Change Comes Within Time

SweetHomicidalQueen

You know how facebook shares those memories from 1+ years ago?

A Blast From The Past

Well two years ago today I posted this:

Okay so rant time.
Yea I wear my heart on my sleeve. I have a huge heart, I care for everyone, if I like you or not. I'm a good friend, or at least I try to be. I love my friends, if you're my friend, you're my family.
I care for everyone yet at the same time I'm slowly just not caring at all.
Like I'm always here for my friends, if we get in a fight or just don't talk for a long time, but you hmu cause you need someone, I'm always here.
I hate how I am, cause I know I can be better.
But I love how I am cause I know i AM good enough for those who matter.
So if you need advice or just to cry to me, go ahead and message me.
If you want to call and cry, ask for my number and I'll listen to why you hate your life and I'll give you every reason why you shouldn't.
I try to be a good friend. I also try to be a good girlfriend.
But if I'm dating someone...They mean everything to me. My current boyfriend is my world. He means everything to me. He would risk his life for me and I for him. He'd defy his family for me.
He is one of few people I'd do ANYTHING for. The others are my sister and brothers, Hope and Haley and Tyler.
Ben is my everything, making me the happiest girl in the world. Its 4:26 am and i can't get my mind off of him.
he's dead asleep but im wide awake and all thoughts are on him.
I love Hope, Haley and Ben.
I love you like sisters Hope and Haley.
Im in love with you Ben. you're my prince <3

I was so deeply in love, it is kind of disgusting to me at this point. I have posted a mytake or two before on Ben, and my heartbreak. This is just an example of what I was like.

After he destroyed my heart, it took me about what, a year ish to get over him. I cried over him so much and I wouldn't talk to anyone. Honestly if my mom brought him up in conversation I'd cry really hard, and it has happened before.

Since then, I have improved greatly. I am single currently but I don't care (it's irrelevant that I am talking to someone haha). But seriously, I am working on myself, I no longer hate myself. Apparently this "fake it till you make it thing" with confidence actually works. I say good stuff about myself and I start to believe it.

Yesterday was actually my last day of school and graduation is June 1st. I'm not going but I fucked passed my classes, both semesters with at least a 3.25 GPA both times. I'm also moving to live with my cousin @lexythelou22 to work on getting my drivers license. Her and I are going to ADULT together.

Just...compared from now and two years ago is amazing. Loving myself, mostly loving life, working on who I am as a person. I'm living off the motto "Do no harm, take no shit". I am genuinely proud of myself cause I know what I want and deserve and I'm not gonna let someone ruin this for me.

I hope if any of you are in a bad place right now, you'll realize you gotta give it time and push through. You're always gonna be there for yourself, you're your #1. Love yourself and believe it will get better. <3

Change Comes Within Time

Change Comes Within Time
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