Why Hope Can Be So Terrifying

It has been nearly a month since I was hospitalized for being suicidal. I spent one night in the hospital and I did an intensive outpatient program that ended last Thursday. I've got hope again, for the first time in a long damn time I have hope. It's not always present; sometimes I lose it again but since that first time I've always managed to get it back but I've also found that hope is terrifying.

That quote is true. When I was well and truly depressed and ready to end it, I wasn't afraid. I was planning on dying and I was okay with that. Waffles was going to punch his own ticket. That was going to be my future. I knew what it held.

Now, I don't. I know what I want out of life but I don't know what the future holds for me anymore.

AND THAT IS TERRIFYING. I'd say it's a logical extension of the fear of the unknown. You are essentially fearing for what the future holds and for me, it's a fear that I had not had in a long damn time and that makes it all the more terrifying.

But what else do I have? It's a double edged sword, I can have the things I want in life but I might not have them. Who knows what is going to happen?

But hope, I gotta keep it or else I have nothing.

I just gotta remember


13|2
15|8
Waffles731 is a GirlsAskGuys Editor
Who are Editors?

Join the discussion

0/2500

Submit

What Girls Said 15

  • 18d

    I love this! I'm glad you finally have hope

    0|1
    0|0
  • 18d

    Absolutely. If you have to repeat this to yourself multiple times a day, then you do it. Keep hope alive dude. You got this.

    0|1
    0|0
  • 18d

    Yup! Everyone has a purpose and hope. Just gotta do what you can to make sure you make your life a good one.

    0|1
    0|0
  • 3d

    ıf ı lose my hpe there will be nothing left to live

    0|1
    0|0
  • 13d

    I understand this completely! Let me just say... after a long period of living in a life limbo... actual concrete good things have begun to happen for me. It's definitely still surreal... to have it feeling more and more... not scary... but... it's nice right now. Hope you find this place too!

    0|1
    0|0
  • 13d

    I am so glad that you found hope, don't lose it :) Life with hope is way more easier and not only easier but also beautiful.
    I hope (oh hope again XD) that your future will bring you many happy surprises.

    0|1
    0|0
  • 14d

    You will be ok girl. I know the feeling. Been down that dark road, lost and found hope. Loved and hated hope but without it, life makes no sense. Don't be afraid of the unknown, think of it as a big adventure full of rollercoasters. They are scary bit they are so much fun. Life is great, one and only. After the storm the sun must come out. All the best to you girl, you're brave and strong. Never stop fighting, love

    0|1
    0|0
  • 14d

    This is good news. I'm happy for you.

    0|1
    0|0
  • 15d

    Jeremiah 29:11 For I know the plans I have for you, declares the LORD, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope.

    Proverbs 24:14 Know that wisdom is such to your soul; if you find it, there will be a future, and your hope will not be cut off.

    1 Corinthians 15:19 If in Christ we have hope in this life only, we are of all people most to be pitied.

    0|1
    0|0
  • 16d

    being afraid of the unknown and what the future holds, is one of the things that makes us human. and something that every single person can relate to. its not a weakness, its just being human.
    im glad u came out of the situation a stronger person!

    0|1
    0|0
  • 18d

    I love this take! Hope can be scary, but you know what, you can't predict the future so why bother stressing over it? Hope for the best. That is all you can do.

    0|1
    0|0
  • 18d

    To be honest whats the fun about the future when there's no fear of it? When its just predictable? I find the unknown rather exciting!

    Im glad you're getting somewhere, hope is the most important step in a suicidal person's mind towards recovery.

    1|1
    0|0
  • 18d

    Great message. I think we all need to read this. 😊

    1|1
    0|0
  • 18d

    It can be

    0|1
    0|0
  • 18d

    My mom always says start and end your day with gratitude. For any little thing you can think of at the moment. It's sound advice.

    happierhuman.wpengine.netdna-cdn.com/.../...e5.png

    0|1
    0|0

What Guys Said 8

  • 15d

    You talk as if hope is the bare minimum to be above nothing. But in truth, hope can be everything. It can drive any deed, inspire any emotion, even literally and directly keep someone with enough of it from death.

    0|0
    0|0
  • 17d

    well if all you have is hope its like building a tower without any scaffolding

    0|0
    0|0
  • 18d

    Nice take - You are so right hope is such a comfort but also a terrifying prospect - Don't rush you have all the time in the world to adapt

    0|0
    0|0
  • 18d

    The day I gave up on having hope is the day I actually started succeeding in life. When I stopped idealizing the world and looked at how dirty shitty and just straight up awful it truly was I was able to take advantage of it and make something of my life.

    0|0
    0|0
  • 18d

    No one knows what the future has in store. But we do know this. We're all glad that you have one, and that at least in my mind, your one shape son of a bitch and that's worth a lot

    0|1
    0|0
  • 18d

    Sounds like a good time.

    0|1
    0|0
  • 18d

    Hope is also part of that goal you are working towards, and working towards a goal gives you a sense of purpose and progression.

    Good stuff 👍

    0|1
    0|0
Loading...