I Know It Could Be Worse... and I Don't Care.

[vonasaurus]

Picture this: your significant other is in a terrible accident. S/he survives, but with various injuries, and well-meaning friends or relatives try to comfort you by saying that "it could have been soooo much worse! At least s/he didn't die!"

Chances are that the person saying this means well and doesn't realize just how condescending that comment is. And, if you call that person out, it makes you look like an ass . But I wouldn't blame you if you did, and here's why:

Back in February, I shattered my ankle in 3 places. I had surgery, stayed in the hospital for 5 days, and spent 8 weeks in a cast (lime green, of course). I couldn't go to work or school, dress myself, or even shower, for months and have been in constant pain since my operation.

All things considered, I've been trying to stay positive about the whole ordeal. But I sometimes feel guilty for reading and playing Fallout for 13 hours a day while my husband is out working or running errands... and don't get me started on how depressing it is to be stuck indoors when it's nice out.

I see pictures on social media of all the cool things my friends are doing without me, and I get frustrated because I could be out there with them, if not for all of this.

We’re taught that our suffering is less than everyone else’s, and that we should be grateful because "it could have been worse". Am I glad that it was my ankle that shattered, rather than my neck or something? Sure. But that doesn't mean that what happened to me wasn't dreadful, nor does it give anyone the right to undermine my experience, and the same goes for whatever predicament you may find yourself in.

Yes, it could have been worse. But I'm sick of hearing it and, frankly, I don't care.

If you're trying to cheer up or comfort someone, please refrain from using those words. Trust me when I say that s/he already knows that and probably wants to punch you in the throat for minimizing what s/he is going through.

(But it could have been worse, you say? Please, tell me how life’s all butterflies and rainbows because I only punched you in the throat instead of ripping out your spleen with my bare hands.)

Do no harm, and take no shit.

-von

[AskNaz]

I think when people say it could have been worse, they're just trying to soften the situation not undermine it.

Once, when I was quading with a group, it was very dusty and I couldn't see the cliff ahead of me until it was too late. I flew off the cliff, bailed my quad, rolled down the hill and my quad flipped behind me. Thankfully it stopped right before landing ontop of me thanks to it being stopped by my boot.

In that scenario, I could've been easily killed or heavily injured.
I walked away from it with injuries I recovered from within a week.

The situation could have certainly been a lot worse and when people would tell me that, it wasn't because they were trying to undermine what happened, they said in a way that they are grateful that the situation DIDN'T turn out to be worse as it could've definitely been.

Sure, I wasn't necessarily willing to be thrown off a cliff, but I was grateful it didn't turn out worse. That's what I think people mean when they say that.

[nojokecarmichael]

I completely get what you're saying and I hate when people say that crap too. It's just inconsiderate.

[oddwaffle]

There is a chinese saying... it sounds really cool but i can only translate it as: Good luck never repeats, Bad luck always come in a string.

Which is true most of the time. Just look at how luck you can get... I mean you get lucky... ONCE! Then when you get unluckly... it hit you like a train... multiple times in a row.

[vonasaurus]

that's pretty much what happened: we had thunder snow that knocked out our power for a week and had to stay with my in-laws in a seniors' residence... got pneumonia and had literally just finished the bottle of antibiotics when i shattered my ankle in 3 places.

needless to say, 2017 has not been my year and made that painfully obvious in just the first 2 months. at this rate, all i can ask is that 2018 is better.

[kilowatt04]

It could be worse: if you had gotten a serious permanent disability from this, then you would have to endure people saying things like "you're so brave" or "you're such an inspiration!" and REALLY want to punch them in the throat.

Regardless of injury, I just hope you recover well, and don't take sappy condescending shit from anyone.

[cheapshotbob]

this is my life , in fact my family was raised on the whole it could be worse thing. when my mom got a surgery that required thread made from pig skin. we all chipped in and got her a stuffed pig. lol we all thought it was funny seeing how it could have been worse and she could have been they pig they used lol.

so everyone in my family always thinks beyond whats is worse and we just accept it and dont fight it. and have fun with it some times we dint let it discourage us at all.

[Waffles731]

I hope you feel better

[John_Doesnt]

Things can always get worse in trapezoid.

[capturemyheartnow]

How do you feel now?

[vonasaurus]

still pretty awful, not gonna lie. but i try and make the best of things.

[capturemyheartnow]

You are brave and sensible.

[CT_CD]

Could be worse