If I begin talking to you more regularly, some images in my mind can surface ;-) I love the way you put that last sentence.

  • 18d

    I enjoyed reading this👌

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  • 18d

    This was really good. Read it all. Very nice and I find everything to be true of what you said.

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  • 18d

    This was interesting. Thanks for sharing your thoughts.

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  • 18d

    I love this list and I agreed with every piece except this one
    -Most people have their own definition of what a "good person" is, and it's almost never the right one-
    Well how can you say that its almost never the right one? What do you mean? If everyone has their own perspectives formed by life experiences by what makes up a good person, then isn't there no set "good person"?

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    • 17d

      What I mean is, people basically decide who is a "good person" based on how they treat just them. They don't think about how they are or can be in other areas of life and with other people. Example: just because I may know someone is a good person TO ME, doesn't mean I know they're a good person for/to someone else.

    • 17d

      oh I get it

  • 18d

    I think is a damn perfect list.
    I may not be clairvoyant or anything like you, but I've found I'm quite good at reading people, understanding people, knowing how to "help" I guess, whether it's getting people to open up, or laugh, or talk, or calm down etc, I usually know what to say or do. And I use a lot of things from this list for that.

    It's really quite true. Just making someone smile in a day, or someone else laugh can really make you happy too.

    Well thought out list :) And I love your quote at the end.

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What Guys Said 8

  • 12d

    Some of it true some fake but I like

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    • 11d

      @skeptic002 What did you think was fake?

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    • 11d

      yes it does you are talking about behavior

      (Things I've Learned In Life About People and Behaviors So Far)

    • 10d

      @skeptic002 Things NOT said and NOT done is ALSO behavior.

  • 14d

    I don't agree with everything on this list but it was an interesting read. You are very perceptive.

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  • 17d

    - Sexual experience really is the way a lot of people determine if someone is naive, smart, or experienced in life where sex doesn't apply.

    Give some examples

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    • 17d

      Well, people often have this idea that if you're still a virgin then it means you're just goofy or naïve everywhere else in life. People have a nerdy view of you because of your sexual inexperience that isn't even related to anything else in life or in YOUR life.

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    • 17d

      Most people I know aren't like this though though, but I've met some people that tie sex life/lack of to their identity/self worth which is nonsense because dry spells happen too. I mean are you supposed to feel down on yourself between every sexual encounter you have?

    • 17d

      I agree. But for me I have known people with highschool level mentality that tie sex with life experience, and it makes no sense.

  • 17d

    Great take. I don't understand people not being respectful of others tho as if their time is somehow less important. I think it's pretty inconsiderate and shows you're a bad person.

    I mean I get hit up or have multiple girls message me and I reply to all of them. Of course, the ones you like you reply to more enthusiastically, but i never ignore them. I wouldn't give out my number to people i don't wanna speak to.

    So I think it's pretty ridiculous of some women to not reply. They even do it to friends and I think it's pretty bad they think that they can just carry on and speak/text later as if it's totally fine and polite to blank them.

    by the way can u help me out www.girlsaskguys.com/.../q2173776-why-do-women-do-these-3-things-in-terms-of-being-sexual-around-guys

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  • 18d

    I think these two also deserve to be here,
    1) There is nothing in the cosmos as friendship between Male and female expect some rare instances (Sisters, mothers and very, very... close friends).
    The difference is "males tend to be open about it" and females try to hide it to their grave until forced or stimulated to share with you.
    2) You never picked the girl, She always picks you first. You may think that you initiated a conversation but She was there "watching you" long before even you noticed her.

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    • 17d

      I wouldn't exactly agree with No.2, lol. Many times, the girl got interested BECAUSE you initiated the conversation, and she was not aware of you at all to begin with.

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    • 6d

      @Darkone1 And that's fine. It's happened to me a few times myself. But just because it happened once or twice doesn't make it a general rule. Guys generally pick the girl, and when she accepts that pretty much says she was 'chosen,' so to speak. Even if she watched you first, did she even approach you and take it from there? Nah, cuz most chicks don't do that.

    • 6d

      I agree with that, She will prefer to die but never ask you out first.

  • 18d

    Fantastic Take.

    I always get a lot of appreciation if I speak Spanish, French, or Italian to people who don't speak English. I enjoy their reaction too.

    I agree that extremely sarcastic people are absolute cunts.

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  • 18d

    Lots of good stuff in there - I agree with quite a lot of them

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    • 18d

      I can already tell you're a special person in this world, bud :-)

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